


Hold You Closer

by harriet_vane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Babyfic, Kidfic, M/M, canon AU, ot5 friendship all over the place, slightly future au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-05 20:03:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 51,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harriet_vane/pseuds/harriet_vane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Babyfic, set in the not-very-distant future.</p><p> <br/><em>Louis cuddles the baby against his chest. “I’m going to bloody murder you,” Louis says, clearly to Liam, but his tone is still baby-soft and sing-songy. “What the hell were you thinking?” Ailie reaches for Louis’s hair and tugs, and he pretends he’s going to eat her hand with a rumbly, “nom nom nom nom.” She laughs and claps.</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>“Dunno,” says Liam honestly. He looks around his flat and sees all the scattered toys and bits of leftover meals lying around. It's a big space, but it's covered in baby debris. He doesn’t remember making such a mess. “I was at the hospital and I met Ailie and then I… I mean. Look at her.”</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>“She’s beautiful,” says Louis, and Liam feels a bit proud, even though he had nothing to do with it. “And you’re an idiot.”</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oliviacirce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliviacirce/gifts).



> A holiday present for [oliviacirce](http://archiveofourown.org/users/oliviacirce), who asked for babyfic and some ot5 band friendship <3 Whoops, how did this get so long? I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> For the record, there is nothing even remotely realistic about the adoption process in this fic. Apologies if that's going to throw anyone out of enjoying it. 
> 
> All the thanks to Melanie and Nell for reading it as I wrote it, and to Tora, MissP, and Elucreh for Britpicking, betaing, helping me with baby behavior, giving feedback, and Hannah for the [gorgeous tumblr artwork](http://theboycanthelpit.tumblr.com/post/71315302259/hold-you-closer-liam-louis-nc-17-52k). ♥ All remaining mistakes are entirely my own fault.
> 
> Please don't post this fic anywhere else, please don't distribute it anywhere, please don't put it on goodreads, and really really please don't link it to anyone being written about here. Thanks!

Her name is Ailie, and she’s the most perfect thing Liam’s ever seen.

She has enormous brown eyes, and light brown curls, and her skin is a light tan that makes Liam wonder where her parents were from, but the hospital doesn’t know. Or they won’t tell him; he’s only meant to be doing charity work. The band is on a long-ish break, and every minute of every day has been about Zayn and Perrie's upcoming wedding until Liam was so overwhelmed by wedding planning that he had to take a break from his break. He's had first aid training through the children's hospital charity, but none of it prepared him for walking through the children's ward, smiling and taking pictures with heartbreaking children who are ill, or lonely, or sometimes going to die. At least for once no one is rushing Liam through; he can stop and take pictures and chat to every single kid, and he swallows down how much he wants to cry.

And then one of the nurses gives him Ailie to hold. She’s much too little to have any idea who he is, talking but only saying, "bye" and "no," just sitting in his arms and smiling at him, playing with the buttons on his shirt and pulling at his hair where she can just barely reach it. 

“She’s only got one kidney that works,” says the nurse, “and she was premature, so she's much too small. But you had a troubled kidney too, didn’t you? My daughter said you did. So we thought you might like to meet Ailie.” Ailie puts her fingers in Liam’s mouth before he can respond; he mouths “bah bah bah” and she giggles. She doesn’t look ill. She looks happy. 

“A little girl this sweet ought to be adopted, but it’s hard, when she’s a difficult medical placement,” says the other nurse. “So much time and energy to take care of a little girl who’s always in and out of hospital getting tests done. We love her very much, don't we, darling?” She taps Ailie’s hand and Ailie turns and hides her face against Liam’s chest.

Liam can suddenly feel his heart beating, every thump shaking him to his core. She’s so tiny and fragile and he remembers, vaguely, those needles and check ups and doctors, and what would he have done without his mum and dad, and Ruth and Nic, bringing distracting toys and hugging him when it was bad and he wanted to cry? He manages to get Ailie’s fingers out of his mouth by blowing a raspberry against them, which makes her pull her hand back and laugh. And then he says, “Adopted?” in a funny, creaky voice he didn’t know he had, because the whole thing feels like it’s going on very far away, somewhere unimportant, and all that matters is how Ailie has snuggled up against his shoulder.

—

Liam never finds out exactly who called in the favors that allow him to take Ailie home a couple of days later. It’s certainly not the officially approved method of fostering. Liam’s never tried to use his celebrity for anything like this before, and it makes him feel a bit uncomfortable until he looks at Ailie, playing happily with the zip on his jacket, and feels that bone-deep certainty that she’s supposed to be with him.

Ailie makes happy nonsense sounds as he carries her outside. It’s a bit like talking to Louis before he’s had his tea, Liam thinks, and then remembers he hasn’t told anyone in the band about this and winces. Zayn and Perrie are busy with pre-wedding family things, and Louis is busy doing best man things for Zayn, and Liam didn’t really want to call and interrupt. 

He’s pretty sure they’d tell him this is a giant mistake, but he knows it’s not, so he just… hasn’t phoned. He misses them, though. He can imagine the lazy way Harry would smile at Ailie, and the goofy faces Niall would pull. Mostly he thinks about the way Louis would love her; he loves babies anyway, and Ailie is especially lovable. “Eventually,” Liam promises, kissing the top of Ailie’s head. For some reason she gets very excited and bangs her little hand against his chest a few times. Then she turns and waves politely to the paparazzi, opening and closing her entire fist. “Bye bye,” she says. “Bye bye bye.” 

“That’s not us, that’s Nsync,” Liam says fondly. She’ll have to learn some lyrics to a One Direction song. Kiss You might be a good one, since he can’t stop kissing her cheek to make her giggle. 

“Bye bye,” Ailie insists again, and then yawns and falls asleep in the car on the way back to Liam’s.

—

Sometime during the second day he’s got Ailie, Liam realizes how lucky he is. She's so amazingly good-natured that he hasn’t had to deal with a crying fit, or a temper tantrum meltdown. She likes napping with him in his bed, and she likes sitting with him on the sofa watching Peppa Pig, and she likes crawling around on the floor chasing Cheerios. Liam has a sudden terror that she’s going to find something horrible he forgot in a corner and put it in her mouth, so he spends a while frantically tidying, while she crawls off to explore. His flat is huge, with enormous windows that look out over the city, and fancy furniture he didn't pick out himself. He never realized how dangerous tables' edges were until he imagined a baby crawling into them. He’s had all sorts of toys brought to the flat, but she seems particularly interested in his trainers, for some reason. She loves those, and a stuffed dog toy he got her, which she naps with.

Just before lunch there’s a loud buzz from Liam’s door. Ailie drops the hairbrush she was banging on the floor and looks at Liam expectantly, so he picks her up and carries her over to the buzzer.

“Hello?” Liam says. 

“You aren’t answering your phone; open the _fucking_ door, Liam,” Louis shouts through the speaker.

Liam winces a little at his language, but Ailie claps delightedly. He doesn’t know how she knows she’ll love Louis, but it’s good she does. “C’mon in,” says Liam, buzzing him through. 

Liam’s heart is racing a bit; he’s managed to convince himself that not calling the boys all week has been okay; they’re busy, and he’s only fostering Ailie for a while. He doesn’t need their approval. But Louis storming up to the door means he has to think about what other people are going to think of her, and that’s terrifying. 

He bounces Ailie a bit. “It’s okay, Louis’s fantastic,” he says. She doesn’t look concerned; clearly she already knows. 

Then Louis throws the door open. He looks tired, and his hair is longer than when Liam saw him a couple of weeks back. He’s got an overnight bag in one hand, which he drops on the floor. His face is cross and sharp, and then he looks at Ailie and it all softens. 

“So the pap shots weren’t a joke,” Louis says.

Liam had forgot about those; he’s been pretty busy playing with Ailie. “Oh,” he says. “Those went out?”

“Jesus, Liam, _yes_ ,” Louis says. And then suddenly his tone goes soft and high-pitched and he holds his arms out. “Come here, sweetheart. What’s this donut done to you?”

Ailie squeals in delight and reaches for Louis. Liam would be offended, but he’s seen loads of babies around the world, and they all love Louis unconditionally. Louis cuddles Ailie against his chest. “I’m going to bloody murder you,” Louis says, clearly to Liam, but his tone is still baby-soft and sing-songy. “What the hell were you thinking?” Ailie reaches for Louis’s hair and tugs, and he pretends he’s going to eat her hand with a rumbly, “nom nom nom nom.” She laughs and claps.

“Dunno,” says Liam honestly. He looks around his flat and sees all the scattered toys and bits of leftover meals lying around. It's a big space, but it's covered in baby debris. He doesn’t remember making such a mess. “I was at the hospital and I met Ailie and then I… I mean. Look at her.”

“She’s beautiful,” says Louis, and Liam feels a bit proud, even though he had nothing to do with it. “And you’re an idiot.”

“I had to,” Liam tries, but that sounds crazy. “I looked at her and I just… I don’t know.”

“You’re in a _band_ that’s going on a world tour in a couple of months,” Louis says. His voice is sweet but it still makes Liam wince a little. Louis must be furious; he’s had to leave Zayn’s wedding preparations, and it does seem… a bit weird. “What on earth were you thinking, Liam?”

“Just…” Liam doesn’t know. He can’t say. There aren’t words, except his chest aches. This is who he wants to be. He takes Ailie back from Louis, clutching her to his chest. “She shouldn’t have to stay in hospital just because she’s got a dodgy kidney.” 

Louis’s whole face changes. “Oh, Liam,” he says. Liam can’t tell if that means Louis understands, or if he thinks Liam is hopelessly stupid. They sound a lot alike sometimes.

“It’s only fostering,” Liam says, even though if they give him the option he’ll keep her forever. “It’s only for a while. She just… needed someone.”

There is a long pause. Ailie yawns and holds on to Liam’s collar with one hand, putting her other thumb in her mouth. She blinks sleepily at Louis.

“Well,” says Louis, running his crooked finger along her cheek and making her smile. His voice is still baby-sweet. “Shit.”

—

Louis puts his bag in the guest room and spends three hours on the phone. Liam doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but Ailie is a little tetchy, and he ends up walking her up and down the hallway singing Blackbird to her over and over. Every time he thinks she’s dropped off to sleep she pops awake again and says, “Noooo,” in a tragic voice. He’s not entirely sure she knows what ‘no’ means, any more than ‘bye bye,’ but if she says no then he’s going to listen. So he walks and hums and thinks she’s so tiny he could hold her basically forever.

“Well, I’ve called Harry and Niall and told them there’s an emergency and they’ll be out there with you by tomorrow… No, I can’t come back right now, you wouldn’t _believe_... Give it a week, man, I promise, I’ll be back.” Louis sighs. Zayn — Liam’s sure he’s talking to Zayn — must say something, because Louis replies, “Because I think we should have been more worried about Liam, to be honest.”

“I’m fine,” says Liam, walking by the door to the room Louis is apparently staying in for a week. 

“Yes, _completely_ fine, obviously,” Louis shouts back. “Not making irrational decisions at all.”

“You aren’t irrational,” Liam says to Ailie, and kisses the top of her head.

“Aaaaa,” she agrees, and yawns. 

Louis says something else, and then, “Love you too, man,” and then appears in the hallway. He’s still in his travel clothes; joggers and a beanie and a loose t-shirt, and he looks really tired. Liam’s stomach twists a little with guilt. Louis's been working so hard trying to get everything perfect for Zayn and Perrie’s wedding, and now he’s had to run off to check up on Liam. 

“You don’t need to stay, we’re fine,” Liam says. 

“Stop talking rubbish,” says Louis. “She’ll never go to sleep unless you put her in her cot. You’ve got a cot, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” says Liam. “I’ve got a cot, and a push chair, and about a million rainbow plastic stacking toys, and a Harry Potter sleepsuit, and a Batman toy car—”

“Just the absolute necessities, then,” says Louis. He wants to fight about something, Liam can tell, but he won’t do it while Liam is holding Ailie. Liam intends to hold Ailie for maybe the rest of their lives. 

“Well, I had a couple of days to shop, and… I mean, I thought about what I would have wanted for toys. Mostly she just likes putting the toys in my trainers, though.”

“That’s because she’s a baby, aren’t you, baby?” Louis asks. “Give her to me, Liam. I’ll put her down for a nap.”

“I can do it,” says Liam, a little hurt. “I’ve been doing it for two days.”

The look Louis gives him makes Liam feel completely transparent. But Louis’s tone is gentle when he says, “I know you can. You’re doing brilliantly. Let me put her down for a nap so we can chat, you and I.”

What he means is _I know you won’t put her down, ever, and I want to shout at you for a while_ , and Liam knows that, but he hasn’t been able to tell Louis no since about the third day on X-Factor, so he surrenders Ailie and lets Louis carry her down the hall to Liam’s bedroom. She’s got a cot in there, but Liam’s mostly been letting her sleep in his bed, surrounded by pillows so she can't roll out. His bed is currently full of soft toys, and lost baby shoes. How can one little girl have accumulated so many things in just two days? It’s a mystery.

Liam sits in the kitchen with a cup of tea and waits. It takes Louis longer than he thinks it should, but when Louis finally reappears he doesn’t look annoyed. “She’s such a sweetheart,” Louis says. “I get it. It’s hard to put her down.”

“Yes,” says Liam gratefully, pushing a cup of tea toward Louis. He’s made it exactly the way Louis likes it, just in case that means Louis won’t get too stroppy.

Louis looks at the mug of tea for a minute, but doesn’t pick it up. “Are you quitting the band?” he asks sharply.

Liam’s heart stops. “What?” he says. “No! Fuck, Lou, no, why would you—”

“You’ve got a fucking _baby_ , Liam. You can’t exactly take her on tour with us, can you? Did you think about it at all? Did you ever stop and—” Louis stops and takes a deep breath. 

“I thought about it,” says Liam. He did. A little. Mostly he thought _She needs me_ and then took her home. But he did _consider_ the band and everything. “If anyone can afford extra hotel rooms and nannies it’s us.”

“But the crowds, and the travel, and the buses, and—” Louis is clearly holding himself back from shouting, because he glances toward the closed door of Liam’s room and visibly takes another pause, pressing his lips together angrily. “Fuck, Liam. Is this about the wedding?”

“What?” Liam is genuinely astonished by this turn of the conversation.

Louis presses on, looking grimly determined. “You’ve been depressed it was Zayn getting married and not you for a year now. Just because Danielle didn’t work out, and Sophia didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you won’t eventually get married and have a family, and you didn’t need to go and _adopt_ one, Liam. You’re only twenty-two, for fuck’s sake.”

“I know that,” says Liam. “You’re wrong. I’m happy for Zayn and Perrie, I love them.” 

“But you’re sad it’s not you.”

Liam doesn’t answer that, because it wasn’t a question. He doesn’t like this stern version of Louis. He doesn't think Louis's right, but he suspects Louis isn't entirely wrong, and he doesn't want to talk about it. Ailie isn't a mistake. “Can we just pretend this is a prank, and you can stop being stroppy over it, please?”

“A baby isn’t a fucking prank!” Louis seems to forget himself and gets a bit shouty after all. 

Liam shrugs and doesn’t look at him. He’s not giving Ailie back yet, and Louis isn’t actually his older brother, or his boss, or whatever. There is a really long, quiet pause. Louis drinks his tea, and Liam drinks his, and neither of them look at each other. 

Louis loves babies, Liam thinks, quietly resentful. He wants a million of them himself. He should understand. And if he doesn’t, well… Well…. 

No, Liam can’t really imagine a world in which he doesn’t care what Louis thinks, or doesn’t want him around. He can’t even pretend.

“You always were terrible at pranks, Payno,” says Louis eventually. He reaches across the table and flicks Liam lightly on the ear. Liam doesn’t say anything, but he grins into his tea, because that means it’ll all work out somehow.

— 

Liam’s been awake with Ailie since she came home with him two days ago, so Louis insists he take a nap. Liam isn’t tired, but he doesn’t mind lying down because her cot is by his bed, and he can listen to her breathe, and then suddenly it’s dark outside and he’s awake again because Louis is talking quietly to Ailie in the hall.

“Aren’t you beautiful?” Louis says. “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing? Aren’t you the best little girl in the world?” Liam can hear Ailie’s delighted reply of nonsense noises. 

Liam is overwhelmed with relief that whatever else happens, Louis is as enchanted by Ailie as Liam is. Everything else will fall into place as long as Louis adores Ailie properly. Liam stretches and yawns and has to concede that maybe, possibly he was a little tired after two days alone with a baby.

He gets up and isn’t particularly surprised when Louis glowers at him. Ailie pats Louis’s nose as if she’s making sure it’s still there. “You’ve mucked things up so badly,” Louis says, handing Ailie back to him. “I’ve ordered dinner. I don’t care what you want, it’s already here.”

“Okay,” says Liam. Louis spins on his heel and stomps to the kitchen. Ailie waves with her whole arm, shouting, “Bye bye!” after him. Maybe she does know what it means.

Liam follows Louis, because what else is he going to do? “What have I mucked up?”

“The Daily Mail thinks you’ve had a love child with a groupie,” says Louis.

Liam shrugs. “Well, they’re wrong.”

Louis makes a furious noise and shoves a bag of takeaway at Liam and then throws himself on the sofa. Liam tries to balance Ailie and the food and plates and forks. It’s precarious, but he manages. He gets as far as the sofa and then Louis takes Ailie again while Liam sets out the food.

“You got my favorite,” says Liam, frowning at the takeaway containers.

“So?” Louis grumps. “Did you bring anything for Ailie?” He carries her back into the kitchen and returns with a banana and a baby spoon. “She can have the rice, I suppose.”

“She eats everything, as long as you cut it up small enough,” says Liam. He wants to ask Louis why he’s being so confusing, but the look on Louis’s face makes him think he’d just get shouted at again. “Are you cross because of the love child thing?”

“I’m not cross,” Louis snaps. He’s got Ailie on his lap on the sofa, offering her a chunk of banana, which she takes and promptly crushes between her fingers. Louis kisses her banana-covered hand and helps himself to a takeaway container. 

“You sound cross.”

“No, I don’t. Shut up.”

Liam should start eating and stop arguing, but that’s not how his relationship with Louis works. “She’s not a love child,” Liam says. “The papers are always going to say stupid things. I don’t care.”

“You should care,” says Louis. “Poor little Ailie, getting her name dragged through the mud.”

“She can’t even read yet,” Liam points out. He almost wishes, for a minute, that Ailie were a love child, because then at least she’d really be Liam’s. He wouldn’t have to think about giving her back. 

“I didn’t think _you’d_ be our first baby scandal!” Louis snaps. Ailie makes a sad noise and pats his nose with her banana-sticky fingers. “I’m not cross with you, princess, of course I’m not,” says Louis, kissing her cheek and offering her some of his rice. She shakes the fork enthusiastically and rice flies all over the sofa.

 _She’s not a scandal,_ Liam doesn’t say, because if Louis’s annoyed that won’t help. He has a bite of Chinese and then says thoughtfully, “I reckoned it’d be Niall, to be honest.”

Louis snorts. “Niall would just show up with a baby?”

“Some Irish model with enormous tits would show up with a baby and Niall would shrug and say, ‘Y’know, shit happens.’”

Louis laughs properly, and Liam feels his shoulders unclench a little. “One day we’ll turn around and Niall will have fifteen kids and own half of Mullingar, and we’ll all be like, ‘Wait, when did this happen? You didn’t even have a girlfriend a moment ago.’”

“Niall’s the secret sex god in the band, I’m sure of it,” says Liam, grinning at Louis. It’s an old joke, and still one of his favorites. 

“You can’t say ‘secret you-know-what’ in front of a baby,” says Louis, putting his hands over Ailie’s ears.

“No!” Ailie shouts enthusiastically, pulling at Louis’s hands. She wiggles off his lap and onto the floor and then pulls herself to her feet, holding the sofa with both hands.

“Is she walking?” Louis asks, wiping banana mush off the sofa where she’s clutched it.

“She holds on to the sofa and wiggles a lot,” says Liam. “She hasn’t figured out how to let go yet. She was a bit premature when she was born, so she’s littler than she might be, and the doctor said she’d do things a bit later than other babies might.”

“She’ll do things at exactly the right time,” says Louis. Ailie shouts something at both of them. It sounds like she’s fluently speaking some alien gibberish, and Liam gets the sense she’s awfully annoyed they can’t understand her sparkling conversation. “More dinner, sweetheart?”

“No!” Ailie shouts. She reaches for Liam, but then squirms away when he tries to pick her up. She says something, and then says it again, more insistently. It sounds like ‘up,’ but she doesn’t want to be picked up, and shrieks when he tries.

“What’s ‘ubby’?” Louis asks.

“Haven’t the vaguest,” says Liam. 

“Ubby!” Ailie says again, reaching with her little hands, and nearly falls over.

“Puppy!” says Louis triumphantly, grabbing a light-brown cuddly toy dog with big floppy ears that’s lying on the sofa behind Liam. “Ailie, puppy?”

“Ubby,” she says, relieved that the adults have stopped being so completely stupid. Louis hands her the dog and she sits down on the floor, telling the toy some sort of long, complicated story they can’t understand a word of.

“That’s three words,” says Liam, feeling awfully proud. “That’s good for not-quite-a-year old, isn’t it?”

“She’s a genius,” Louis agrees. “She gets that from me, obviously.” Liam laughs and kicks Louis’s foot gently, and Louis eats the rest of his dinner looking awfully smug.

—

Ailie goes to sleep easily, as long as Liam gives her a bath and reads her a story. Louis trails behind Liam as if he’s checking to be sure Liam’s doing things properly. Liam resists the urge to tell him that Liam was doing fine before he arrived, thank you very much. Louis worries about things, and he’s got a special knack with babies, so Liam lets him feel like a supervisor. It’ll make it easier to persuade Louis to go back to Zayn’s, he hopes. 

Ailie falls asleep on the bed, with Liam, and it’s Louis who picks her up and puts her in her cot. Then Louis turns around and crawls back into bed with Liam. Liam’s tired enough that he doesn't even ask why. It’s not weird for Louis to do, anyway. 

“Isn’t she great?” Liam asks.

“She’s perfect,” Louis says. “Are you… I know you said fostering, not adoption. What does that mean, exactly?”

“I’m tired,” says Liam, rolling away from him and toward Ailie. 

“Liam,” says Louis. After a minute he pinches Liam’s side, and Liam doesn’t swear because there’s a sleeping baby in the room, but it’s a near thing. “Liam, I can’t make plans to figure all this out if you don’t tell me. Is this for a week? Or a month? Or…”

“I don’t know,” Liam says. His voice sounds weirdly choked, and his chest hurts. “It’s all… There are lawyers, and doctors, and I’m meant to call them back, but I haven’t.”

“Just playing happy families instead,” says Louis. The mockery in his voice is so gentle that Liam can only hear it through years of practice. Louis's hand goes from pinching to settling on Liam’s hip. It’s warm and heavy and Liam likes it; it feels a bit like an anchor. It’s been a weird week, to be honest.

Ailie snuffles a little in her sleep. Liam likes to be able to hear her breathe. “I have to take her to hospital tomorrow for a check up,” says Liam. “There'll be needles and… And things.”

“It’s a good job she’s got you, then,” says Louis, and his hand tightens on Liam’s hip. _It’s a good job you’ve got me_ , Liam hears. It’s maybe a little strange that Louis put his things in the guest room and then helped himself to Liam’s bed. Liam tries not to think about it. He needs to call Zayn, but he's too tired.

Liam’s eyes are so heavy he can barely keep them open. He can’t imagine how exhausting it’ll be once Ailie learns to walk. He suspects she’ll go straight to running as fast as she can. 

“She’s got three words?” Louis asks quietly. 

“No, and bye, and puppy,” says Liam, being generous about that last one. He yawns and hides his face in the pillow. Louis wants to say something. Liam can feel it. “What?” Liam says finally, since he can’t sleep when he can feel Louis wide awake behind him.

“If she says ‘daddy’ you’ll never be able to give her up,” says Louis, lightly, like a joke. But he isn’t joking, and he isn’t wrong, so Liam squeezes his eyes shut and pretends to be asleep until he finally really is.

—

The first time Liam really sees Ailie fuss is when he carries her into the hospital. She says, “No, no, no, no,” and hides her face in his shoulder. 

“We just need to check up on you, sweetheart,” he says quietly. “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen. Don’t worry.”

Louis, who is rather better at everything, as it turns out, adds, “Don’t worry; I’ve got the puppy,” and gives her her favorite toy. 

The nurse wants Liam to hold Ailie while they take some blood, and she screams and cries like any baby would, but Liam feels it like daggers in his heart. “She’s fine,” Louis says. Liam knows that she is, but he can also hear her sobbing her little heart out, so he just shakes his head. Louis slips his hand into Liam’s and squeezes. 

The doctor comes in, and Ailie says, "Bye bye," tearfully, waving at him. Liam's confused for a minute, but she keeps saying 'bye bye' until he works out that she's trying to make the doctor leave. "It's okay, darling," Liam says, with an awful twinge because he might be lying to her. There are other tests, because Ailie was a preemie, and because they need to keep tabs on her growth, and weight, and reflexes, and blood pressure. She gets to keep clutching her dog through all of it, while Liam clutches her. He's a little afraid to look at her, because he’s sure her eyes will be full of betrayal. 

“Why don’t you sing to her?” Louis asks. He makes an attempt at taking the dog toy and wiping some of the snot and tears off it, but Ailie screams, so he gives it back to her as disgusting as it was before. 

Liam’s so overwhelmed that all he can think of is Baa Baa Black Sheep. He hums it to the top of her head, and it seems to calm her down. She holds her dog out to the nurse and says something that sounds very scolding, shaking the toy at her. Then she goes back to showing the toy to Liam, stroking its fur inexpertly with her chubby fingers.

“Can I see the puppy?” Louis asks, holding out his hands. Ailie scolds him, too, so he pulls a silly face until she giggles. He pretends to try and steal the dog and lets her grab it away from him triumphantly. “Don’t worry, Liam. She’s not cross with you,” Louis says.

Liam looks guiltily at the nurse. “I know.”

“She’s fine,” Louis says. 

“She’s done really well,” the nurse agrees. “She seems very happy. They all cry when you take blood, I’m afraid, but look at her now. She’s a very brave girl, and after this last bit of blood is drawn, she gets a Hello Kitty plaster.”

“Oooh,” says Louis. “Can I have one as well?”

Liam laughs in spite of himself. 

Louis immediately gets louder and more demanding. “I’ll put it on my nose,” he says. “And we’ll get one for the puppy, as well.” Liam snorts at that, and Ailie shrieks at the mention of her puppy, flinging him around with her death grip in his slightly disgusting fur. Somehow Louis has snuck his hand into Liam’s again, because he squeezes their fingers together reassuringly.

“She _cried_ ,” Liam says. “She never cries. I told her she’d be alright, and then—”

“Dad of the year,” says Louis quietly. He looks like he’s going to say something else, but then he changes his mind and leans down to blow a raspberry on Ailie’s cheek. “You’ve been a very good girl, haven’t you? I think we should have ice cream for tea.”

The nurse has to put the last needle in Ailie's arm, and Ailie cries again, but Liam’s a bit more braced for it this time, and anyway he’s got Louis holding on to his shoulder while he holds Ailie. Then they give her a pink plaster, and Liam makes a big show of kissing it, the way his mum used to do for him. “All better,” he says, trying to sound firm. She’s only a baby; she’ll believe him if he sounds like he means it.

“Now do me,” says Louis, holding out his hand for a plaster. The nurse rolls her eyes, but gives him one, putting it on the back of his wrist. “Kiss it better,” Louis demands, holding his hand out to Liam.

There is a terrible funny twist inside Liam’s chest. Ailie’s watching him with big eyes full of tears she hasn’t cried yet. “All better,” Liam says again, and kisses Louis’s hand. 

“Just as I thought; those are magic kisses,” Louis says. “Don’t worry, Ailie. It doesn’t hurt a bit anymore.” He kisses her cheek, and she says something to the dog’s fur, and Liam takes them all home for tea and ice cream.

—

It’s been an exhausting day. Liam lies down on the sofa and Ailie wiggles down on to the floor with her puppy. He’s tired enough that it almost sounds like she’s making sense when she talks. Louis sits at the other end of the sofa and Liam puts his feet underneath Louis’s thigh to warm them up. 

“Have you called your mum?” Louis asks.

“Sort of,” Liam says. 

Ailie shrieks and throws her puppy. Louis picks him up and hands him back to her.

“Have you called the rest of the band?”

“No.” Ailie tosses the puppy again. Louis picks him up.

“You’re ridiculous,” says Louis. He puts his hand around Liam’s ankle, circling it with his fingers and squeezing. Liam pokes Louis with his toes. Ailie says something that might be, “Puppy. Puppy. Puppy!” until Louis hands him back to her. “You have to call everyone. I can’t believe your parents haven’t come down to meet Ailie already.”

“They’re not thrilled,” Liam admits. “It’s a bit strange. It’s not like they’ve got a proper granddaughter, is it?”

“Hmm,” Louis says. He leans on Liam’s bent knees so he can give him a disapproving face. “But it is.”

“You don’t approve. My mum doesn’t approve. The whole thing is probably a bad idea.” Liam says the words, and he knows they should be true, but they don’t _feel_ right. Liam reaches down and plays with Ailie’s curls. Harry would like her, he thinks. He wishes it had been Harry who had come out to check on them. It would have been easier with Harry.

“Who says I don’t approve?” Louis demands, and pinches Liam’s thigh. “It’s amazing, fostering an ill little girl. Better than Captain America. Better than Batman.”

“You’re cross with me,” Liam points out.

“Yeah. You’re an idiot. You didn’t even _phone_ us, and I don’t understand what you think is going to happen when we go back on tour. But what you did is amazing.”

Liam is confused by Louis, but that isn’t anything new. Maybe he’s glad it was Louis who came out after all. He’s being supportive, in a slightly terrifying way. “I don’t want anyone to be cross,” Liam says. “I just… I just want Ailie.”

“Well, too bad. I’m going to give Ailie her bath, and you’re going to make phone calls.”

“You aren’t in charge of me,” Liam says, but Louis just snorts. He pats Liam’s leg and then reaches down for Ailie and her puppy. 

“Say ‘Louis,’” Louis instructs. “‘Loooo-ee.’ C’mon, Ailie, sweetheart. Say ‘Louis.’”

“Abwuf!” she says, or something like it. 

“What a clever little girl,” Louis says, rubbing their noses together, and carries her off to the bath.

Liam thinks about closing his eyes and just napping on the sofa, but it’s not like Louis won't check up on him again. He finds his phone shoved between the cushions and dials Zayn. He’s probably the easiest phone call to make.

“What the fuck!” Zayn says, when he picks up. 

“Okay, a couple of things,” Liam says, wincing. 

“Please tell me the groupie thing is crap,” Zayn says.

“It is.” Liam explains, in very general terms, how he met Ailie and why he’s got her. Zayn hums and asks questions and demands pictures and handles the whole thing a lot better than Liam would have, if the tables were turned. 

“What’s the other problem, then?” Zayn asks. Liam’s promised three times to send pictures of Ailie and apologized roughly five hundred times.

“Uh,” says Liam. “I’m having sort of… I’m having a bit of a Louis problem.”

There is a really long pause. Liam fiddles with a fraying patch on his jeans and hopes Louis closed the door to the bathroom.

“Like, the same one as you used to have?” Zayn asks finally. “Or a new one?”

“Same one as always,” Liam says. “But it’s rather worse when he’s holding my— I mean, a baby.” _My baby_ , Liam thinks, and then pictures Louis singing to her in the bath, and washing her hair, and his heart hurts. It feels a bit like he can’t breathe.

“Babies love him,” Zayn says.

“Ailie certainly does.”

Zayn is clearly looking for the right words. Liam can imagine him fumbling with a cigarette, even though he’s promised Perrie he’ll quit, pulling that face he makes when he’s thinking hard, his eyebrows furrowed together. “Honestly, I think it’s quite natural to fancy a friend,” Zayn says. “I mean, we’ve all… We’re none of us ugly, and we spend so much time together, and we love each other, and it’s not _weird_ , I guess, that you’d have, like, feelings. Especially because you and Louis get on so well, anyway, and Louis… If I were down for a bit of cock, I think I’d go for his.”

“I fancy _girls_ ,” Liam says.

“You fancy girls and Louis,” Zayn replies. “He’s your exception. It’s cool. Perrie’s is Beyonce.”

“She’s fit,” Liam says.

“Yeah, well. So is Lou. I thought we’d worked through this? You fancy him, a little, but you aren’t going to do anything about it, because it'd be awkward for the band. I thought it had gone away.”

“Does that sort of thing go away?” Liam’s poked a hole through the knee of his jeans. “I just don’t think about it, but last night he slept in the same bed as me, and today he’s being so cute with Ailie, and… I’m tired. And it’s a lot.”

“Make him sleep in the guest room.” 

Liam laughs.

“Okay, I know; it’s Louis, he sleeps wherever the hell he wants. So just… It’s temporary, man. Just don’t think about it.”

“Fat lot of help you are,” says Liam, but he feels a bit better. “Anyway, I’ll send you a picture.”

“I’ll come and meet her,” says Zayn. 

“You don’t have to—”

“Of course I do. I’ll bring Harry and Niall. God, they’re trying so hard to help, and like, Harry can not stop flirting with Perrie’s mum, by accident, he swears, and Niall is like, no help at all. Niall doesn’t even know how to take a list down to the shops. He comes back with beer and snacks and just shrugs about it.”

“I miss you guys.”

“It’s been three weeks, you baby. But I miss you, too. Give Ailie a kiss for me, yeah? I’d tell you to give Louis a kiss from me, but—”

“Shut up,” Liam laughs. 

“I mean, kiss him if you want to,” Zayn says. “See you in a few days, okay?”

“Okay,” Liam says. Sometimes he especially misses Zayn, because Zayn is the only one in the band who knows how to be quiet and just _be_. Every now and then Liam needs that quiet. Zayn’s quiet never feels quite as judgmental as Louis’s does. 

He resists the urge to spend five minutes playing the, “I miss _you_ more,” game on the phone with Zayn, and just hangs up. Zayn will tell Harry and Niall what’s up, and Liam expects they’ll call and shout at him, too, but for now it’s sorted. 

He should call his parents. 

He really doesn’t want to call his parents. 

Louis comes out of the bathroom with Ailie, damp and pink-cheeked, in his arms. “When is her birthday?”

“What?” Liam says. “Oh, it’s in a couple of weeks. Eighteenth of December.”

Louis’s eyes go very wide as he turns to Ailie. “We’re birthday twins!”

“No, you aren’t. Your birthday is the twenty-forth.”

“Close _enough_ , Liam,” Louis says impatiently. “I knew you were a clever girl. Having my birthday and all.” He boops Ailie’s nose and she squeals happily and then yawns. “Are you planning a party?”

“Dunno what kind of party a one year old has,” says Liam. “I don’t have any baby friends for her to play with. Should we get her a pony and some balloons and some jelly and ice cream?”

“We should get her the biggest party in the whole world,” says Louis. “One million ponies and every kind of ice cream. You’re rich now, Liam. Think bigger.”

“You’ll spoil her,” Liam says, reaching for Ailie. She reaches back for him, which makes Louis frown, and Liam feel a little smug. She settles perfectly into his arms.

“Yes, of course I will. She had to go to hospital today, and it’s nearly her birthday. Has she got a proper winter coat, and jumpers, and little fuzzy hats?”

The only time Liam’s taken her outside was on the way to and from hospital. “I got her some pink trainers,” he says. 

“Liam,” Louis scolds. 

“I was just going to… Keep her here,” he says. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

“I’m calling Paul,” Louis says, looking for his phone. “We’ll take her shopping tomorrow.”

Ailie is mostly asleep on Liam’s shoulder, even before her bedtime story. “But there might be crowds,” Liam says. “She’ll be scared.”

“Well, you should have flipping thought of that before you went and got a baby, pop star.” Louis sounds terrible and annoyed, right until he says, “Don’t worry. Paul won’t let anything happen to her. You know that.”

“I do,” says Liam. 

“And I want to buy my birthday twin some presents,” Louis says.

Liam has to decide between arguing with Louis — always a good time — and just agreeing with him — always the easier choice. “Right,” he says. “You and Ailie. Exactly the same.”

“She might be the tiniest bit cuter than me,” Louis concedes. “We’ll sneak her to the shops tomorrow, and buy her every fluffy pink thing a little girl could possibly need.” 

Liam rather thinks that Ailie needs more fluffy pink things than could fit in his flat, but that’s alright. “It’ll be a fun recce for you and me,” Liam says.

“Ailie’s first recce,” says Louis, grinning.

—

Liam collapses into bed, more exhausted than he thought he’d be. He falls asleep so quickly he doesn’t have any idea how much later Ailie wakes up, crying; the room is dark, and she’s making little sad noises to herself. “Baby,” Liam croaks.

The door opens. “Go back to sleep,” Louis whispers. 

“Me, or—” Liam asks.

“My poor little darling,” says Louis. Liam’s pretty sure Louis doesn’t mean him. He hears rustling noises and sees the silhouette of Louis picking Ailie up. She’s crying, very quietly. “Is it your nappy? Are you hungry? Bad dream? What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

“She doesn’t answer,” Liam yawns. “I’ve tried. Funny thing about babies.”

“You just don’t listen right,” Louis scolds. “I understand her perfectly. She was lonely. She wants some milk and a cuddle and she’ll be right as rain.” He sings a little song that sounds like “ailie, bailey, gailey, mailey,” as he gets her bottle, and then Louis climbs into bed with Liam and puts Ailie between them. “Where’s her puppy? Liam, you useless lump. Get the puppy.” Louis prods Liam with one of his freezing toes. 

“Useful lump,” Liam grumbles, rolling out of bed to find where the puppy has escaped Ailie’s cot. He climbs back under the covers, most of which Louis has stolen. Ailie is sucking on her bottle, perfectly content again, but she holds out one of her arms for the toy. 

It takes Liam a minute to realize that Louis’s made himself at home, and he’s not going anywhere. It’s just the three of them in bed, and it’s terribly dark and cozy and homey, and Liam’s heart feels a little too heavy for his chest. 

Louis tangles one of his cold feet around Liam’s leg. “Why’s your flat so cold?” he complains. “You can pay for the heat.”

“Ailie and I are fine,” says Liam. 

“Sure,” says Louis, “now that I’m here to warm the place up.” He scooches a little bit closer under the blankets. 

Liam should tell him not to wiggle any closer but he can’t. He doesn’t want to. “We should get a baby book tomorrow,” he says.

“Why do you need one of those? You’ve got me!”

“Just in case.”

Louis kicks him. Ailie, mostly asleep, makes a little protesting noise. The bottle has fallen half out of her mouth. 

“So she’s just sleeping here?” Liam asks. It’s so dark, and so warm under the blankets with Ailie and Louis next to him. 

“Mmm,” says Louis.

“And you as well?” Liam tries to think about what Zayn would say. Zayn would tell him just to not worry about it. He’s shared a bed with Louis loads of times. Just because Louis’s been adorable all day with the baby who is almost Liam’s is no reason for Liam to have feelings. 

“Obviously,” says Louis. He kisses Ailie’s cheek and takes the bottle away to put it on the night stand. “Shh, you’re keeping us all up.”

“Am I?” Liam asks. “Sorry.” Louis pinches him, gently, and then luckily Liam’s too tired to stay awake and think about it, and he drops off to sleep.

—

Liam wakes up with Louis half on top of him and Ailie mysteriously back in her cot. The problem being, of course, that with Louis breathing down his neck, Liam’s cock has got half excited. Liam doesn’t know what to do. 

Ailie makes a quiet little waking up noise, and Liam wiggles gratefully out of bed to get her. She holds up her hands for him and his heart lurches right out of his chest. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” he says, picking her up. He sings, “Good day, sunshine,” quietly while she yawns and grabs his shirt with one slightly sticky little fist. Liam glances over at Louis, starfished across the bed and snoring slightly, and hides a smile in her curls. He could do this every morning.

Liam is making breakfast when Paul comes by. He’s got keys to let himself in, and Liam’s managed eggs and toast and a bowl of Cheerios for Ailie, which she is happily throwing on the floor, one at a time. 

“New member of the band, eh?” Paul says. “Bet she’s less trouble than Tomlinson.”

Liam laughs. “She’s the least trouble ever. She’s an angel,” he says. “Ailie, say good morning to Paul.”

Ailie makes a happy noise and bangs a spoon against the chair. 

Paul stopped being scary about the third minute Liam knew him, when Louis accidentally threw a pen and hit Paul in the face, and Paul glared him down and then rolled his eyes instead of crushing Louis like an insect. He’s never scary to puppies or babies, Liam has learned, and when he pulls a face at Ailie and leans down to waggle his eyebrows at her, she shrieks with delight and tries to pull his nose. 

“Better if we head to the shops early,” Paul says. “You can go in with her while they’re still closed.”

Liam is so relieved that Paul hasn’t called him an idiot or told him he can’t keep Ailie that he just nods. “Good idea, yeah,” he says. “As soon as Louis’s up, we’ll go.”

“We’ll be waiting all day for him,” Paul says. He shouts, “Get your arse up, Tommo!” 

Liam appreciates the sentiment, but is much less appreciative of Louis coming out a few minutes later, shirtless and with his joggers hanging so low on his hips that his arse is half out of them. Ailie shrieks and reaches for him, and his face lights up in a slow, sleepy smile.

“You missed me, didn’t you, sweetheart? Of course you did. Say ‘Louis.’ Say ‘Uncle Louis is my very favorite.’” He picks her up and she kicks and reaches for his face.

“Now that’s adorable,” says Paul. “Get your shirt on. Going to the shops was your idea.”

“I haven’t even had tea.” Louis manages to moan and pull a tragic face so silly that Ailie laughs at him. “How can I go out without tea?”

“I made you some,” Liam says, offering him a mug. Louis turns and smiles at him, pathetically grateful, and Liam in return is pathetically grateful to have made Louis smile like that. He looks down at his bare feet for a second to get his face under control and then back up. “Trade you the baby for the tea.”

“It’s a terrible trade,” says Louis, but he gives Liam Ailie, and takes the mug. Ailie tries to wiggle out of Liam’s arms, kicking and flopping around and scolding him angrily in her not-quite-words.

“What?” Liam asks. “Babe, what do you want?”

Paul snorts. “Amateur,” he says, handing Ailie her bottle. She settles down immediately.

Liam feels his cheeks go pink. He likes being good at things, and he’s good with Ailie, but Louis can make her smile without even trying, and Paul knows exactly what she wants, and all Liam does is put her to bed and carry her around and let doctors make her cry in hospital. He hugs her a little tighter.

—

Paul stands outside a closed shop full of baby clothes and toys while Liam and Louis and Ailie fill up a trolley. “She needs a tiny football shirt that’s pink,” says Louis. “And she needs tiny trainers. And she needs this puffa jacket. And she needs a sun hat.”

“How can she need a puffa jacket and a sun hat?” asks Liam. Ailie keeps reaching for toys and pulling them off the shelf and throwing them into the trolley when Liam’s not looking. 

“Because we tour all over the world, Liam,” says Louis, and his eye roll is audible. “Are you feeling well? You haven’t given me one lecture on the proper temperature to heat a bottle to, or the safest way to put her in her cot.” 

Liam shakes his head at him. The lady who owns the shop is texting on her phone and trying not to stare at them. “I don’t know what to lecture you about,” he says. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I just… She’s so…” 

He’s going to say _perfect_ or _darling_ , but then he notices that Ailie has put four teddy bears in the trolley, and then she grabs a stack of cloth baby books and hurls them all on the floor. 

“She needs a little hat that looks like it's got panda ears on,” Louis says, leaning over to pick up the books. The woman texting on her phone gives them a bit of a dubious look.

“How do you know she even likes pandas?” Liam scolds. “This is why you’re always asking me how you’ve spent hundreds of pounds on nothing.”

“There’s the lecture,” says Louis fondly. “Oh my god, I know what I’m getting her for her birthday!”

“What?” Liam asks, but when he tries to lean over Louis’s shoulder, Louis elbows him away.

Louis yells, “It’s a surprise! You can’t see!”

“It’s not my birthday,” Liam objects. “I want to see.”

“No! You can’t!” Louis is hunched over something looking terribly suspicious. Ailie shouts at him. “Take her over there, go and get her some hats and jumpers and socks, Liam. Shoo.”

Liam sighs loudly, but he carries Ailie to the other side of the shop and lets her throw little pink socks and bibs into the trolley while Louis tries to buy something furtively. “Look at this one,” Liam says, holding up a set of socks. “These have got rubber on the bottom for better traction when you start walking. You’re going to start walking soon, aren’t you? And we’ve got to be careful and make sure you don’t slip.”

“There’s another lecture,” Louis yells. He sounds pleased about it. Liam shakes his head. 

“It’s not a lecture,” Liam tells Ailie, pulling a bit of a pouty face. “It’s just safety. Safety first, obviously.”

“Yes, _obviously_ ,” says Louis. He’s got his shopping bag in one hand and he drapes himself over Liam’s back, wiggling his fingers in Ailie’s face until she reaches for them. He’s awfully warm. 

Liam tries to sound disapproving when he says, “We’re buying half the shop. She’s only one baby.”

“She’s the most important baby,” Louis says, bopping her lightly on the nose. “We should buy her the entire shop.”

“Are you ever going to get more sensible with your money?” Liam asks. 

“No,” says Louis. “Why should I?”

“Because it would be _sensible_ ,” Liam says.

Louis digs his rather pointy chin in to Liam’s shoulder. “You’ve only been a dad a couple of days, don’t you try and lecture me, kiddo.”

Ailie pulls on a display of colorful blocks and throws them all over the floor with a delighted shriek. “Ailie, no. Sweetheart, you mustn’t,” Liam says.

“What fun’s a recce if we don’t mess the place up a bit?” Louis demands. “High five, Ailie. High five!” He holds his hand up for her and she hits it — possibly by accident — with hers. “Look at that! She’s a genius. She high-fives better than Harry does.”

“We’re sorry,” Liam tells the shop lady. “We’re really sorry. We’ll pick it up.”

“We’ll buy it,” Louis corrects him. “I’m buying her everything. If she threw it on the floor she must like it.”

Liam’s flat is going to end up full to the ceiling of baby toys, but he can’t really tell Louis no, and he certainly can’t tell Ailie no. He kisses her cheek and sings her a little Justin Timberlake while Louis gives the shop lady his credit card again. 

—

Ailie likes her new jacket, and she likes her new hat with panda ears, and she likes it when Louis pretends to steal her nose. They all get coffee and Paul holds Ailie for a while, saying things to her Liam can’t quite make out in his deep, gruff voice. Whatever it is, Ailie is delighted. 

“I’ve never seen such a happy baby,” says Louis, elbowing Liam in the side. 

“I made her cry yesterday,” Liam says. 

“That was doctors and needles. If she’s ill, it’s not your fault.”

Liam shrugs and wishes he were as certain about that as Louis is. “I remember those needles, is the thing, and all those endless trips to the doctor, and hating those plastic chairs in the waiting rooms. I just don’t want her to feel like that.”

“You can’t help that she has to go and get blood drawn,” Louis says. “What’s she actually got? Wrong with her, I mean.”

Liam bites back the urge to say, _nothing._ “She’s got multicystic kidney disease,” he says, very carefully pronouncing all the syllables correctly. “They’ve got to check her blood pressure and see if she’s got a urinary tract infection, and because she was born a bit early she's anemic and they're not sure her vision is very good."

"That all sounds quite serious," says Louis.

"It might be. Depends. They've just got to check up on her loads. I've got a social worker coming round tomorrow to check on me." 

Louis makes a suspicious noise and drinks his coffee. "You said something about lawyers, as well."

Liam needs to make a decision about what he wants to tell the lawyers; fostering, or adoption, or… He can't even really make himself think 'give Ailie back.' "I need to work out some things," he says vaguely, and hopes Louis won't ask about it again.

Louis obviously asks, "What things?"

"Legal… things," says Liam. 

"Oh, Liam," Louis sighs. "I'll call them later, shall I?"

"No, that's alright—"

Louis has already walked over to the car where Paul and Ailie are waiting. "'Louis,'" he coaxes. "C'mon, Ailie. 'Looooouis.'"

"Paul's easier," says Paul. 

"Bah!" says Ailie. Paul looks smug.

Louis takes her and hands Paul his empty coffee. "That was just a nonsense noise," he says. "You wait until she says Louis. Then you'll see who's her favorite."

It makes Liam feel warm all over, watching the two of them smile at Ailie and bicker fondly. It's so nice, honestly, that it makes Liam feel almost ill. He doesn't know what to do about it; it would be so much easier if Louis left, but it would also be awful. 

—

Liam's door is unlocked, which is weird, and then he walks in with Ailie on his hip and there's Zayn and Harry and Niall sat on the sofa. "What are you doing here?" Liam asks dumbly. "I thought you were coming in like, a week!"

"We were in Bradford, Liam. Not on the moon," says Zayn. He looks good; there's something glowing about him. The closer they get to the wedding the happier he seems all the time. Zayn gets up and comes over, with Harry and Niall on his heels. They look a little tired, actually, and Liam feels a bit guilty that they're distracted during this stressful time by him.

"Why didn't we get to vote on having a new band member?" Niall demands.

Zayn holds out his fingers and brushes them up and down on Ailie's cheek. "Hello, babe," he says. "Nice to meet you, sweetheart."

Harry looks curious and potentially disapproving; Niall is making a truly skeptical face. Behind him, Liam knows Louis is rolling his eyes a bit. But this is what Liam really wants; he wants the band to meet Ailie, and love her, and tell him everything is okay. "This is Ailie," he says. He feels shy, like the first time he met them, and he had to introduce himself, and he didn't know if they'd seen his first X-Factor audition or not, or if they'd be friends or not. "Ailie, this is everyone."

"I'm not everyone," Niall objects. He pretends to scowl.

Zayn is still holding out a finger to Ailie, and she grabs it and makes a delighted noise. Then Liam realizes she's reaching for the zip on the sleeve of his leather jacket. "She likes those," he says, almost apologetically.

"Of course she does; she's got style," says Louis. He pushes past Liam. "You can all have a turn holding her, if you'd like. Liam needs to tell me things."

"I do?" Liam asks.

Harry helps himself to the baby. "You're cool," he says, holding his hand up for a high-five. Ailie flails at him a bit.

"It was my turn!" Zayn objects.

"Bagsy the baby," says Harry quickly, and grins, and Niall tries to elbow him aside. Zayn grabs a toy off the floor and starts shaking it and calling Ailie's name. It's so _nice_. Then Louis grabs Liam's hand and drags him into the kitchen.

Louis has his stern face on. "What?" Liam asks. "I didn't do anything."

"Lawyers," Louis prompts. "And doctors. And a social worker. What are we planning for, here?"

Liam feels about four different things at once. "You don't have to, I can handle it," he says, instead of throwing himself on Louis for a hug.

Louis puts his hand over Liam's mouth, and half of Liam's face. "You're talking rubbish." 

"She's my baby, I'll handle it," says Liam, pushing Louis's hand off.

"You're such a dick," says Louis. Liam doesn't understand why he's so angry. He hasn't done anything to Louis. He wishes he were holding Ailie; Louis doesn't seem to shout at him as much when he has Ailie in his arms.

"Okay," Liam says, holding his hands up. "The social worker comes tomorrow, and she wants to see the flat and how we look after Ailie. She'll decide if I get to keep her."

Louis's face goes sharp. "Keep her…" he prompts. "For a week? For a month? Forever?"

Liam feels ill again. "One of those," he mumbles. He wants her so badly, but having the band there, and Paul, is making it pretty real that he can't pretend the rest of his life will be an easy place to have a baby. Those two days with just him and Ailie were so much simpler.

"You need to think really hard and make a lot of decisions," says Louis sternly. "I can't help, if you're just faffing about. This isn't just your life you've got to think about."

"I know, it's Ailie's as well—"

"It's all of ours, Liam. What does it mean for the band? Did you even _consider_ …" Louis cuts himself off. "Tell me what the lawyers need to know."

"What I want to do about Ailie, like, long term. If I'm applying for adoption." Liam looks at his trainers. He's old enough to look after Ailie; why isn't he old enough to stare down Louis? His stomach twists. He doesn't like feeling like he's disappointed anyone. Especially not Louis. It's rubbish. 

"And what do you want?"

"I don't know." That's a lie. He wants to keep Ailie forever, obviously. But not if it'll hurt the band. He doesn't mind giving things up himself, but if he ruined something for Zayn or Harry or Niall, it'd be awful. So he can't say it, and he can't lie and say he doesn't mind giving her up, either.

Louis says, "Fuck, Liam. And you need to call your parents." He sounds scolding, and then he reaches out and grabs Liam's hand and holds on to it, putting his fingers through Liam's and squeezing. "It's a lot." 

"I can't right now," Liam says. His voice has gone very small. "Okay?"

"We'll talk about it later," says Louis, a bit stern and threatening, but then he wraps himself around Liam and gives him a hug that makes Liam feel like he can breathe again. They just stand like that for a long minute, Louis holding on and Liam trying not to cry, because what is there even to cry about?

Then Louis disentangles himself and gives Liam a shove toward the living room. Harry is sat on the sofa with Ailie standing on his lap, hands on his shoulders. Harry looks up with a delighted smile. "We both like bananas," he says, as if he has discovered the deep wisdom of the universe.

"She smells better, though," says Niall. "Has anyone bagsied favorite uncle yet?"

"I have," says Louis. "Don't even think about it."

"Can we fit a cot on a tour bus? Do they make cots for tour buses?" Zayn asks Paul. "What did we have for Lux?" 

"They must do," says Paul. He's been making some sort of security arrangements so Liam and Ailie can go out, in case Liam ever wants to leave the flat again. Liam's not sure he does.

"Say 'Harry,'" Harry says. "Can you say 'Harry'?'"

If everyone carries on behaving as if it's all perfectly normal and they're definitely going to survive, then maybe Liam can carry on for a few more hours without collapsing, too. "Give her the puppy and you'll be her new favorite uncle," he says, tossing the toy to Zayn. Zayn and Louis get in a little fight over who's going to get to give it to Ailie, while Harry and Ailie share a banana, and Niall and Paul call Lou to find out what she did with Lux. Liam sits on the sofa with them feeling overwhelmed and happy and like maybe, maybe, he shouldn't have been so scared to call them in the first place.

—

Harry doesn't surrender Ailie easily, but Louis somehow claims jurisdiction, and wanders off with her for dinner, and Niall goes with them because they're talking about food, and then Zayn scooches over on the sofa so he can put his arm around Liam's shoulders. Liam leans in gratefully.

"She's really sweet," Zayn says.

"Yeah," Liam says. 

"Didn't figure you'd turn up with a baby out of the blue. Niall, maybe."

"That's what I told Louis," Liam says. He likes Zayn's arm around his shoulder, and he likes that he can't see Zayn's face, just in case he looks disapproving.

Zayn taps his fingers on Liam's shoulder. "Things are a bit funny with you and Louis, eh?"

"I told you," Liam says. He glances toward the kitchen to see if Louis is looking, but he's not. Hopefully he won't hear his name and come popping back in. 

"Is he gonna stay here with you and Ailie?"

"Dunno."

Zayn sighs. "If he is, you should probably talk to him."

Liam plays with the hem of his shirt. He hums to himself. Jay-Z isn't really appropriate for Ailie but it's stuck in his head anyway. 

"Okay, so we're not talking about this," Zayn says. "Got it. How about Ailie? Are we talking about her?"

"She's great," Liam says. "Isn't she great?"

"Yeah. Look, don't take this the wrong way, but I talked to you a week ago, and you weren't planning to be a dad."

Liam fidgets more. "It just happened."

"I don't know that this is the sort of thing that ought to just happen, though—"

Louis walks in holding Ailie up against his shoulder. She squeals and reaches for Liam, who takes her gratefully, because she's a nice distraction.

"Serendipity," Louis says. "Right, Liam?"

"Okay," Liam agrees. That was one of the words on his calendar last year, but he doesn't remember what it means.

"He can't help what was just meant to be, Zayn," Louis says.

"I know what it means," Zayn grumbles. "Hello, darling." He wiggles his fingers at Ailie and she reaches for them. 

Louis has his arms crossed. "It was just fate. Liam happened to meet Ailie, and Ailie happened to meet Liam."

Liam looks up at him, frowning. He was just having a strop about Ailie; now he's suddenly defending Liam to Zayn? It's bizarre. 

"I'm very happy for both of them," says Zayn. "But maybe it's something we should have all had a chat about before it became permanent and changed everything for everyone—"

"It's not," Liam croaks. They turn and look at him. "It's not permanent. I'm just fostering her."

Louis's face goes through several different feelings and Liam isn't sure what all of them are, but he lands squarely somewhere between "sympathy" and "stubborn," which is an expression Liam's used to seeing on Louis. "You haven't made a decision yet," Louis says.

"So we can talk about this," Zayn says.

"Liam will make a decision and we'll all support him," Louis says fiercely.

Liam really, really loves him. It's awkward, because they're supposed to be best mates, but the feeling in Liam's chest isn't friendship. He tries to ignore it, focusing on holding Ailie's hands so she can stand on his lap. He sings her a little bit of No Doubt under his breath and helps her dance. 

"Of course we will," Zayn says. "Jesus, Louis. Back off. I didn't say send her off to the orphanage." He leans over and kisses Liam's cheek and then looks up at Louis and has some kind of silent conversation, before he goes into the kitchen where Niall and Harry are fighting about who's cooking dinner.

"You don't have to do that," Liam says. Ailie stomps up and down and comes awfully close to stomping on his crotch; he tries to scoot her backward, and she grabs his hair with one hand and shouts happily. 

"She's yours," Louis says. "We'll all go along with you whatever you decide."

There are about eight things Liam wants to say, from "thanks," to "I love you." He kisses Ailie's cheek instead, and then pretends he's eating her ear so she giggles and squirms away. "Say 'thanks, Uncle Louis.'" He pitches his voice way up high to pretend to be her. "Thanks, Uncle Louis!"

Louis rolls his eyes and looks pleased. "Yeah, anything for you, Ailie my darling. Tell your dad to get off his arse and come help us make dinner."

Liam laughs. "As if Harry'd let me touch the pots once he's cooking."

Louis throws himself onto the sofa next to Liam. "Okay, let's stay here and let those bums do all the work, then." He snuggles up to Liam's arm so he can give Ailie her puppy. "This is alright."

"It's fine," Liam agrees, and doesn't let his chest feel too small for his heart when Louis plays with Ailie.

—

After dinner Harry wins rock scissors paper for the right to put Ailie to bed, and when he gets back, Liam gets the sense they're having a band meeting and he's the subject. He tries to put a good face on it, claps his hands and says, "Alright, lads, let's get this over with, shall we? Who's got a complaint? Who wants to shout at me about something?"

"Shut up," says Louis, bumping Liam with his hip. 

"You can't shout at me, you'll wake the baby," Liam points out. "So there." He crosses his arms. He wonders if it makes him look serious and hard. He suspects he looks sulky.

"Shut up, you're so stupid," Niall says. He puts his arms around Liam and hugs him with grim determination, even when Liam tries to shake him off. It's hard to shake Niall off, is the thing.

"She's lovely, Liam," Harry says. "You'd never know her kidney was poorly, she's such a happy little thing."

It's hard for Liam to remember he's supposed to be fierce and cross when he's got Niall hanging off him like an Irish koala. It's especially hard when Harry's said something nice about Ailie, who is obviously the best baby in the entire world. 

"She needed someone to take her home," Liam tries to explain. "She didn't have anyone."

"Superman," says Louis. He sounds like he means it to be mocking, but can't quite manage it. Liam grins at him. Louis grins back, and then rolls his eyes, and tries not to look proud of himself.

"If you want us to, we'll figure something out," Zayn says.

Suddenly Liam can barely hold himself up, let alone himself and Niall. He doesn't deserve friends like these. He didn't know there _were_ friends like these. "Don't – Christ, don't, I'm not trying to split up the band or anything, I just—"

"We didn't offer to split up the band for you, you twat," says Niall into his neck. "If you try to fucking quit I'll beat you to death."

Liam attempts to look chastised, but it's a bit difficult when he's so fond of Niall. "I won't, then," he says. If he can't do the easiest thing and step out of the band, he'll have to think about… But he can't make himself really even think the words _give Ailie up_. Who'll hold her at the doctor's when she has to get blood drawn? Who'll make sure she gets the puppy toy she likes best? 

"Liam was already a middle-aged dad when we met him on X-Factor," Harry says. 

"I take that as a compliment, coming from a knucklehead like you," Liam replies promptly. 

Louis claps his hands twice. "We've got a social worker coming in the morning, so we need to go to bed. All of you can go and stay at Harry's. His flat is spotless, 'cause no one lives there."

"Hey," says Harry. And then he stops, because it's true.

"We aren't invited to stay here?" Zayn asks, quirking an eyebrow.

Liam starts to say yes, of course they are. "No," says Louis. "Of course not. The social worker doesn't want unwashed boys sleeping in Liam's flat while he's trying to raise a baby. I'll phone you after she goes tomorrow and you can come by. Don't bother bringing presents, because I've already bought Ailie everything she could possibly want."

" _Why_ can't I bring presents?" Harry asks, getting his stubborn face on. "I will if I like."

Louis shoos Niall and Zayn and Harry toward the door. Liam's not entirely sure when Louis took over his entire life. Probably at their first band meeting, when they'd all decided that it would be cool if they dressed like Louis. Liam can't remember winning an argument with Louis since then.

"We ought to tidy," says Louis, after he's made the rest of them leave. "Social workers want to see a tidy and hygienic flat for a baby."

"How do you know that?" Liam asks, even though he's fairly sure Louis's right.

"I've been googling it on my phone," says Louis. "Go and do the washing up; I'll put the toys away."

Liam can't help himself. " _You'll_ put the toys _away_?"

"Go fuck yourself," says Louis without any heat. Liam laughs, and Louis looks proud of himself and a little smug. Just as he should.

—

Louis doesn't offer to leave before the social worker comes by. He should, probably, and Liam thinks about suggesting it, but then he gets a cold creeping terror in his fingers and his toes at the thought of facing a social worker alone, and sings to Ailie instead. She quite likes Justin Timberlake's early solo songs, although she's a bit undecided on Kanye. Liam can work on that. 

The best moment so far – and there have been several, but this is the top by a long way – happens as Liam is holding Ailie in one arm and trying to get her a bowl of Cheerios with the other. He's singing a bit of Ellie Goulding, and then Louis comes over and takes the box out of his hand and pours it so it won't go all over the floor, and starts harmonizing. Liam grins at him, and Louis goes up for a high note and his voice cracks, and they both laugh. Ailie puts his little hands together and claps enthusiastically.

"Can you say 'replay,' darling?" Liam asks. It's an old joke, but Louis still grins.

"She won't say replay until after she's learnt to say Louis. Louis has to be the next word."

"Puppy," Ailie says, ignoring them both to reach for the toy on the floor. She wiggles demandingly until Liam puts her on the floor, and then crawls over to the puppy. 

"He needs a name," says Liam. "Can't just keep calling him puppy."

"Thor?" Louis suggests. "Loki's brother?" 

Liam crouches on the floor. "Can you say 'Thor,' Ailie? Is that puppy called Thor?"

"Puppy," says Ailie, holding the toy out to him.

"Thank you," says Liam gravely. He takes Thor the puppy, and then hands him back to Ailie, who coos delightedly. 

Louis puts his hand on Liam's shoulder. "Are you nervous about today?"

"Of course," Liam says. It's not much use to lie to Louis. "What if the social worker comes in and then takes Ailie away with her?"

"Then I'll distract her and you grab Ailie and run out the back," says Louis. 

Liam turns his head to look over his shoulder at Louis, and for just a second he thinks about grabbing him and kissing him, because he's not sure how to say thank you otherwise. It's such a _big_ thank you; for being around, for being so confident, for making Liam laugh when things are actually quite scary. 

He tries to imagine the social worker coming in and seeing him snogging the face off his bandmate – even if Louis were up for it – and all he can imagine is her look of shock and horror as she grabs Ailie and storms out. It's even less of an option than usual. He needs to be his most responsible, stodgy, boring self.

"She's covered in muck from the floor," says Liam. "I'm going to go and clean her up. If the social worker comes, can you just—"

"I'm offended," says Louis, without even hearing the end of Liam's sentence. "You _know_ I'm the most charming person you know."

"Charming arsehole," says Liam, picking Ailie up. He needs to get out of the room and get a little space from Louis. 

He spends quite a while persuading Ailie to give up Thor so he can wash her hands, and she scolds him while he does it. Then he spends a while on a game he's just invented, where he puts the flannel over her head and she pulls it off again, laughing, and he puts it back. It is, apparently, the greatest game ever invented, at least according to Ailie. 

Then the doorbell chimes and Liam's heart sinks through his feet. "I love you, alright?" he says quietly to Ailie. She pulls on his hair. "If you were Louis, that would mean you love me, too," Liam says, and kisses her cheek.

The social worker is a nice woman called Michelle, not the sort of terrifying old woman Liam had imagined her to be. She is polite enough, maybe even a little charmed by Louis, and she likes Liam's flat and the way he's put plastic corners on all the tables so Ailie won't bump herself when she starts walking. 

But in the end, it comes down to exactly the same question Liam's been trying not to answer all week. "Can you honestly think you can look after a baby when you'll be off traveling the world in a couple of months?" she asks. She's got a clipboard and a sensible bun, and the look on her face tells Liam that she's already decided against him. 

He holds Ailie a little bit more tightly. "I can look after her," he insists. "I can – You’ve got no idea how seriously I take this. It's not a whim; I was poorly as a kid, too, I know how scary it is. And I can afford to look after her, I can afford to get _anything_ for her. Without spoiling her, obviously," he adds, in case he sounds like a jackass popstar who thinks money can solve all his problems. 

"She's poorly, she deserves a little bit of spoiling," Louis says quietly, and taps his shoe against Liam's. 

"And you'd take an ill little girl around the world?" asks Michelle.

There's no right answer to that question, Liam knows. He's not the cleverest person to ever live, but if he says 'no' then she'll ask if he's going to quit the band, and if he says 'yes' then she'll want to know why he doesn't have Ailie's best interests in mind. 

"If her doctor said it was alright," Liam says finally. "If it was safe. If she could be looked after the whole time."

Michelle looks skeptical anyway. "And what about the groupies, and the drugs, and the wild parties—"

Louis hoots with laughter. "Boy, have you got the wrong lad," he says. "Liam's in bed by eight when we've got days off on the road. I had a loud party once, and he called security to shut me down."

"That was _ages_ ago," Liam says, turning pink. He hadn't meant for Paul to go and shout at Louis, he'd just wanted to be able to sleep.

"Our makeup lady's daughter has been on tour with us literally since before she was born," Louis goes on. "And she's fine. We've got built-in babysitting, and the best security in the world."

Ailie chooses this moment to start clapping happily and shaking Thor up and down. Liam blows a raspberry on her cheek, and she giggles and then leans into him with a yawn. He hopes Louis was serious about creating a diversion; he'd rather run out the back and live a life as a fugitive than give her up. 

"It's not ideal," says Michelle, and shakes her head. "I've got loads of questions. I'll be here every couple of days; I'll need to talk to everyone on your staff. I'll need to meet your entire crew; I'll need access to all sorts of things I'd imagine your contract might not allow for."

"Of course," says Liam quickly. "Anything you need."

She nods. "And you?" she asks Louis. 

"And me what?" Louis asks. "I'm in the band, I can vouch for Liam. I've got a million little sisters and I babysit all of them. We'll look after Ailie."

"So you're here as a supportive friend?" Michelle asks, raising an eyebrow.

"And favorite uncle," Louis says. He holds his hand out to Ailie and she reaches for it half-heartedly, but she's sleepy and clutching Liam's shirt with her other hand. Louis looks up at Liam, and Liam smiles gratefully at him. 

Michelle doesn't sound certain, but she says, "It's nice you've got a good network of friends. What about your family?"

Liam winces. "It's—"

"They love Ailie, they're chuffed to be grandparents," says Louis firmly. "Yeah, Liam?"

"Yeah," says Liam, because what else can he say? He needs to call his parents. They were a bit shocked, but they'll meet Ailie and they'll come around. He's sure of it. They have to.

"I'd like to talk to them as well," says Michelle.

Liam feels a bit ill, but Louis is still making a fiercely determined face at him. "Yeah," Liam says. "Of course. They're in Wolverhampton at the moment, but they're coming down to meet Ailie. Obviously." He hopes he doesn't sound like a liar. He hopes he's not a liar. 

After she goes, Louis follows Liam into the bedroom, watching as Liam puts Ailie into her cot for a nap. 

"You want to keep her," Louis says quietly.

Liam just nods. Ailie's got a little sleepsuit with penguins on, and it's her favorite. Or it's Liam's favorite. Ailie might not know she's got favorites, yet. 

"Okay," says Louis. "We can make that happen. Shall I call the label, and the lawyers?"

"What if I can't?" Liam asks. He knows he isn't supposed to put toys or pillows or blankets in the cot with Ailie, not until she's at least a year old, but it feels a bit mean leaving her all alone. "Keep her, I mean."

"If you and me can go from being just some kids who auditioned for X-Factor to this," Louis says, "then we can do anything. You believe that, right? You're the most optimistic person I know."

"Yeah, but…" Liam doesn't say, _We went through a lot of shit first. Loads of things that didn't work out._

"Yeah but nothing," says Louis.

Liam thinks about kissing him again. Why is life so complicated? he wonders. Being famous and being photographed and traveling the world is all he's ever wanted, but now it makes having Ailie hard. It makes having Louis hard, too, although he'd never have met Louis if it weren't for the rest of it. And Louis doesn't want him in return, so it doesn't matter. It's just… It's a mess.

"Can you call the label?" Liam asks. "I can't even quite work up to calling my mum and dad."

Louis smiles like he was waiting for Liam to say that. "Yeah," he says. "Of course." He squeezes Liam's hand and goes off to get his phone. Liam's excited and scared and a bit uncertain of how to feel, all at once, but he looks at Ailie and knows he'll just have to find a way to muddle through. 

—

"I'm taking her to the park," Louis says in the morning. He slept on top of Liam all night. Liam's not thinking about it. It's not a thing. "Harry's handling Zayn for a bit, but Niall and Paul and me are taking Ailie to the park." He takes Ailie out of Liam's arms as if they've both agreed to that.

"I'm not invited?" Liam asks, mildly affronted.

"You're calling your mum," says Louis. "If you haven't done it by the time I get home, I'm taking Ailie and I'm going to my mum's."

It sounds like they're married. Liam wonders, if he and Louis were married, would they fight? Would Louis threaten to go home to his mum's in a strop? Probably, he thinks. "That's kidnapping," Liam says.

"Bah," says Louis. "Go and get your phone. I made you some tea. I'm not coming back unless you text me your mum and dad are coming to visit and meet their granddaughter."

"She isn't…" Liam starts, and the words die in his throat. He still can't make himself believe he's going to keep Ailie, not with Michelle coming by every other day, and his crazy life on the road. But he can't deny her, either. "You made me tea?"

Louis rolls his eyes. "I even put all your disgusting sugar in it. You aren't teaching Ailie to take her tea like that. I'm going to teach her how real princesses drink tea."

Liam sits down at the kitchen table and thinks that Louis shouts at him a lot for someone who's made him his tea just the way he likes it. "They don't understand," he says. "We're traditional, us. It's hard to explain to them."

"They love babies and they love you," says Louis firmly. "Stop whinging. We'll be back later. Say 'bye bye,' Ailie."

"Bye bye!" Ailie says. She waves frantically. 

"Good girl," says Louis, high-fiving her. 

After they leave, Liam turns his phone over and over in his hand while he drinks his tea. He tried calling when he first met Ailie at hospital, and they seemed upset. Liam hates upsetting them. He just wants everything to be easy, but nothing has been easy all week. He takes a deep breath.

The phone only rings once before his mum picks up. "Liam! It's about time."

"Sorry, mum," he says. He can hear his own accent getting thicker just speaking to her. He wants Ailie to sound a bit Brummie when she speaks. "Things here have been a bit mad."

There's a pause. She knows, then. Ruth will have told them and shown them whatever pictures were in the tabs. Liam doesn't know what to say. Eventually his mum tries, "Was it a girl, darling? On the road somewhere? I'm sure it must be difficult, being out all on your own all the time, and if there was a nice girl you met somewhere—"

"Mum, no," says Liam, shaking his head even though he knows she can't see. "I was doing charity work at a hospital. She hasn't got parents, but she's not mine."

"The Daily Mail thinks she is." His mum sounds concerned.

"The Daily Mail thinks loads of rubbish," he counters. "I'm telling you, I met her at a hospital, and she's not mine. But… But she will be, if I can manage it with the lawyers."

There. He's said it. He waits.

"I just don't understand," says his mum. She's crying; he can hear it clearly. "You're so young. If she's not yours, why would you…"

"Because I met her, and I love her, and she needs me," says Liam helplessly. "There isn't anything else, Mum. I promise. She's poorly, and I couldn't let her stay in hospital. Not if I could help."

"There's millions of kids, though, aren't there?"

"Come and meet her," Liam says. He's pleading. "Please, mum. You and dad come and meet her. You'll love her."

His mum is full-on crying. Liam has to put the phone down for a moment. He takes a deep breath and counts to five before he picks it up again. "What have we done that would make you do something so rash?" she asks. "You're supposed to meet a nice girl, and have a wedding, and then have a baby."

"I can still do that," Liam says.

"Isn't your life difficult enough, without…? Oh, it's very nice of you, sweetheart, but I'm worried. Of course I am. How could I not be?"

"You don't have to be." Liam's got an awful headache. "Please come and meet her. You and Dad can come down tomorrow; it's Saturday. You'll love her, I promise."

"It's not like adopting a dog, Liam."

"I _know_."

Well. Apparently they're stuck. "I love you," Liam says, because he does.

She cries for a while longer. Liam finishes his tea and puts the mug in the sink. She's still crying. He wonders how it's possible that Ailie cries less than his mum does. Then he feels guilty for thinking that.

"I just want you to come and meet her," Liam says again. "Please, Mum. I'd like to see you and Dad this week, anyway. Please will you come down?"

"I'll talk to him," she says. "We were going for tea at the Connors' tomorrow."

Liam is so rarely frustrated with his parents like this that he's not sure what to do. He puts his hand on his forehead and gives himself a little massage. He wishes Louis were there. Louis is a genius with parents. "Mum, _please_."

"Alright," she says. She's still crying. Sometimes he thinks Harry is right, and she's been crying since the day he auditioned for X-Factor. "We can take the coach."

"I'll send a car for you," he says.

"Don't be silly. What should we… What's her name? Tell me again."

A tiny sliver of hope cracks through Liam's chest. "Ailie," he says. "Please come and meet her."

"Okay," says his mum. She tells him about the garden, and how it's so cold outside but his dad has been putting down peat over the flower beds anyway, and how she's worried he'll catch a cold. Liam listens with half an ear, because it's always the same thing, and he's more worried about where Louis's taken his baby. He needs her back, so his parents can meet her.

By the time Louis and Niall come back with Ailie, Liam's tidied the kitchen and the living room and called both his sisters. Ruth's excited about Ailie; Nic's a bit confused. Neither of them sob at him for an hour, though, so it's a win.

"Having a baby is fucking exhausting," says Niall. "Good luck to you." 

"How'd it go?" Louis asks. Liam takes Ailie, who is covered in mud and delighted about it.

"They're coming tomorrow. I need to invest in tissues. Mum cried the whole conversation." He could roll his eyes, but he also loves her, and he's nervous and excited, all at once. 

The look on Louis's face says he understands. "We'll handle it," he says.

Ailie pats Liam's cheek with her muddy hand. "Bleh," Liam says. "Let's get you clean again. How did she get so dirty?"

"She's very short, and she's near the mud," says Louis. "She likes getting dirty like a real footballer."

"Louis, she's a _girl_ ," says Liam.

Louis sighs loudly. "Honestly, I can take you all over the world but you're still Liam from Wolverhampton in your heart, aren't you?"

"I know girls can play football," Liam says defensively. "I just meant… I just meant ugh, you got her all dirty. C'mon, Ailie." He carries her to the sink again. 

"No," says Ailie. "Noooooo."

"I'm calling the label about a lawyer!" Louis shouts. "Is it Ailie with an 'a' or an 'e'?"

Liam can't remember. "Can't remember," he says, trying to get her chubby, muddy fist under the water. "No!" Ailie insists, splashing him all over.

"You donut," says Louis. "Niall, have you got something to throw at him?"

"I'm lying down," says Niall, sprawling on the sofa. "You two can bicker like old marrieds without me." 

"How can you not know how to spell her name, Liam?" Louis says, outraged.

Liam shrugs and hold's Ailie's hand under the water while she protests at the top of her voice. "I don't know how to spell loads of things. I think it's an 'a.'"

"You think," Louis repeats. "You _think_."

Liam pats Ailie's hands dry and starts on her face with a damp flannel, but she twists around like an eel, shrieking "no, no, no!" and making him feel like a monster. "I'm pretty sure. Can you – Ailie, sweetheart, just let me—"

"Nooooo," she says, starting to cry. Liam gives her face one more careful rub and then takes her out of the sink for a cuddle, mud or no mud. She sobs against his chest and he gets the funniest feeling, like he needs to build a bubble for just the two of them, so she never has to cry again. 

Louis says quietly, "It's fine, Liam. She's tired. Put her down for a nap." All the outrage is gone from his voice.

"She's upset," Liam says. "She's _crying_."

"She's a baby!" Niall yells from the sofa. "They cry."

"Mine doesn't," says Liam, just loudly enough for Ailie to hear him. "Shall we take a nap, sweetheart? Would that make you feel better?"

"No," says Ailie sadly, and yawns through her hiccupping tears. It hurts Liam's heart. 

"A nap, I think. We'll just try." He carries her into the bedroom, while behind him Louis is telling Niall _something_. Probably what a bad idea this is. How Liam can't even handle Ailie when he's at home, let alone on the road. 

He puts her in her cot, but she screams and holds her arms up for him, so he picks her up again and settles her in bed with him, on his chest. She cries until he starts to sing, as low as he can. The rumbling through his chest seems to calm her, so he keeps singing until her eyes fall shut, one of his hands rubbing gentle circles on her back.

When her breath evens out and he's sure she's asleep, he looks up and there's Louis, standing in the doorway. "You're so good with her," says Louis. He's almost whispering. Liam appreciates it.

"She's so upset," Liam whispers back.

"But you love her," says Louis. "And she knows. So it's fine."

Liam shakes his head. It can't be fine, when Ailie's so unhappy. He imagines he'll get used to it; she'll be sad sometimes, and eventually it'll stop feeling like such a gut punch. But right now it's awful, and he feels like a rubbish pretend dad. And even Louis being kind about it isn't really helping.

"Sent Niall home. Talked to some people at the label. It's Ailie with an 'a,'" says Louis. He sits down on the bed. "Everyone's pretty sure we can make this work, Liam. As long as you want us to."

Ailie's so tiny, and her fists are clenched with rage even while she sleeps. "I do," Liam says, and it feels like a lock in his chest has broken open, and now everything might fall to pieces. "But it's scary to say that. What if I… What if it doesn't…?"

"You will. It will." Louis smiles a little, and then his face goes sharp and playfully disapproving. "I'm still furious you didn’t call us, or tell us. You know that, right?"

Liam nods.

"Well. Alright then. As long as you know." Louis brushes his fingers over the back of Ailie's hand. Liam thinks about kissing him again. It's becoming a habit, almost; Louis does something unbearably sweet with Ailie, and Liam thinks he'd like to kiss him. It was never this bad last year, when it was just him looking at Louis and thinking about how clever and funny he was. The baby makes it much, much worse.

"Thanks for sticking around," Liam says softly. "You'll need to get back to Zayn soon, yeah?"

"Yeah," says Louis. "But don't rush me out just yet. Unless you don't want me here when your mum and dad arrive."

"No," says Liam quickly. "Stay, please. For that, at least?" His parents adore Louis. 

Louis nods. "Liam… I know I promised to give you some time. But we do need to talk about why you've got a baby."

"Because she needs me," says Liam.

"And because you're lonely," says Louis. Liam flinches and doesn't reply. It wasn't a question. "Because you're a bit upset at being alone when Zayn and Perrie aren't. Because things haven't worked out the way you thought they would."

Liam puts his hand on Ailie's back as if she's in danger of waking up and running away. She sniffles quietly. "M'not old enough for a mid-life crisis," says Liam.

"I thought things would be different by now, too," says Louis, with a sad little smile, and Liam knows he means Eleanor. Liam misses her, too; when she'd come to visit, Louis always looked so happy. 

"I'm tired of waiting," says Liam, very quietly. He's not sure Louis can even hear him. He doesn't want to lie. "I feel like I've been waiting forever, and… I met Ailie, and I didn't want to wait anymore."

Louis doesn’t say anything. He looks at Liam and Ailie for a while, and he brushes his fingers across her little balled up fist, and then he puts his hand on top of Liam's. For a second Liam thinks, _He'd kiss me back_. 

"I'm going to go and make dinner," Louis says eventually. "And by 'make' I mean phone and have someone bring it to us." 

Liam nods. He just wants to lie in the dark with Ailie for a while. It feels like all he can do for the moment. 

—

"Where's your nose? Where is it? Is this your nose?" Liam points to Ailie's hair, and she giggles. "No, that's not your nose. This is your nose!" He boops her gently on the nose and she squeals with delight. 

She's the easiest audience he's ever had. It's quite comforting, actually. 

"What's so funny?" Louis asks, coming into the room, tapping away at his phone. 

"Ailie's got a nose," explains Liam.

"Oh good, I'd be worried otherwise." 

Ailie, in her high chair, holds her arms up. "Uhhh," she says, waving at Liam. He picks her up, because he only had her there to keep her crawling away under the furniture.

"Is that new?" Louis asks. "Has she just started saying 'up'?" 

"Did she say 'up'?" Liam asks, frowning. He looks at Ailie, who is contentedly chewing on her own fingers. "Darling, did you learn a new word?"

"Put her down and let's see," says Louis. Liam puts Ailie on the floor, where she uses his jeans to drag herself back up to standing. She holds onto his leg with one hand and puts the other arm up. "Uh!" she insists. "Uh!"

Louis looks as proud as if she'd discovered a new planet. "Good girl!" he says, scooping her up. "Up! You wanted to get up, didn't you! Up!" He holds her over his head and grins at her. "Now you're up."

The whole thing hurts Liam's heart. 

Liam's sister Ruth arrives halfway through the morning. She gives Liam a sharp punch in the arm and says, "That's for not telling me sooner!" Liam, who has Ailie on his hip, smiles apologetically. 

"Say hi to Auntie Ruth," he says, and Ailie waves. 

"Auntie Ruth," Ruth repeats, looking a bit stunned. Louis gets her a cup of tea. When Nicola arrives half an hour later, she reaches straight for the baby, and has a bit of a fight with Ruth over who's going to hold her. Liam has to threaten to take the baby away so neither of them get her before they'll agree to take turns. He doesn't mind, really. 

Nic says, "You should have told us," about a hundred times. Liam just shrugs apologetically, because of course he should have; how could he possibly have done something like this without telling his family first? 

"Mum and Dad don't understand," he tries to explain.

Ruth snorts. "You went out and got a baby without even planning it. Did you think they'd throw a party?"

Liam just shrugs again. Nic is trying to teach Ailie to blow kisses, at least until Ruth steals the baby away again. They're cross with him, but they'll get over it. 

It's a bit more difficult with Liam's parents. His mum is crying as she comes in, and his dad hangs back in the door a bit, fiddling with his jacket. "C'mon, Mum," says Ruth. "Come meet Ailie. She's beautiful." Ruth has had possession of Ailie for a good while and doesn't look likely to give her up any time soon, despite Louis's worried hovering over her. ("It's not that I think your sister will drop her, Liam, but…" Louis says quietly, and Liam tries very hard not to laugh at him.)

Liam hugs his mum and feels her trying to get her tears under control. He appreciates the effort. He gets a hug from his dad that starts out a bit one-armed and full of polite back-slapping, and turns into a proper full-on hug instead. Liam knows most of his friends don’t hug their dads and really cling, but he can't help it; he's always hugged his parents a lot. 

"It's okay," Liam says. "Just come in and say hello. Please?"

"I just wasn't expecting to be a gran, not like this," his mum says, sniffling loudly. Nic's taken both of their parents' jackets, and then stood a little behind Ruth, so they can exchange slightly worried looks. Ruth stands up and brings Ailie over, and Ailie smiles and grabs for Liam's mum's sleeve. She's such a friendly baby, Liam thinks proudly.

"Ohhhh," his mum says. "Well, aren't we a lovely little girl? Hello, there. Hello." Her hands hover for a minute, like she'd like to hold the baby, but isn't sure she wants to at the same time. Liam feels a bit ill. They can't just like her, they have to love her. He can't do this otherwise.

"You can hold her," says Louis. "Go on."

Liam's mum still looks hesitant, but she nods. She holds her arms out and Ruth hands her Ailie. Ailie claps happily and then reaches for Liam's mum's glasses, which makes everyone laugh. "Geoff, look. Look what a lovely little girl our Liam has."

"I see," says his dad, trying to sound gruff and failing. "Hello. Ailie, is it?" He holds out one of his fingers, which she grabs for. His dad smiles, and his mum is already bouncing Ailie a little, whispering something in her ear.

God, it's just, it's _exactly_ what Liam wanted. He feels dizzy, like he might just topple over, and then there's Louis stood behind him. "Not a bad looking family, eh?" Louis asks.

Ruth throws her phone at Louis. "Take a family picture, yeah?" 

"Go over there, then," says Louis, pushing Liam's shoulder. Liam goes behind his parents, and Ailie squeals and reaches for him, even as he can hear his mum saying softly, "Best little girl, aren't you?" Liam puts one hand on each of his parents' shoulders, and his mum tries to persuade Ailie to turn around and look at Louis, who's waving madly trying to get her attention. Ruth and Nic crowd in on the side. 

Louis holds the phone up. "One… Two… Come on, Ailie, there's a love. How is your dad gonna put this on twitter if you don't smile?" Ailie finally turns to look at him. "One, two, three! I'm gonna take about a thousand of these, so everyone keep smiling."

"You should be in it," Liam blurts. He doesn't know why he's said it aloud. 

Louis gives him a look between snapping pictures that is clearly calling him an idiot. "Family pictures," he says. "Honestly, Liam."

Liam can feel his face getting red. "I know," he says. He doesn't try to explain, because it's embarrassing, and it's all mixed up. "Mum, shall I take her? She gets heavy after a bit."

"Ohhhh, no, we're fine, aren't we, Ailie?" his mum says, walking over to the sofa. Liam feels himself smiling like an idiot at that. He elbows Ruth, and Ruth elbows him back.

"Still mad at you," says Ruth, and then hugs him with one arm. His family is honestly the best.

It stays a bit awkward all day, as his parents and sisters trade off holding Ailie, and giving him quiet corner-of-the-room what-were-you-thinking lectures. Ruth punches him in the arm and says, "You fucking idiot, it's a baby not a dog. Am I supposed to keep her while you're in Australia?" 

"You would, though," says Liam, a little sheepishly. 

"Obviously," says Ruth. 

His mum cries some more. She held Ailie on the sofa for a good long time, and so Liam knows she's forgiven him, but he still apologizes. "I'm sorry, Mum. I wasn't thinking, I just met her and I knew, and I wish I'd told you first, I wish I'd planned it –"

"Things happen sometimes," says his mum. "I understand. Of course you'd love such a sweet little girl. But I'm worried about you, darling. A baby is _so_ much work, even if you haven't got a job like yours."

"I know," says Liam. 

"You've got no idea," says his mum. "Do you want us to move to London?"

Liam laughs, because that's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. "I'd rather move back to Wolverhampton with Ailie, to be honest with you."

"That would be better." She's tearing up again. "You need us. You obviously need your family around."

"I've got Louis," Liam says. And then, realizing, "And Harry, and Niall, and Zayn, and Paul, and Lou, and… Mum, you know we've had babies on tour before. And everyone's going to love Ailie."

"It's not the same as family," says his mum stubbornly.

It rather is to Liam, but he doesn't argue. His mum being protective of Ailie is better than refusing to come and meet her. 

His dad shakes his head disapprovingly a couple of times. "You sure you're entirely alright?" he asks. "This is a bit out of the blue."

"I'm good," says Liam. He knows he isn't, entirely; Louis's been pretty clear about that. But he doesn't want to worry his dad any more than he already has. 

"You should have done this earlier, Ailie won't be on the Christmas card," his dad says. "We'll have to use one of the phone snaps. I want something to put up on the fridge."

Liam starts to say something, but he can't, because he's too pleased that his dad wants pictures of Ailie. So he hugs him, instead, arms tight around his dad's shoulders, in what he hopes feels like _thank you_ and _I love you_. 

He loves his parents, obviously, but he's still got them a hotel room to stay in for the night, because Ailie and Louis are already in his flat, and it all feels like so much. Ruth must see it on his face, because she announces she's taking everyone to dinner to give Liam a chance to put Ailie to bed. 

His flat is suddenly much more quiet. Liam takes a long, deep breath and feels so overcome with relief that he needs to sit down on the sofa.

Louis has spent the day making his parents laugh, and giving his mum tissues while she cried. And now he's bent over, holding Ailie's hands while she stands and shouts and tries to walk. "Harry wants me to come out for dinner," Louis says. "Are you alright putting her to bed by yourself?"

"Of course," says Liam. 

Louis snorts.

"I can put Ailie to bed," Liam says. "I did it before you showed up."

"You say that as if anything before I showed up counts for anything," says Louis. Ailie abruptly gives up trying to walk and sits down on the floor. She sniffles once and holds her arms up toward Liam, lower lip trembling. "Oh dear, someone's all tired out from a long day of meeting her family."

"You were so good today," says Liam, picking Ailie up. She's considering crying, maybe; she snuggles against his shoulder and makes a sad little noise. "Did you like your Gran? I think she liked you."

"She loved you," says Louis, rubbing Ailie's back. "Of course she did."

"That was really scary," Liam says quietly.

He thinks for a minute that Louis will mock him, but all Louis eventually says is, "Of course it was. But they love her. They'd move to London for her."

"They'd never move to London," Liam says. "Can you imagine?"

"Buy them a flat down here they can stay in when they visit," says Louis. "And you buy a house in Wolverhampton."

"Do you know how much that would _cost_ —"

Louis just rolls his eyes. "You aren't exactly hard-up for cash, Liam." 

"I suppose it's worth thinking about," Liam concedes. Ailie mumbles into his shoulder sleepily. He'd like Ailie to grow up with his parents the way he did with his grandparents. 

"Right, I'm off to dinner with Harry to tell him how to handle Zayn on the brink of a breakdown."

"Doesn't Zayn just nap a lot when he's upset?" Liam asks.

"There's a trick to waking him up again."

Liam frowns. "Aren't you heading back up to Bradford, though?"

"The band voted, and we decided you can't be left alone yet. You'll do stupid fucking things like come home with a surprise baby. Looks like you're stuck with me for a bit longer."

There's so much to work out in that sentence. Louis's shoulders are up, like he thinks Liam's going to argue. And when the hell did they have a band vote, and why wasn't Liam included? He ought to have been included. "Of course I want you to stay," Liam starts, trying to feel out which bit Louis is upset about. "But surely Zayn's wedding—"

"Good, I'm glad we're agreed," Louis says briskly, and grabs his jacket. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Try not to adopt any more children while I'm gone, yeah?"

"But, Louis—"

Louis's already out the door. He can be so _strange_ , Liam thinks. He'll call Niall and figure out what's going on, he decides, but Ailie is sniffling quietly and needs a bottle and a clean nappy and bed. And honestly, Liam could sleep for a long time, too. So he carries her to the nursery and decides he's got enough to worry about at the moment, without adding Louis to the list.

—

He misses Louis while he's gone. It's ridiculous. Liam knows it's ridiculous while he puts Ailie in her sleepsuit, and he knows it's ridiculous when he sings her four different lullabies and reads her The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and That's Not My Dinosaur, while she pats all the pictures inside the cardboard pages sleepily before she drops off. And then Liam sits and watches her sleep and feels ridiculous that he wishes Louis were there, mocking Liam and being snitty about how Liam takes his tea.

He spends every single day with Louis at work. He's got Louis living in his flat at the moment. He can spend a couple of hours without Louis and not lose his mind. 

Still. It would be nice if Louis came back.

Liam sits on the sofa and tries to play a video game, the way he did a week ago before Ailie. But he's too tired to concentrate, and then he goes to get the baby monitor so he can hear Ailie breathing, because he can't just sit on his sofa without being sure she's alright. He puts on a programme instead, but he doesn't even know what it is; he's too busy wondering what Harry's talking to Louis about. Is Zayn cross because Liam's stolen Louis from his wedding plans? Is Harry upset at having to take over everything Louis was doing? 

Liam wakes up because Louis is shaking his shoulder. "You didn't need to wait up," says Louis, disapproving and smiling at the same time. His fringe is falling into his face, and his breath smells like wine. 

"I wasn't, I…" Liam says. He's disoriented, like the world has shifted around him while he was asleep. The television is off, and the whole room is dark.

Louis shakes snow out of his hair. "It's a bit wet out. Lucky you, in your nice warm flat."

"C'mere, I'll warm you up," Liam says, grabbing Louis. He pulls Louis on to the couch with him. The cuffs of Louis's jumper are a bit damp. His nose is cold when he presses it into Liam's cheek. His fingers are like ice when they slip underneath Liam's shirt. 

"Miserable outside," says Louis. "Why can't we have a proper snow? Who needs all this grey slush?"

"Imagine if you and Ailie had a white Christmas birthday," says Liam. He's got an arm around Louis's waist and Louis curled up against his side, and his baby asleep in the next room. It's practically perfect.

"We need to make her first birthday amazing," says Louis. He yawns. "Your parents and your sisters and maybe my sisters can come down, and the lads. Lou can bring Lux and Paul can bring his baby, and Caroline'll bring Brooklyn, and it'll be both our birthdays at once."

Liam nods. "Sounds perfect. Do you mind a pink princess theme? I think Ailie'd be a good princess."

"Excuse you, I'd be an _amazing_ princess."

Louis sounds so offended. Liam can't help but scrunch up his face and laugh. "Niall'd be a good princess, too," he says. "Imagine him in a tutu and a tiara?"

"We'll make that our next video," says Louis.

Liam turns a little and gets a bit of Louis's hair in his mouth. "You and Niall as princesses?"

Louis's got his head tucked right underneath Liam's chin. "All of us as princesses," he says. "Imagine. Zayn is Sleeping Beauty, obviously. Niall can be a fairy princess. You and me, we'll be sporty princesses. Princesses who play football."

"And Harry will be the princess who tells boring stories that put everyone to sleep," Liam says. 

"I'll tell management," Louis says. He tilts his chin up to look at Liam. His eyes are tired and he looks a little soft around the edges, which is the opposite of everything Liam thinks of as Louis Tomlinson. 

Liam's heart is thudding in his chest. He's not sure why, when he's just sat on the sofa with his arm around Louis. It feels like he's run a mile with their trainer. "Thanks for staying here," says Liam. "We appreciate it. Me and Ailie."

"Obviously," says Louis. Liam can feel the little puff of Louis's breath against his own face. 

Liam finds himself staring at Louis's mouth. His lips are a little chapped from being outside in the cold. "I could do it on my own," says Liam, in case Louis's a bit worried. "But I'd rather not," he adds, more honestly.

"Everything's better with all of us," says Louis. "The lads are coming by tomorrow. Harry's decided that when I told him not to buy Ailie presents, it meant he ought to buy Ailie all the presents. You know how Harry is."

"I do." Liam almost thinks that Louis's eyes are flickering down to Liam's mouth, too. Maybe it's just how close they are together, and how dark and quiet the room is. Maybe it's the light snow outside, that won't stick, and won't even be around in the morning. Maybe it's just how tired Liam is. 

Maybe it's just the way Liam's heart won't stop pounding. He's not thinking at all – there's just Louis, and the quiet of a dark flat, and how grateful he is to Louis, and how much he loves him, and has done forever already. Liam leans down and presses his mouth against Louis's.

There's a minute when Liam could pull back and play it off as a joke, or just the way they are around each other. He's kissed Zayn, and he's kissed Niall, and he's kissed Harry. They're more affectionate than Liam knew what to do with for a long time; he'd never had mates he hugged regularly, let alone cuddled up in bed with, or kissed. 

But Louis doesn't move away, and that minute passes. Louis digs his fingers into Liam's hip, and Liam tightens his arm around Louis's waist, and Liam opens his mouth just a little, just enough to taste Louis. Louis makes a funny noise in the back of his throat and suddenly he's kissing Liam back, pressing their mouths together bruisingly, pushing his tongue into Liam's mouth. Not that Liam minds; he hasn't let himself think too hard about kissing Louis, but he'd always assumed Louis would be a little bossy about it. Liam lets himself be pressed back into the corner of the couch, Louis almost climbing into his lap, pulling on Liam's shirt and stretching it in ways that will never come out.

Then the baby monitor coughs to life and Ailie starts to cry, tinny and electric.

"Shit," says Louis, pulling back.

"It wasn't _that_ bad," Liam says, always going for the slightly awkward joke. 

"It wasn't bad at all," says Louis, offended. He straightens his jacket. "I'm _great_ at kissing, fuck you."

Liam should say something teasing back; he knows when Louis's getting all prickly because he's nervous. But instead he says, "You are," quiet and sincere, because he can't help himself.

Louis's cheeks go pink. "Go and get your baby," he says. He shoves at Liam's leg. "Go on. Responsibility calls."

"Not cold anymore, are you?" Liam asks. 

Louis is focusing very hard on the zip on his jacket. "No," he says. "I'm not."

That feels like as much as Liam's going to get from him. Mostly he's excited that Louis kissed him back, instead of running screaming for the door. They should talk about it, probably, but Liam's terrible with words when he tries to explain how he feels; it all goes wrong, and he doesn't want to say something stupid. 

"I'm going to get Ailie," says Liam, standing. He feels a little dizzy. He wants to call Zayn, but Zayn'll be asleep. And Ailie is still crying quietly.

"I'll be in in a bit," says Louis, still not looking at him. 

So… Louis is still planning to sleep in Liam's bed. That feels important; it sits inside Liam's chest like a warm little fire on a cold night. "She probably just wants a bottle," says Liam.

"Or a cuddle," says Louis. He nudges Liam's leg with his foot. "Go on. Give her a cuddle and see."

It sounds like Ailie's nearly cried herself back to sleep actually. "Okay," says Liam. "Yeah. Okay." He can't say any of the things he's thinking, so he goes and finds Ailie, who just wants to be picked up and bounced a bit before she drops off to sleep. 

Liam pulls off his joggers and climbs into his bed, even though he thinks he'll never fall asleep, not with the way his brain is racing. He's still wide awake when Louis comes in to his room and climbs into bed on the other side. Liam feels absolutely frozen; he's a little scared that he's ruined things, and Louis is only here out of pity, or habit. He can't breathe.

"Go to sleep, you dummy. Tomorrow's going to be long," Louis whispers. Liam nods and makes himself close his eyes. 

Louis's arm snakes over Liam's waist, and Louis cuddles up to his back. It feels a little tentative and a little uncertain. It feels amazing. Liam lets himself exhale, and falls asleep.

—

Liam wakes up curled around Louis. For a second he feels his normal, wistful pang of _if only_ and then remembers _I did_. He isn't sure whether the next thing he ought to feel is relief or panic. He skims one of his hands over Louis's chest, feeling him breathe. His skin is so warm and his face is beautiful, and Liam feels a bit like his whole self is made of the kind of fluttering romantic nonsense he'd rather die than say out loud.

"Don't tease. Are you planning something or not?" Louis croaks. He hasn't opened his eyes; how can he sound smug and bossy without even being properly _awake_?

"Wasn't sure if I could," Liam says. His voice is scratchy, too. 

Louis opens his eyes a little. "If you're looking for somewhere to put your hand, try my cock."

Liam laughs, and then realizes he's done it too loudly and Ailie might wake up, so he hides his face in Louis's shoulder. "You're horrible," he says fondly.

"My dick won't suck itself," Louis says, rolling his hips against Liam's. 

"There's a baby in the room," Liam mumbles. He wants to. He's wanted to touch Louis's dick forever, and he's never been invited to before. He's not sure he should. He feels hot all over and a little dizzy, and his own cock is always excited first thing in the morning. 

"Is the baby awake?" Louis asks.

Liam glances over at the cot. Ailie isn't moving, except the soft sound of her breathing. "I hope not."

"Then I don't see why you shouldn't." 

"Shut up," says Liam, pinching his side lightly. He's smiling against Louis's shoulder, and then he tilts his face up and Louis tilts his down, and kisses him. His mouth tastes sour and Liam doesn't really mind. Louis presses his fingers into Liam's back, blunt nails digging into the dip above his bum. 

"Are we really doing this?" Louis asks, voice low and growly. He bites Liam's neck, which he's done loads of times before, but this time Liam shivers all over. 

"I will," says Liam. "I would. Can we? I'd like to, I—" This isn't the right way to do this; they should have a long, thoughtful conversation, maybe talk about the future of the band, and Ailie, and whether Louis means _do this right now_ or _do this at all_ in a more permanent way. But maybe it's good to leave that open ended. 

"Yes, _obviously_ , Jesus," says Louis impatiently. He rolls on top of Liam and kisses him properly, grinding their hips together and biting Liam's mouth. Liam's a little sorry they both went to sleep wearing pants.

Liam makes a stupid, breathy noise and arches up against Louis; his dick has got hard in the blink of an eye, and it aches a little already. Louis goes up on his knees, pressing one between Liam's legs and giving him something to grind against.

"Puppy," says Ailie, clear as a bell. "Up. Up!"

Liam tears his mouth away from Louis's and turns; there's Ailie, stood in her cot and holding on to the bars, looking at them expectantly. "Up!" she says again, reaching for Liam.

"Shit," says Liam. He pushes at Louis, who rolls off him with a dissatisfied groan. "Sorry. Honestly, you have no idea how sorry—"

"You get her up, I'm going for a shower," says Louis. 

"Sorry—" Liam says again, reaching for him.

"Don't touch me! This is all your fault." Louis climbs out of bed and walks a bit awkwardly to the bathroom.

Fair enough. Liam could do with a wank in the shower, too. But Ailie is holding out her hands and bouncing with her whole body. Once she's awake she's entirely awake. "Puppy!" she shouts. "Up!" 

"Right; sorry, love," Liam says. He has to adjust himself before he can get up and hand her the toy. Even then she gives him a reproachful look; her big brown eyes seem to be saying _I can't believe you thought getting off was more important than me._

Liam wonders if his parents ever had this problem. God, he hopes not. "Sorry, darling. Daddy's up, he's here, let's get you some breakfast, shall we?"

Ailie says something that sounds _very_ huffy and dignified. Liam's never been scolded by someone who only knows four words before. He picks her up and puts her on his hip and hopes she won't accidentally kick him in the junk, because he couldn't handle it at the moment. 

It's a long time before Louis comes out, and when he does his hair is wet and he looks like a thundercloud. "The place is a wreck and Michelle the social worker is coming by today," Louis snaps. "And you're nearly out of food."

"I'll take Ailie to the shops," says Liam, striving for calm. When Louis gets horrible and tetchy the only thing to do is to be an unflappable. 

"And your parents are coming by, _and_ all the lads, and we need to plan her birthday. And we need to plan _my_ birthday." Louis bangs around in the fridge, throwing bottles of juice and slamming the door.

"I'll make a list," says Liam. Sometimes Louis is completely frustrating for no apparent reason. Liam wishes that made him want to suck Louis's dick a little less, but it doesn't. He's known Louis for too long. He loves the horrible Louis who bashes around his kitchen as much as he loves the sleepy, soft teasing one. 

Louis bangs open a cupboard and then bangs it shut again. Ailie is watching him quietly, eyes wide. "There's a shitload to do," Louis snaps. "There's _so much_ and you're going to fuck it up if you aren't careful, and have you even _thought_ —"

"You're upsetting Ailie," says Liam. 

Louis turns and looks like he might start shouting, but Ailie does look honestly upset and it seems to make him deflate. "I'm not cross with you, pet," he says. Louis leans down to where Ailie's in her high chair. "I'm never cross with you." He boops her nose gently with his finger, but she still looks a little concerned. 

"Maybe don't shout at her if you're just cross with me," says Liam. 

Sweet as sugar, Louis says, "Maybe go fuck yourself." He says it so lightly that Ailie giggles at him and grabs for his finger on her nose. Liam crosses his arms and sighs a little. After a minute of coaxing Ailie into a high-five, Louis says, "I just think… You haven't planned enough."

"Admittedly, most people plan for a baby for more than a day or two," Liam says. "Zayn offered to paint a nursery, but then Ailie'd have to sleep in the nursery and not with me, and—"

Louis picks Ailie up and cuddles her. He doesn't look at Liam. "I just think you haven't planned, and I don't want you to regret anything," he says. "Right, darling? We don't want your dad waking up being sad about stuff in a month. Or a year."

"I'll never regret Ailie," Liam says fiercely, and then, slow as usual, works out what Louis might mean. "Oh. Jesus, Louis. I'd never regret _you_."

Louis doesn’t say anything; Ailie puts her hand over his mouth, and he blows a raspberry so she pulls it away and squeals. 

"We haven't even actually done anything yet, can we _please_ worry about a messy breakup later?" Liam pleads. "I already spend every waking minute with you and I still want more, even though you're the most annoying knob I've ever met. Surely that means something, right?" 

"I suppose," Louis says quietly, "no one in the press is going to think it's very weird if we go on holidays together."

"No one would think it was weird if you kissed me in full view of the press," Liam snorts. "Have you _seen_ how you behave?"

"Like an angel," says Louis firmly. He puts Ailie down, and she goes crawling off to find her puppy. 

Liam grabs Louis's hand, and Louis doesn’t pull away, which feels like progress. "Please, can we try? It was nice last night. It was nice this morning."

"It'll be nice when we get a nanny," Louis grumbles, letting Liam pull him closer. "Do you think your parents would take her for a few hours? Wanking in the shower is always such a disappointment."

"I didn't even get to wank in the shower," Liam points out mildly.

Louis immediately moves his hand to cup Liam's dick. He looks a little smug that Liam's still half-hard. "You're the one who decided to get a baby."

"I didn't think you were really an option at the time."

"Hmm. I like that. Mysterious and unattainable and up on a pedestal, the image of boyfriendly perfection—"

"More like, the most obnoxious person I've ever met—"

Louis kisses him. Liam doesn't really mind. Louis's still got his hand on Liam's dick, and he squeezes a little, just enough to make Liam groan. He loves Ailie, but if she could have waited five more minutes to wake up, it would have been a much better morning.

The doorbell buzzes. "Jesus Christ," Louis says. "If we can't get a chance now, imagine how shit this will be on the road?" 

"The whole crew will want to baby sit," Liam says. "We'll make it work. If you… I mean, if you think in a few months, we'd still be… If…"

"Go and answer your door," says Louis, shoving him. "Did you think I woke up this morning and decided I fancied a shag with you as a laugh? You aren't _that_ fit, mate."

Liam scrunches up his face, confused, as he buzzes people in. "Well then, what are we doing?"

If Louis rolled his eyes any harder, he'd hurt himself. Then the door opens and Niall and Harry burst through. "You could put on some trousers, mate," says Niall.

"Where's the baby?" Harry has a giant bag in his arms.

"I told you, she doesn’t need presents," says Louis.

"Right, that was obviously rubbish," says Harry, shaking his head. 

Liam probably should put on trousers. "I'll get dressed. Me and Ailie are going to the shops."

"Not if I don't give her back," says Harry. He's found Ailie sitting by the sofa, playing with Louis's scarf. 

Liam gets dressed while Niall and Harry give Ailie a musical keyboard that Liam can hear from the other end of his flat. That'll be fun to wake up to, he thinks. Then he starts to wonder, what if Ailie's musical? What if she's a great singer, or she plays the piano, or she can write, or she's brilliant at maths? Or what if she's not amazing at anything; she's just an average, normal baby? 

He doesn't believe it. She's obviously exceptional. She's the prettiest baby in the world, for a start. But it makes him love her a little more ferociously. What if people mistakenly think she's just an ordinary baby, and he has to fight them over it? He thinks of how hard his parents believed in him, even when it didn't make sense to spend so much time and money on all his dreams of singing. The least he can do is love her as much as they loved him.

"Noooo," Harry protests. "Don't take her away!"

"We haven't been out of the flat in days," says Liam firmly. "I want her to be a normal little girl when we're home. With a normal dad. Louis, can you text me a list of what to buy?"

"Bread and milk and cereal and fruit. _Food_ ," says Louis, but he starts typing it into his phone anyway. 

Liam steals Ailie away from Harry and finds the pushchair. He's going to do normal things with Ailie. 

"Don't be gone too long. Your parents and Michelle are both coming by," says Louis. He gives Liam a little smile that might have something to do with how they were kissing a few minutes ago. Or it might just be Louis being a bit smug and weird. It's so hard to tell. 

Harry looks from one of them to the other and frowns. Okay; it definitely is some kind of "we were just kissing" smile. "Be back shortly," says Liam, and ducks out before Harry can ask any questions. Ailie's all done up in her little puffa jacket and her panda bear hat, and she bangs happily on the pushchair as they go out. Liam's glad it's cold. It's not quite a cold shower, but since he can't have Louis for a good long time yet, it'll do. 

—

All the mums at the shop want to talk to Ailie. Liam's been mobbed by girls all over the world, but suddenly he can't get to the eggs for all the middle-aged mums who want to tell Ailie what a pretty girl she is, and congratulate Liam on his beautiful daughter.

It's all a bit overwhelming. Ailie gets a little shy, when too many people lean down and get right in her face. Liam thinks he sees some camera phones as well. He picks her up and puts her on his hip, filling the pushchair up with groceries because it's convenient. Louis keeps texting with more things to buy, but Liam feels a little rushed to get out of the shop before Ailie starts to cry, so he throws bread and eggs and milk in the pushchair, and some digestive biscuits he knows Louis particularly likes. That'll stop Louis complaining too much, and Liam can send Ruth back to the shop if he forgot anything.

"She's just beautiful," says someone's gran, wiggling her fingers at Ailie. Ailie turns and hides her face in Liam's shoulder. "How old is she?"

"Eleven months," says Liam politely, trying to balance Ailie while he takes the food out of the pushchair to pay for it. 

"Ohhh," says the lady. She's old enough that Liam can't really ask her to stop poking at his baby without feeling a twinge of guilt. But she wants Ailie to look up, and Ailie doesn't want to, and Liam feels a bit antsy about it. If only Louis were here, he thinks. Louis would tell her to fuck off and never feel bad about it. "She has your eyes, you know."

That's actually impossible, but Liam still gets a little surge of pride. "She looks like her mum," he says, because that seems a lot more likely, and anyway it might be true. He has no idea. No one can prove she doesn't.

"She must be lovely," says the old lady. Ailie makes a noise that sounds like she's seriously considering a nice long cry. Liam hasn't had to try and deal with that, yet; when Ailie's cried it's always just been at home with him. Will everyone in the shop stare at him and assume he's done something awful? He feels a little panic. 

"Come on, baby, it's alright," he says quietly. She's clutching his shirt with both hands. "Just a few more minutes, there's a good girl."

"She's just tired," says the old lady. "You should give her a bottle."

"She wants a nap," says a mum in the next aisle. 

The girl working the check out says, "Have you checked her nappy?"

"Probably misses her mum," says the old lady.

Liam must look unbearably incompetent and stupid, he thinks, if every woman in the shop wants to give him advice. "Cheers," he says, sort of vaguely to everyone, and then grabs his bags and the pushchair and rushes out of the shop.

"That was a bit mad, wasn't it, darling?" he asks. Ailie makes a fretful noise, but sits up and says something scolding. "I know, I'm sorry." He tries to imagine what it'll be like to carry Ailie through a crowd of screaming girls. He's done it with Lux and Brooklyn, but they weren't _his_. He thinks he might have a panic attack. No wonder his parents were so worried. Normal things are quite difficult, with a baby to worry about.

"We can do this," Liam says firmly, and hopes Ailie believes him. It's much less crowded outside, maybe because it's cold. Maybe Ailie was just grumpy because she was too warm in the shops in her jacket. Now that she's smiling and perked up a bit, Liam takes his phone out of his pocket. He snaps a selfie – a bit of a harder balancing act with a baby in one arm – and gets a shot with Ailie waving her arms and looking a bit blurry. _Are first trip to the shops is a successssssssss!_ he tweets, and sends the picture along as well. He thinks about trying to explain that it wasn't a perfect success; loads of things might have gone better. But he won't spell it right, and twitter will get all worked up, so he leaves it at that. He's got to celebrate little victories like this.

His flat is so loud when he gets home that he nearly turns around and walks Ailie right back out. His parents are there, chatting to Niall, and his sisters are quizzing Zayn and Harry, and Louis is talking to Michelle, the social worker. Everyone turns to look at him, which is a bit overwhelming, and then he realizes everyone just wants Ailie. He hands her to his mum, who obviously gets priority no matter how much Harry pouts. 

"You should have taken security," Louis says quietly, grabbing his elbow.

"Didn't even think of it," says Liam. He's never needed security just to pop out to pick up food.

"Well, now you've got a baby, you've got to think of it," says Louis sternly. Liam wants to roll his eyes, but he restrains himself. He knows Louis is just worried. Louis puts groceries in the fridge while giving Liam a lecture he doesn't really listen to. It's nice Louis thinks he's in charge, Liam thinks. It keeps him busy and out of trouble.

"Your parents are lovely," says Michelle. "Although apparently quite surprised to be grandparents?" 

Liam knows there's no right answer to that. "I suppose I didn't give them much warning," he admits. He can't tell Michelle that he suspects he may have been having a bit of a jealous breakdown over Zayn's wedding. He wouldn't have even realized, if Louis hadn't been so pushy about it. He _feels_ fine, but then, that's always the way, isn't it? He feels fine and it's only later someone points out he was acting a bit odd because he was feeling sad. 

"It's good you've got such a solid support system," Michelle says, and Liam thinks she's coming around to him. He's not the obvious candidate, but he can convince her he'll do a good job. He's brilliant at working hard. 

"Can I ask you something?" Liam asks. He backs a step out of the room, where it's a tiny bit more private. Louis has been dragged into a conversation with Ruth. Good.

"Of course," says Michelle, and looks a bit concerned.

"Does it… Um… Do you take in to account things like relationships?" Liam asks. He bites his lip but tries not to look childish.

"We do like placements with a steady relationship, yes," says Michelle. "It's good for the children."

"And do you… Does it matter… I mean, if the relationship isn't quite…" He wants to say 'normal' but that's not the right word. Everyone would shout at him. Besides, kissing Louis felt quite normal. "What if it's, like, a gay thing?"

Michelle stares at him for long enough that Liam's whole stomach sinks. He's blown it, he's ruined everything. She's going to take Ailie and storm out, _why_ did he—

"Do you mean Harry and Louis?"

This time it's Liam who stares. "What?"

"I've got a niece, she quite likes your band," says Michelle. She looks embarrassed. "And she was telling me that Harry and Louis are dating, but they aren't allowed to say so. That must be very difficult for all of you."

Liam couldn't be more astonished if Ailie started speaking perfect French. "They aren't," he says. "That's just a rumor. That's…" He wants to say _completely mad, aren't you an adult? Can't you tell when your niece says things that are rubbish?_. But he isn't thick enough to say that to the social worker. "Loads of people think that," he says. "Would it matter if it were true, though?" He's sorry he hasn't got the nerve to ask about himself. 

Michelle nods knowingly. "We don't discriminate in placements," she says. "That would be illegal." She gives him a little wink, which throws him, until he realizes she still thinks he's talking about Harry and Louis.

"Ah," says Liam. "Thanks. That's good to know."

"Are they thinking of adopting?" She sounds like she'd think that was rather romantic.

"Couldn't say," says Liam. He hopes if things with him and Louis go well, they'll end up with Ailie together. But that's a _massive_ leap into the future. Not worth worrying about yet. Not at all.

Michelle pats his arm. "Let them know, then." 

He ought to correct her. It's almost a lie not to, isn't it? Or it's bit dishonest, and what if she finds out later and then is cross about it and it loses him points on something, maybe? But Liam lets her walk away to go and ask his dad something, and doesn't correct her. It feels awfully early to go around telling strangers what he and Louis may or may not be up to. 

"I want to be godfather," says Zayn. 

"Isn't that a religious thing?" Liam asks. He didn't notice Zayn appearing out of nowhere; he wonders what Zayn heard. 

"Not if you don't want it to be," Zayn says, a little pouty. "C'mon, mate. She might need someone else in her life eventually who's, y'know… Not entirely white."

Liam hadn't considered that. "Oh," he says. "Good point."

Zayn gets a little excited. "We'd have to work around the Muslim thing, I guess. But you aren't exactly religious, anyway. Honorary godfather, in, like, the most non-religious way."

"Harry would be good, too," says Liam, just because it'll make Zayn huff. 

Zayn's forehead wrinkles up. "Not as good as me."

"I don't know. If Harry has her I know he'll take her out, introduce her to people. You'll just hole up in your creepy house in the woods and turn her into Rapunzel." 

For a second Zayn looks honestly offended, and then he realizes that Liam is joking. Zayn mumbles his annoyance. "You aren't allowed to spend any more time with Louis."

Liam swallows guiltily at that, because Zayn doesn't know just what he's been up to with Louis. "Dunno about godfather stuff, but you're on the list," he says.

"I better _be_ the list," says Zayn, elbowing Liam. And then he throws himself at Liam for an awkward one-armed hug. 

"You'll have to fight Louis for it," says Liam, because that's what he's supposed to say. He keeps getting all choked up, over and over, by these boys. He hugs Zayn a little tighter.

"Liammm," Zayn whines. "I'm getting _married_. You could make it the wedding present. Just let me have the baby now and then."

"You've got Perrie. You can make your own," Liam says. Zayn looks like he's considering that, so Liam ducks out to try and find a safer conversation. It's a matter of minutes at best until Zayn works out that he's kissed Louis. Zayn has a sixth sense for that sort of thing, especially since he spends so much time with Louis being idiots together. He'll know something is up.

It's amazing how crowded Liam's flat is, considering how big it is. The city looks cold and damp outside, but he's got the heat cranked up, and his mum and dad are crying happily and talking to the social worker. Ruth's run off with the baby, and she and Harry are trying to teach Ailie how to play the keyboard Harry brought. She's mashing keys and showing Harry her puppy, and Harry looks like it's the best thing he's ever seen. 

"Louis says it's her birthday soon?" Niall asks. "Big pink princess party, eh? I'm invited, right? Guest of honor?"

"You'll wear a big pink princess dress?" Liam asks.

"I'll wear two," says Niall. "I'm gonna steal favorite uncle away from all these fuckers." 

"Stiff competition," says Liam. 

Niall grins. "I've got natural charm, haven't I?"

"The most charming," says Liam. He could almost cry. These boys really like Ailie, and really think of her as _his_. Liam's got used to feeling like he could drown from being so grateful for his life basically every single day, but this is a whole new level. He doesn't know what to do. "The lady at the shop said she looks like me," says Liam. "D'you think… Isn't that funny?"

"Did she want in your pants?" Niall asks, with a leer.

"She was someone's gran, Niall. No."

"Doesn't mean she wasn't horny," says Niall thoughtfully.

Liam can't hide his horror. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

Niall throws his head back and laughs. Liam elbows him a little and rolls his eyes.

Whatever concerns Michelle had, Liam's mum seems to have fixed most of them. They spend an hour with their heads together, looking at pictures on Liam's mum's phone, and then Michelle tells Liam she'll be back in a few days and goes off, making notes on her tablet. 

"I think it's going well," says Liam. He hopes it is, at least. 

"She's nice," his mum says. "And look at Ailie, falling asleep on Harry's lap." Liam has no idea how Harry has managed to monopolize the baby for such a long time now. Ailie is cuddled into his side and sleepily pulling at his hair while he gives her a bottle. 

"We're going to lunch," says Ruth. "Mum, are you coming? Me and Nic are starved."

"I've just shopped for food," Liam points out. 

"Bah," says Ruth. "Come on, Mum."

Liam's mum goes over and kisses the top of Ailie's head, and Liam works very hard not to make a whole big crying deal out of it. There's still something slightly wary in how his parents look at her, but it's a thousand times better than he hoped it would be. "Go and get some food, then," Liam says. "Bring us back something."

Ruth says, "It's possible we need to go and buy Christmas and birthday presents for Ailie, so you weren't invited anyway." She pushes their mum and dad toward the door. 

Liam's not sure why everyone thinks they need to keep presents for Ailie a surprise from him, as well. He thinks about pointing out that Louis bought her half a shop already, but doesn't. 

"I'm taking Zayn out for a drink," says Niall. "Since I can't get Harry or Louis away from the baby for half a second." He rolls his eyes.

"She's a _baby_ ," says Harry huffily, shaking his head.

"Drinks and then Zayn's off to Bradford," says Niall. "Say goodbye, Zayn. We'll see you in a couple of days for the wedding, anyway."

Zayn spends a lot of time pretending to be annoyed that Harry's not coming straight back with him, but then he spends longer trying to kiss Ailie and make her cuddle him rather than Harry. Ailie's too tired, so all he gets is an exhausted little sigh and a sleepy blinking smile, and he has to give up. 

"Later, though," says Zayn. "Because I can't do this on my own, yeah? I'll go crazy. I can't—"

Louis interrupts. "You have Danny and Ant, and tonight you'll have Harry, and tomorrow you'll have me. Go away. Niall, take him away." Niall throws his head back and laughs as he shoves Zayn toward the door. Liam feels a bit bad; everyone else is pitching in toward Zayn's wedding, and he'd originally planned to be part of the effort, but now he's got Ailie, no one thinks he can do anything. They aren't wrong, though.

Liam's so tired after all the crowd that he could lie down on the couch with Ailie and take a nap, too, but Louis's grabbed his hand. "We need to chat," says Louis tersely, even before Niall and Zayn are out the door. 

"Are you leaving tomorrow?" Liam asks, a little plaintively.

"Did you seriously ask Michelle about us?" Louis hisses, and that's enough for Liam to go with him into the bedroom and let Louis kick the door shut. 

Louis crosses his arms. He hasn't turned the lights on, so the bedroom is dark except for the winter sun filtering in through Liam's curtains. Louis looks hazy and lovely, but even in the dim light Liam can see how cross he is.

"I asked her a general sort of a question," Liam hedges. "I didn't mention us."

"What if she'd said no?" Louis nearly shouts. 

"I thought about that!" Liam protests. "That's why I was vague. She thought I meant you and Harry, anyway. And she didn't seem the type to be all upset over it. I just… I thought I ought to check."

"You're so stupid," says Louis. He sounds like he's in agony. "Why would you risk that—"

"I'm _not_ stupid," Liam says. He's surprised at how annoyed he sounds. He gives Louis a little shove. Sometimes it's Louis who's being thick, and it always makes him really nasty. "I figured I ought to check, because it really fucking matters to me, alright? I wasn't being a dummy, I was being _optimistic_." That was a word on his calendar last year, and he remembers it perfectly, because it describes Niall to a tee.

There's a pause. "How do you mean?" Louis asks. He's still got his arms crossed, and he's not looked up at Liam since Liam pushed him. 

Liam's whole chest knots up inside; he's not sure how to put words together in the right order without getting all embarrassed. "We haven't talked about it," he says, trying to keep his chin up. "But I'd like… I mean, if we were to keep on… It might _matter_ , eventually. You might be… I just need to know what I'm planning for. If I'm planning for anything, obviously; we've not talked about it." Despite his best efforts he ends on a mumble. 

Louis doesn't say anything.

"Dunno if you were just joking around this morning," Liam says eventually. "I wasn't." Fuck, he thinks. He told Zayn he wasn't going to do this because it might ruin the band. But last night, when Louis kissed him back, it felt like it was going to be fine. That they'd make it work, because they're friends, and it wouldn't mess anything up. And now it doesn't feel like that at all, it all feels ruined. He's gone and changed everything about his life, and Louis was right to be cross with him this morning, because he _hasn't_ planned and he didn't prepare.

"Fuck," says Louis. "Come over here. Fuck." 

Liam doesn't realize how high his shoulders have gone until Louis grabs his hand and pulls him over. Louis puts an arm around Liam's waist and Liam steps in so close he's between Louis's legs. Louis is warm, and his arm feels like iron. It makes Liam relax just out of habit. He's been ruined by his band cuddling him. 

"You love Ailie a lot," Louis says. He has to tilt his face up, because they're so close together. Liam likes the way Louis's eyelashes look from this angle. "And I'd hate it if I ruined that for you. It'd kill me."

"Yeah, but Michelle said it was fine," Liam says. His hands settle on Louis's hips, because they have to go somewhere. He can't help a tiny little laugh. "I think she'd help you and Harry adopt, to be honest."

"Shut up," says Louis, but he's grinning. "What's wrong with you, why are you the way you are?"

"Dunno—" says Liam, and then Louis fists his hand in Liam's t-shirt and pulls him down into a kiss. 

Liam opens into the kiss immediately. He's already as close to Louis as he can get with his clothes on; he'd like to get their clothes off. His hands tighten on Louis's bum – he's always liked Louis's bum – and Louis kisses his way across Liam's jaw and scrapes their stubble together, and bites bruisingly on Liam's neck. 

"Nnng," says Liam, when he meant to say _I really really like you_ , and then he shoves Louis backwards onto the bed. Louis doesn't let go, so Liam falls on top of him, and then it gets quite frantic for a moment; trying to kiss and get Louis's jeans off, while Louis's kicking his Toms off and trying to drag Liam's shirt up over his head. Liam nearly gets an elbow to the face when Louis tries to get his own shirt off, and when Liam sits back on his knees to undo his flies, Louis nearly kicks him in the balls. It's so stupid, and he could laugh at the whole thing but he's embarrassingly turned on.

"You're shit at this," says Louis, who is already naked somehow. He sits up and shoves Liam's hands away, pulling Liam's jeans and pants off with one swift yank. "Your jeans are barely over your arse anyway, how can it take you this long to get naked?"

"Shut up," says Liam, kicking his jeans off, and then he shoves Louis down onto the bed because he can. He loves being bigger than Louis, sometimes; he can hold him down and press their naked chests together, and grind his dick against Louis's, and shut Louis up with his mouth. Louis is muscular but his skin's also soft, and Liam wants him so badly he feels like he might shake apart. 

"Have you done this before?" Louis asks. Liam holds himself up over Louis for a minute, knees on either side of Louis's hips. Louis reaches up and grabs Liam's nipple and twists, and for whatever reason instead of being obnoxious like it usually is, it makes Liam's dick jump. 

"I've had sex," says Liam, leaning down to bite Louis's neck in very gentle retaliation. Louis's cock is red and flushed against his stomach, and Liam wants to touch it. He can hold himself up with one arm and slide his hand along Louis's cock, so he does. 

"Shit," says Louis, tipping his head back. Liam wishes they'd put the light on; he wants to see how flushed Louis's cheeks are. "I mean with another bloke, you knob."

"Does it matter?" Liam asks. He's always been good at waiting, with girls; he knows how important it is to get everyone warmed up. He's _great_ at foreplay. But he's been turned on since he woke up, and his balls are starting to ache. He strokes his hand up and down Louis's cock a couple of times, and when Louis doesn't seem to object, he runs his thumb up the vein underneath, skims his fingers over the foreskin, slides his hand back down and rubs at the skin between Louis's cock and his balls. Louis makes a gratifyingly choked up noise.

Louis is holding on to Liam's hip so tightly that Liam is going to be bruised in the morning. He reaches up with his other hand and pulls Liam down into a vicious kiss. Liam keeps running his hand up and down Louis's cock, and wishes he'd put lube somewhere sensibly close, like under the pillow, so neither of them would ever have to leave the bed again. 

"It matters," Louis croaks, "if you're expecting _me_ to be the expert on this, because I'm not." He slides his hand into Liam's hair at the nape of his neck and pulls until Liam stops trying to kiss his jaw. Liam likes the pressure on his neck. He'd like it if Louis pulled a little harder, actually. 

"If we get confused we can look up how to do it on YouTube," says Liam. "But I think we'll work it out."

"Since when are _you_ the smug fucking twat in this relationship?" Louis demands. He shoves Liam over on to his side and then climbs on top of him. Liam lets him do whatever he'd like. He closes his eyes and somehow it's still not a surprise when he feels Louis's mouth on his nipple, and then Louis's teeth. Liam gasps and feels hot and tingling all over; it's like his skin is on fire. And then Louis puts his hand around both of their cocks, squeezing them together, and his fingers, and the skin there being pressed together – Liam's brain just stops all together. 

"Lube?" Louis asks. Liam bites his lip and shakes his head. It's somewhere, he can't remember, it didn't seem important.

"Sorry," he manages. "I _am_ stupid."

"Told you you didn't plan enough," Louis says. His hand moves faster around both of them, and it's hot and dry and a little rough, but Liam's dick is leaking and the ache in his balls is unbearable, and maybe he doesn't care if it hurts a little. 

Liam opens his eyes again to the most unbelievably hot thing he's ever seen; Louis sliding down the bed and then bending nearly in half so he can take Liam's dick into his mouth. "Fuck, _fuck_ ," Liam nearly shouts. His hips go up all on their own and Louis chokes and pinches the soft skin of Liam's thigh in retaliation. Little sparks fly around the edges of Liam's vision. 

Louis may not be an expert, but Liam's never needed an expert mouth on his dick, especially not when he was already desperate to come. Louis's tongue runs around the tip and then his mouth bobs up and down on Liam's cock and the look of it – Louis's mouth stretched around his cock, the look of concentration on Louis's face, the soft sweep of Louis's lashes, the heat and pressure of Louis's mouth – and Liam can't even manage a choked out warning. He comes so hard that his toes curls and his vision goes white. He can't breathe. 

He hears Louis splutter and spit. "Rude," he says, but he sounds amused. Liam would apologize, if he could move at all. His chest feels like it's broken open, and all he can manage is to crack his eyes open and try to breathe. Louis rubs the back of his hand against his mouth, and then turns his hand and licks his palm. 

"Wait, I can—" Liam offers, but Louis's already jerked his hand up his own cock a few times and then comes with a grunt that Liam shouldn't find sexy. He does. He even finds it sexy when Louis wipes his hand off on Liam's stomach, and then collapses onto the bed beside him.

"Too late," Louis bitches sleepily. "You're useless, you."

"I'll make it up to you," says Liam. Some of the blood has come back to his body; he wiggles his fingers and toes to make sure he still can, and then he leans over and kisses Louis's cheek, because that's what he can reach. 

Louis yawns and cuddles in to Liam's side. Everything is a bit sticky and damp and _perfect_. Liam's never felt quite this satisfied after sex, but then, he's rarely had sex with someone after thinking about it for literally years. "Make it up to me by buying some lube," says Louis. 

Liam laughs. He's got an arm under Louis and his other hand on Louis's hip; Louis's got a leg flung over his. "I'll buy whatever you'd like, if we can do that again."

"Anything?" Louis asks, arching an eyebrow. 

Liam really should have known better than to give Louis an opening. "You don't want, like, a sex swing or something, do you?" he asks. "Because I don't know how those work, and they look a bit scary."

Louis stares at him for a second, and then he breaks into giggles. Louis hides his face against Liam's chest, and Liam thinks he hears a muffled, " _so ridiculous_ ," but he doesn't mind. He doesn't mind at all.

—

It takes nearly an hour for Liam to drag himself out of bed; every time he tries, there's Louis, naked and grabbing for him, and it's so easy to let himself be pulled back. Eventually guilt gets the better of him; Harry's been sitting with Ailie for longer than can probably be justified by Louis and Liam having a chat. Harry has to go to Bradford later; he can't sit with Ailie forever.

Liam finds his jeans on the floor. "Was I wearing this t-shirt?" he asks, holding up a grey one.

"Who cares?" Louis asks, yawning and rolling over.

Liam rolls his eyes. "If I come out wearing a different shirt to earlier, what are we going to tell Harry?" 

Louis sits up. His hair is sticking straight up, and his cheeks are a little flushed. He looks gorgeous. Liam would like to tackle him all over again. "Are we telling Harry?" Louis asks.

Liam shrugs. "We can if you want to," he says. 

"Shit," says Louis, running a hand through his hair. "Do you have a plan? I don't have a plan."

Liam sits down on the edge of the bed. "We have to tell the boys," he says. "I dunno if we have to tell them right now, but we have to tell them."

"What about your parents? What about Paul, and everyone on tour? What about—"

"Louis." Liam can't believe he has to be the one who's the voice of reason and calm. "We don't have to decide all of that right now. I told you earlier. I'm happy to take it one step at a time." He puts his hand on Louis's knee and squeezes. 

Louis visibly gathers himself. "I never thought that far ahead. I got as far as us in bed, and then I guess I stopped."

"You thought about us in bed?" Liam's voice cracks a bit. His eyes are so wide, he must look ridiculous.

Louis snorts. "What sort of slag do you think I am? Or do you think you being covered in squished bits of baby breakfast and having a nervous breakdown is the sexiest thing I can imagine?" 

Liam can't lean over and kiss Louis, or they'll actually never get out of bed. He puts his hand in Louis's instead, and threads their fingers together. "Bit of column A, bit of column B."

Louis elbows him, but squeezes his hand. "With the wedding, and the baby, and everything… Should we tell the boys? Or should we wait? You've already nearly stolen Zayn's thunder."

Liam bites his lip and stares at his knees for a minute. His heart thumps in his ears. He promised Zayn he wouldn’t screw up the band. He promised himself he wouldn't ruin things for everyone just because he thinks Louis is well fit. "I can't lie to them," Liam says eventually. "I can barely lie to anyone. I think we have to tell them, and we can wait on everyone else to see if it works out." Louis squeezes his hand again, and Liam squeezes back. He can't assume it'll all end happily, not unless he and Louis are willing to put loads of work into it. "I was serious earlier. If you and I just happen to go on holiday together, and you're always at my flat with Ailie, no one'll notice. The press'll say it's just One Direction being ourselves, and the fans'll still think it's you and Harry." He smiles wryly at Louis.

"So your plan is to tell people who need to know, and just… wait and see otherwise? Keep it as quiet as we can, but don't lie to anyone if they ask?" 

Liam nods. "I can talk my parents around, but it might take a while. They've just had a shock with Ailie. This would be another shock. But you know they love you."

"They love me as your friend. I'm not sure they love me as the boy sleeping with their baby."

Liam's not sure his parents will be able to roll with that, either, but he can convince them. "They will," he says determinedly. "It's just a lot for right now. A lot with Ailie and all. Is that alright?"

"I get it," says Louis quietly. He kisses Liam's cheek. "And it's not worth blowing everything up, if you'll be bored of me in a month."

"I won't," says Liam immediately.

"What if I get bored of you?" Louis teases. He pushes Liam off the bed. "I think that's the right shirt, and if it's not, who cares?"

"What if it's not, and Harry wants to know what's up?" Liam grumbles, pulling his shirt on. "I think it's the same one. Maybe we should wait until after the wedding?"

Louis leans back on his elbows. He looks so good. Liam wants to climb on top of him and lick him all over. He focuses on straightening his t-shirt again. "Go and start to butter Harry up," says Louis. "I'll be out in a minute. He'll know something's up, though, no matter what shirt you wear, because it's on inside-out and your hair looks like a porcupine."

Liam's cheeks heat up. "You're awful," he says. It sounds like the fondest thing he's ever said, it's terrible. He throws Louis's pants at him and goes out to get Ailie before he's distracted by having Louis naked in his bed again.

Harry's sat watching the television, phone in one hand, Ailie napping on his shoulder. "Sorry," says Liam guiltily. "Didn't mean to leave you out here this whole time."

"I bet," says Harry, not looking up from his phone.

"Louis… He and I…" Liam glances over his shoulder, but of course Louis isn't there. He's a twat about things like that. "Er, he wanted to talk to me about the social worker, and then we got a bit distracted."

"Yeah," says Harry. "You left the baby monitor on."

Liam's heart stops. He opens his mouth to say something and nothing happens. It takes a second for the embarrassment to hit, and when it does, it's like he's been hit by a thousand tonne weight; his cheeks are burning, his skin feels hot all over, and his knees are jelly. What if it had been his parents? What had Harry _heard_?

"Oh, god," says Liam faintly, and sits down on the sofa. 

"Sounded like you were having fun," says Harry. He looks up, and Liam's so horrified he can't even tell if Harry's amused or annoyed. "Glad you decided to tell me. Would have been a bit awkward otherwise."

"Oh, _god_ ," says Liam, and hides his face in his hands.

"D'you want to hear the noise you make when Louis sucks you off? I recorded it."

"You never did," Liam manages. He can't breathe.

Harry grins. "Nah. I didn't. He did, though, right? Your _face_." 

"Quite pervy, Harold, listening to us!" Louis shouts.

"I could hear you through the wall, anyway!" Harry shouts back. Ailie makes a tetchy noise. "Here, take her. I turned it off when I realized what you two were up to. Try and remember to breathe, Liam. It's fine. Well. I hope it'll be fine." Harry gives Liam Ailie, and Liam's arms know how to take her and hold her, even though the rest of him feels like he's drowned in embarrassment and probably died. "Between the baby and now this, I do wonder, though."

"Wonder what?" Liam hugs Ailie too tightly; she wakes up a little, waving her fist around. 

"You sure you aren't trying to sabotage the band?" 

Liam's head jerks up. Harry's squinting at him. "Of course not," he says. "Harry, no!"

"I thought maybe you were bored of us. Wanted to ruin things so you could quit. Or are you just trying to make our lives difficult?" Harry's smiling, but he looks a little wary. Liam doesn't blame him. "As difficult as you possibly could, I think."

"Not on purpose," says Liam. Can Harry honestly think Liam would do anything like that?

Louis comes out shirtless and a bit red-faced. "Tell me you turned the baby monitor off, Harry. Before you heard anything."

Harry looks quite smug. "I wasn't sure what it was at first, just you two bitching at each other like always. Then you asked him if he knew about sex with blokes, and I worked out what all those 'ahhh ahhh' noises were. Ailie doesn't need to hear that, so I shut it off." 

"Oh god," says Liam, hiding his face against the top of Ailie's head. 

"You're very cheeky," says Louis. 

Harry looks really curious. "Did you think I wouldn't notice you two gone in a bedroom for an hour?"

"We were going to tell you," mumbles Liam.

"Zayn _said_ you two were acting a bit funny."

Louis has his hands on his hips, and he's trying to look quite fierce. It could be worse, Liam thinks. Harry seems to think it's quite amusing. "Zayn doesn't know shit, because this is the first time it's happened."

Harry snorts. "Don't believe you. Zayn definitely knew. Are you sure I shouldn't be worried about Liam? First the baby, now this. He's acting really odd. If he shaves his head and starts hitting paparazzi with umbrellas, I'll be forced to keep Ailie for myself."

"You'll have to fight Zayn for it," Liam says.

"Liam is fine," says Louis, with conviction that Liam knows he doesn't really feel. Liam should probably defend himself, whilst they discuss him as if he isn't there, but he's still trying to adjust to this new mortifying world where Harry's heard him having sex.

Harry nods a couple of times, like he's having a conversation with himself inside his own head. He probably is. Harry's still a bit of a mystery to Liam sometimes. "It can't mess with the band," Harry says eventually.

"It won't," says Liam.

"You can't ask Zayn to pick sides, if you two get in a fight. You can't make Niall cry. You can't abuse security so you can sneak off and have sex. You can't get fat and lazy because you're in a relationship." 

"We wouldn't," Louis says. "Harry, c'mon."

"The baby's a big enough change," says Harry. "This is going to be mad."

Ailie wakes up a little more with a noise that might be the start of a cry. "It won't be easy," says Liam, "but we can do it. I promise, Harry. I wouldn't do any of it, if I thought it would ruin us all."

"Everything Liam says sounds like an inspirational speech," Harry complains. He points at Louis. "You're supposed to be in charge of Zayn's nervous breakdown right now, not Liam's. You can't do both."

Louis looks at Liam, and Liam nods a little. He doesn't expect this to make Louis change all the things he had planned; it's just something extra to add on. "I'm going to Bradford," says Louis. "Of course I am. Liam'll be okay on his own for a couple of days –"

"My parents are here," Liam points out. Not that he's sure how long they'll stay. 

"—and after the wedding, we'll work the rest of it out." 

Harry and Louis stare at each other for a long time, and for a second it reminds Liam of very early days at X-Factor, when Harry and Louis seemed to speak their own language and Liam never knew what they were on about. "Okay," says Harry. "You should go and pack, then."

And that's it, apparently. Ailie wakes up enough that Liam needs to go and change her nappy and get her a bottle, while Louis throws t-shirts – mostly Liam's – into his bag, and Harry texts people. Ailie is a little grumpy at being awake, and all the Drake Liam sings to her doesn't seem to cheer her up.

"She knows I'm leaving," says Louis. He's got his bag all packed and over his shoulder, and Harry says the car is there for them. "But I'll see you in a couple of days, my darling." He pulls faces at her while she stares at him, stone-faced. "Say 'Louis.' Say 'I'll miss you terribly, Uncle Louis.'" 

Ailie sticks out her lower lip and looks rather like a thunderstorm. Liam tries bouncing her a little, but she doesn't appreciate it. 

"Blow kisses," Harry prompts, demonstrating. Ailie still looks murderous, but she does her best approximation of what Harry's doing, which is so cute Liam could melt. 

"Say 'bye bye,'" Liam says, waving, as Harry goes to the door. 

"No," says Ailie instead. She is definitely going to start crying. "Noooo."

Louis gives Liam a quick kiss on the cheek. "Text you later," he says.

"We'll be okay," says Liam, even though he'd like it if Louis just stayed. But Zayn's wedding is the most important thing going on, obviously, and he won't be selfish about it. 

"Bye," says Louis, and then stops and comes back and gives Liam another kiss, on the mouth this time. Liam has a moment when he can't believe Louis is doing that, and then he can't believe Louis is doing it in front of Harry. But Harry already knows, doesn't he? 

"Safe trip, text me when you get in," says Liam. That's what his dad says to his mum when she goes somewhere. Good lord. Why does he sound like his dad? 

Ailie says, "Bye bye. Bye bye!" and starts to cry.

"We have to go before you traumatize her for life," Harry says.

Louis kisses Ailie on the cheek, but she's having none of it. "I'll see you in a couple of days, darling," he promises, but she just says "bye bye" again and throws her bottle on the floor.

"We're going," says Harry firmly. He grabs Louis by the arm and pulls him out the door.

It's very, very quiet in Liam's flat. 

"Bye bye," sobs Ailie.

"We'll see them in a couple of days, sweetheart. Don't worry," Liam says. And then, "I know. I miss him, too." Ailie's getting his shirt all snotty and teary and she's going to need a bath. At least it's something to do, Liam thinks, and carries her off to the washbasin.

—

Ailie fusses and frets and behaves like a completely different baby. She drives Liam rather mad, trying to figure out what she wants. He suspects what she wants is Louis, and he tries to explain to her that Louis will be coming back, and not to worry, but she doesn't believe him. She gives him long angry looks from underneath her surprisingly thick baby lashes, and every look is full of utter betrayal. 

"I didn't tell him to leave," says Liam, trying to persuade her to play with her puppy.

Ailie just stares at him, clearly saying _You didn't ask him to stay, either._

Liam's parents come back and fuss over Ailie, who cheers up a bit, but then Ruth goes off to her boyfriend's, and Nic has to go for a work thing. His dad gets a bit tearful, but then he claps Liam on the back and says, "Never thought I'd be a granddad quite like this, but it's alright, isn't it?"

"I'm glad," says Liam, watching his mum read Ailie a book. "It means the world to me."

"We're going back to Wolverhampton," his dad goes on. "But you'll bring Ailie for Christmas?"

"Her birthday's in a couple of weeks," Liam says. "You'll come down for that?"

"Of course," his dad says. "You'll be alright on your own until then? Your mum'd come and stay."

Liam would love his mum to come and stay. She knows what to do when Ailie cries, and she probably knows all sorts of other baby secrets. "We're fine," Liam says. "I'll be at the wedding all weekend anyway."

"And we'll be down again in a week or two. Can't miss a first birthday." His dad is definitely going to start crying. Liam loves his parents, but they do cry over the smallest things. Not that Ailie is a small thing. "What can we buy her that you can't, though?"

Liam shakes his head. "Don't worry about that. Louis bought her an entire shop. But I can't buy her grandparents, can I?"

His dad gets all choked up at that, and pulls Liam in to a hug. "Imagine that little girl without you," his dad says. "Imagine her in hospital, all by herself."

"I'd rather not," Liam says. 

His dad rubs his eyes with his sleeve. "Is it all done and taken care of? Is she officially yours?"

"S'not all done, no," Liam says. He gets a little twist in his stomach, thinking about Michelle. "But I hope she'll be ours."

"Ours," says his dad. His eyes are all red. Liam tries to imagine telling his dad, after all this, that he screwed it up and Michelle decided he wasn't a fit dad. She'd probably be alright with him and Louis. He hopes so, at least. But there's his whole lifestyle, and the tour, and the paparazzi, and so many other things she wants to see. "You're a good lad, aren't you?"

Liam feels his own eyes starting to prick a little with tears. He knows his dad loves him, but they don't talk about it much. He hears it more second hand, in interviews. "I try," Liam says, and hugs his dad again.

His parents are out the door right after that. Liam tries to get them to stay – it's easy enough for them to stay in his flat, or for him to get them another hotel room – but his mum's got a neighborhood watch meeting in the morning, and his dad's worried all the rain and cold will have killed his bulbs in the garden. 

"Be a good girl, darling," says his mum. Liam's holding Ailie, but his mum kisses Ailie's cheeks, both of them, and squeezes her little hand. "She'll never look like you, will she?" she asks, sounding nearly as tearful as his dad does.

"No, Mum. I don't suppose she will."

His mum makes a choked little noise. "It's a funny thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Mum." Liam hugs her, and then his dad bundles her out for the drive home, and Liam's really, actually alone with Ailie for the first time since Louis first came crashing in.

Ailie's got so much more personality now, somehow. She doesn't like the stacking cups toy, she likes the soft unicorn Harry got her. She doesn't want her bottle, she wants a banana. She doesn't want to go to sleep and hear a story, she wants Liam, and when he tries to turn off the lights and sing her to sleep and then leave, she opens her eyes again and screams. Eventually Liam's too tired to bother to try and leave; he lets her lie in the bed with him, and falls asleep next to her. When he wakes up later, she's taken over nearly as much of the bed as Louis did. Liam picks her up to move her to her cot, and she cries again. 

Liam's tired, and he misses his parents and his sisters and Louis. He lets Ailie cry, because that's what all the baby books he glanced at said he was supposed to do. But she stands in the cot and holds on to the bars like a tiny prisoner, and reaches for him, and it's the worst thing Liam's ever seen.

He can't stand it. He gets her out of the cot again and lets her lie on his chest, sniffling and sobbing and clutching his shirt. If it means that much to her, he'll just stop sleeping and let her do whatever she likes. 

Liam's exhausted and grumpy in the morning, which makes it a little hard that Ailie wakes up so cheerful and loud. He sits her on the floor while he tries to make breakfast, and she bangs a spoon against a pot until Liam thinks his brain is going to come pouring out his ear. He takes the spoon away but she cries until he gives it back. 

That's when Liam realizes that Ailie is punishing him. He let everyone leave. He let Louis leave. And she's going to be a monster until he gets her Louis back.

She won't let Liam put her down, even for a moment. He tries to text Louis and Harry a couple of times, to see how Zayn is doing, but Ailie shrieks and grabs for the phone. He puts her in her high chair to do the washing up, but she sobs and reaches for him. There's no good way to sit her on the edge of the sink while he runs the tap, and she puts her hands in the soap bubbles and flings them all over him and the floor. 

"Holding up alright?" Louis asks. He didn't answer the first two times Liam called.

"Yeah," Liam lies. He puts Ailie on the floor and she immediately drags herself to her feet, holding his joggers, reaching for him and sobbing, "Up, up!" 

"Zayn's going nuts," says Louis. He sounds gleeful. "His family and Perrie's family are having some sort of meltdown over who's paying for the food, and why there isn't a fish option at dinner." 

Liam is almost wistful for problems like those. He carries Ailie out to the sofa and clicks on the television. He's learnt she'll sit still for Finding Nemo, as long as he sits with her. She just waves at the TV, and says "Eemo!" over and over.

"Sounds like an excellent time," says Liam. "Say hi to Louis, Ailie. Say hi!" He hands her the phone, which she takes with both hands. Then she shrieks happily and flings his phone across the room. 

"Shit," says Liam. "Ailie, don't say _that_. Hang on." He jumps off the sofa to go and grab his phone of the floor, while Ailie protests. "Sorry. She got quite excited by the phone and threw it."

"She misses me," says Louis. He sounds smug. 

Liam can't talk about that. "Say hi to Louis," he coaxes Ailie. This time he holds on to the phone. She bangs on it with one hand and says a nonsense noise that might, possibly, in some very hazy way, sound a bit like "Louis." 

"She said my name!" Louis crows.

"Probably," Liam agrees. 

"What a clever girl! The very cleverest! Oh – shit, Liam, I need to run, there's a thing here—" Liam can hear shouting and laughing and what sounds like a giant group of people. "See you in a couple of days," Louis says, and rings off.

Well. Liam feels a bit unloved. He'd be at Zayn's helping with things, normally, except he's with Ailie instead. And he doesn't really want to drag her up there and then carry her around while Zayn's parents and Perrie's parents try and work out what the fish course at the dinner will be. 

Ailie looks at the phone and then expectantly at Liam. "He's rung off, I'm afraid. Bye bye," Liam explains, waving at his phone. "Louis said bye bye."

"Bye bye," Ailie repeats, and her voice is getting a little teary.

God, Liam can _not_ handle being upset at not being with the boys, and Ailie crying at him. "Look, Nemo!" he says, pointing at the television. "See all the fish? And there's a turtle. Isn't he funny, look at the baby turtle!"

"Urble," Ailie repeats, sniffling sadly. 

He picks her up and puts her on his lap and gives her a cuddle. "It's alright. We'll see Louis this weekend," Liam says, but Ailie can't follow that, and she just sighs sadly and shakes her head. She makes Liam feel like such a failure. 

Liam manages lunch and puts Ailie down for a nap, but she's back up in no time, before he's even managed to do the washing up. She's more cheerful, at least, but that means she's always crawling off under the chairs and trying to put everything on the floor in her mouth. She finds her wooden spoon and uses it to bang on everything in sight, until Liam's got a splitting headache.

Liam picks her up and she accidentally – he hopes – smacks him in the face with the spoon. "I love you," Liam says. "Please don't make me want to drop you down a well."

"Aaa, aaa, aaa!" Ailie says, flailing with the spoon. Liam's going to end up with a black eye, and won't that be fun to explain at the wedding. 

"Right," says Liam. "We're going for a walk, because you're driving me slightly insane." He kisses her cheek, not that she understands what he's saying anyway.

She likes putting on her jacket and her hat, although she keeps trying to pull her boots off whenever he looks away. She likes her pushchair as well, shouting as soon as he pulls it out. Maybe she's just tired of being cooped up in his flat, he thinks hopefully, and takes her out.

It's cold and drizzling outside, which doesn't seem to bother Ailie a bit. She waves to everyone who walks past. It's almost like Liam's anonymous; no one's looking at him, everyone's looking at the adorable baby in the panda hat. They get round the corner and down the street and it starts to rain; Ailie's got a little protection from her pushchair, but Liam just pulls his collar up and grumbles. 

It's nice, being outside. Liam needs something to do, and following a baby around on the floor isn't enough to stop him fretting all the time. Ailie seems pleased with it as well, despite the terrible weather. Liam just… He wishes his parents were there. Or Ruth. She'd have funny things to say. Or any of the lads; it would be a nice afternoon out, with no publicity and no obligations. Ailie can't carry on a conversation, although she's very excited about everything she sees. 

Fine; he wishes Louis were there. Louis would be funny and make Ailie laugh. He'd have jokes or maybe a nasty comment. He'd have brought an umbrella, too, because he's cleverer than Liam is. Liam spends an idle few minutes pushing Ailie around the park, imagining what it would be like to kiss Louis outside, in the rain. Lovely, probably. Louis's always warm. Louis's hair would be a little flat from the rain, and his cheeks would be red, and he'd say something withering about how Liam forgot to wear a hat, and then he'd bump Liam with his hip, and grin, and pretend to bite Liam's nose, and—

It occurs to Liam, rather belatedly, that he and Louis behaved rather like boyfriends well before they actually kissed.

Ailie sneezes, which brings Liam back to earth. He turns to bring them back to the flat and get her out of the rain, but he's attracted a little crowd of girls. They've all got their phones out, and he poses for a few pictures because he always tries to, if he can. 

"Is she yours?" one of the girls chirps. "I saw in the Daily Mail… Well. I saw that you had a baby?"

Liam bites back some rather nasty comments about the Daily Mail. "She's mine," he agrees. "Say hello, Ailie." Ailie's gone a bit shy at the crowd, and tries to pull her hat off instead. "Sorry, I've got to get her in out of the cold." There's a disappointed sigh from the girls, and Liam feels bad. He does hate disappointing fans. But Ailie comes first, so he pushes through them as politely as he can and hurries back to his flat. 

He gives Ailie a warm bath and puts her in her penguin sleepsuit, which is still his favorite. She's happy to sit on his lap and have dinner and a bottle, but she waves insistently at the television and says, "Eemo," until Liam puts Finding Nemo back on. Then she sits back, content with her bottle, and makes sleepy little noises to herself. 

Liam has no idea how it's possible, but he's tireder from watching her all day than he is after doing two shows in an afternoon. He starts to doze off as well, but his phone buzzes.

 _Took Ailie for a walk?_ Louis's texted.

Liam stares for a second, and then realizes the girls in the park must have tweeted the pictures of him. _Needed sum fresh airrr_ , he texts back.

There's a little pause, and then Louis texts _have you put Ailie to bed?_

_shes napping on my lap rite now_

_So I SHOULDN'T send you dick pics?_

Liam laughs so loudly he wakes Ailie up, just for a minute. She says, "Nooo," resentfully, and pushes the bottle out of his hand to snuggle in to his shoulder instead. 

It's hard to text Louis with one hand. _I can put her 2 bed??_

His phone rings a minute later. "I've only got a second," Louis says. "Fuck. I miss you. Isn't that stupid? I saw you yesterday."

It's not stupid; it makes Liam feel much, much better. "Just a couple more days," he says. He carries Ailie in to the bedroom and puts her down in her cot. She goes this time, maybe because it's late, and she barely napped. 

"I got all excited about having someone to have sex with, and then it didn't happen," Louis complains. "You're a tease, Liam Payne."

The word _tease_ does funny things to Liam's stomach. "Is teasing a thing you like, then?" he asks. He realizes as soon as he says it that _of course_ it is. This is Louis.

"Shit," says Louis. "If I had an extra ten minutes I'd…"

"You'd what?" Liam asks. He feels a bit breathless. After a second of consideration he closes the door to the bedroom and goes out to sit on the sofa. Whatever Louis's thinking, Ailie probably doesn't need to hear it. 

Louis pauses. "Did you wank last night?" He's dropped his voice a bit; there must be other people near where he is.

"No," says Liam. He slides one hand into his joggers, because just hearing Louis say the word 'wank' has got him a little uncomfortable. "I was too tired. Ailie wouldn’t sleep."

"I was sharing a room with Niall," says Louis. "So no time alone. We could…"

"Yeah?" Liam palms himself through his pants. He hadn't considered phone sex with Louis; they're together about three hundred days a year anyway. But it is odd that they just started this thing, whatever it is, and now Louis's gone. 

"Are you on the sofa?" Louis asks.

"Yeah," says Liam. "Ailie's asleep." 

Louis snorts. "Good, she's not invited."

Liam doesn't particularly want to talk about Ailie. "Where are you?" 

"Hotel. Niall and Harry are getting Zayn a drink at the bar, because Ant and Danny spilled ink on their waistcoats. Don't ask. It's a whole thing. I decided to excuse myself from the whole mess on the grounds that I haven't talked to you in at least an hour or two."

It does something funny to the inside of Liam's chest, like Louis has turned all Liam's internal organs into fluffy pink clouds. He can never tell Louis that, obviously. It does something to Liam's cock as well; it's stiffening in his hand, and he shoves his pants down so he can stroke it a couple of times. "It's nice to be missed," Liam says. His voice has got a bit rough.

"Are you already touching your dick, Liam?" Louis asks, mock-outraged. "I haven't even said anything sexy yet!"

"You don't really have to," Liam admits. 

Louis makes a noise that Liam can only describe as 'crowing smugly.' "My voice does it for you, eh? Just my beautiful voice and your hand and you're ready to go? Bit of a slut for me, aren't you, no offense, just saying the truth."

Louis can't see him; there's no reason for Liam's cheeks to heat up. "Yeah," he says, because it's true. He's had phone sex with girlfriends, and there was always a bit of embarrassing dirty talk involved before it got very interesting, but this – Louis teasing him is enough to make his dick start to feel heavy in his hand, and he's got the first tickling little feelings running through his stomach and his balls. 

"Ha," says Louis, in a satisfied way. "That's fantastic. Your breathing is rather sexy, actually. Can you hear how desperate you sound? It's – Shit, _shit_ , they're back. Liam, stop."

"Stop what?" Liam nearly drops his phone, in case Louis wants him to hang up, in case… Well, Liam's not sure why that would be important for him to do.

"I can't, the boys are back, so you can't either."

It takes Liam a second. "Lou," he whines. "That's not fair."

"It isn't fair to me, either," Louis grumbles. "Jesus, now I have to go and help Zayn learn to tie a bow-tie with half a boner, fucking fabulous."

Liam stills his hand, but his dick aches, and it takes him a bit of persuading himself. "Why can't you just _later_?" Liam complains. 

"No. Listen. It'll be better this way. I won't, and you won't either. In fact, don't until I see you again. It's just a couple of days."

The idea of not wanking again for a couple of days makes Liam's stomach hurt. "How is that better?" He sounds about five years old, he's so whiny.

"It'll be better because the next person to touch your cock'll be me," says Louis. That almost makes sense. "Seriously, haven't you ever waited for it?"

"When I had to," Liam mutters. It's not his favorite thing. He's all for being patient and working hard, but self-denial isn't very fun.

Louis drops his voice again. "I'll make it worth your while. What would you rather; your hand, or my mouth? If you like, you can think about me, trying to pay attention to the wedding, but not quite able to concentrate because all I can think about is your mouth, so there's no way to sit and be comfortable…"

"Fuck, Louis," Liam says. "That's not making it better."

"Ha," says Louis. "Love you, have to go." He clicks the phone off.

Liam tosses his onto the sofa in disgust. Technically he didn't agree to anything, but he's obviously not going to spoil Louis's fun. And thinking about Louis, waiting and aching for him, just makes his dick harder. He digs the heel of his palm into the base of his cock for a minute, and tries to think unsexy thoughts. 

It doesn't really work. He's tired and his balls ache and he wants Louis there, in his flat, on his sofa, preferably squirming underneath him.

But he isn't a cheater. Liam pulls his hand out of his joggers and makes himself take ten deep breaths. Then he goes to check on Ailie, and takes a really long shower, because it's two more days before he sees Louis, and Louis is a bastard.

—

The next day is better and worse; Ailie's in a better mood, but Liam's more bored. He's never been fantastic at being on holiday at home, and there's no one to talk to, because everyone's in Bradford. He takes Ailie to do the shopping and nearly gets crushed by a mob of teenage girls in Asda. That makes Ailie cry, so he takes her home and puts on Finding Nemo for the third time in two days. It's not great for Liam's boredom.

Louis texts a couple of times. _you haven't wanked have you????_ and then _god I'm so fucking desperate for you right now_. Both of them make Liam want to stick his hand down his own pants, but he _can't_. He punches himself in the thigh a couple of times instead, and then grits his teeth and tries not to think about it.

It doesn't work. He spends the entire time he's meant to be making dinner thinking about Louis _not_ touching himself, and then he burns the pizza because he leaves it in the oven too long, and the smoke detector goes off, and Ailie cries. 

Liam loves Ailie, but he'd like to go for a run and clear his head. He hadn't realized what it would actually mean to have a baby every second of every day. It's exhausting and isolating and driving him slightly crazy.

But then he spends half an hour on the floor with her, making Thor the puppy bark at her in silly voices while she shrieks and claps. Liam's never made anyone look so happy in his entire life as Ailie looks for those thirty minutes. It makes him feel as good as any concert ever has. 

"Who was playing with you while you were in hospital?" Liam wonders, while Ailie chews on her puppy's ear. The nurses all seemed lovely, but none of them could possibly have had the time to just sit and play with her. It breaks Liam's heart. "Tomorrow," he says, "you've got a quick check up in the morning, and then we're going to Bradford and you'll see Louis."

Ailie says a whole sentence in response; the sentence just doesn't happen to be in English. He thinks probably she's excited to see Louis, and hopes she missed the bit about needing to see a doctor. 

He packs for himself for the weekend in about five minutes, and then spends fully three hours trying to decide what he will and won't need for the weekend for Ailie. Nappies, obviously. How many bottles? How many sleepsuits? Will she need more than one fancy dress for the wedding? What if she spills something on it? Should he bring the pushchair? How many toys will she need? He ends up sat in a huge pile of Ailie's things, trying to work out if five bags will be too many for three days.

Ailie doesn't want to go to bed, and cries when Liam puts her down. He packs for a few minutes, and then has to go and pick her up and walk around with her for a while. Then he puts her down, and she sleeps for about ten minutes before she's up and crying. 

Liam ends up spending the entire night up and down with Ailie, and he's still not packed in the morning. He's not showered, either. His eyes feel gritty and his neck's sore. 

Ailie's bright and cheerful. "You're a tiny monster," says Liam fondly, kissing her cheek. She squeals and pats his cheek with a hand that's covered in banana mush. 

The driver, Teddy, is a friend, someone who's been driving Liam around for years. Liam carries out Ailie in one arm and has three bags looped over his other arm. "Thought you were going for the weekend?" Teddy asks.

"Dunno how to pack for a baby," Liam says. "This is about half of it. Don't laugh."

Teddy makes a face that says he is certainly thinking about laughing, but he refrains. Liam fills the car up with things for Ailie. He's scared to death he'll forget something and everyone at the wedding will think he's being a crap dad. "You must have known babies need that," Niall will laugh. "Jesus Christ, everyone knows that, Liam!" Liam can hear Niall's voice, he just can't figure out what he's forgetting. 

The stop at the doctor's is a bit traumatizing; Ailie wails and cries and clutches Liam, sobbing, "No, no, no," when they take blood. He's expecting it this time, at least. 

"We need to make sure you're healthy, darling," Liam says, kissing the top of her head. "I promise, it'll be over in a minute."

"Hold her still, please," says the nurse brusquely. Liam doesn't like her. How anyone can listen to Ailie cry and not care, he doesn't understand. Liam hugs Ailie tighter so the nurse can get her arm. Ailie is crying so hard he's worried she'll be sick. 

"Please, Ailie. Please calm down," Liam pleads quietly. He sings a little bit of the Beatles to Ailie, bouncing her as much as he can while the nurse does things with needles. Liam remembers those needles, and those tests. He hated them, too. 

When they're done, Liam kisses her arm and says, "All better. See? All better," but Ailie doesn't believe him the way she believed Louis. She clutches his shirt and cries until they can go, and then she cries in the car until she's cried herself to sleep.

 _I'm shit at thissss_ Liam texts Louis. He snaps a picture of Ailie's face, still red and blotchy and tear-stained, even asleep. 

Liam's nearly asleep in the car, too, before Louis texts back. _hospital? That's shit. :( poor baby_

 _she haaaaaaates me_ Liam sends. He doesn't think that's true, not really, because Ailie's clutching his hand in her car seat. But he doesn't feel fantastic about how he couldn't get her to stop crying. _bet a real dad culd have cheared her up_

His phone rings. "I'm going to give you such a smack when you get here," says Louis fiercely. "If you ever say 'real dad' again I'll… I'll… Fuck, Liam. Who was there to take her to the doctor? You were. That's being a real dad."

"What if something awful happened to her parents?" Liam says. He hadn't asked. But he feels guilty saying anything nasty about them.

"Fuck them. You're there with her right now."

Liam closes his eyes and tips his head back against the car seat. "I think she likes you better than me."

He expects Louis to make a joke about Ailie having good taste. He waits for it for a long minute. "Dunno, Liam," says Louis quietly. "I don't know if I could do it."

"What? Look after Ailie?"

"It's _so much_ and I'm not as selfless as you. You're the only person I know who's got all the money and time in the world and decides to use it to look after a baby with a poorly kidney. I'm good for a laugh, but… Not sure I'd be a good full-time dad. You're amazing."

"What?" says Liam, honestly floored. He opens his eyes again. He frees his hand from Ailie, but she makes a fretful noise, so he gives her Thor to snuggle instead. 

"I'm not saying it again, Payno. Don't fish for compliments."

That sounds more like the prickly Louis that Liam knows. "I wasn't," Liam protests, but he thinks Louis knew that. "You'd do it. Of course you would."

"You're the only one of us that's done charity work and come home with a baby," Louis points out. "Now hurry up and get here, because I haven't had a wank in three days and it's all your fault."

"It's _yours_ ," Liam points out. "This was your idea."

There's voices behind Louis, he's obviously not alone, but he drops his voice. "Have you got any idea how hot it is, picturing you waiting for me? Are you all wound up? Feeling a bit desperate for it?"

"Yes," says Liam, glancing a bit guiltily up at Teddy, driving. He can't hear the phone, and neither can Ailie, but it's a bit embarrassing anyway. 

"God," Louis says. "I want to put my mouth on every inch of you."

Liam has to close his eyes and bite his lip for a second. "Shut up," he says. "Can you please shut up until I get there and you can do something about it? I've got a baby next to me."

"Nobody touches your dick but me," Louis almost growls. He sounds so smug. Liam has to adjust himself, and he hopes Teddy isn't looking in the mirror to see. 

"I'm hanging up," says Liam firmly, because he's exhausted and his head hurts, and his baby's still sniffling in her sleep, and he can't do anything about the ache in his balls right now. "Goodbye." 

"See you sooooooo—" Louis says, but Liam clicks the phone off. 

"How long until we're there?" Liam calls to Teddy.

"Depends on traffic," Teddy says. "Might be a while."

Liam wishes he could throw his head back and cry like Ailie does. "Right," he says. "I'm going to try and nap." He balls up his jacket and jams it into the corner of the car and tries to close his eyes and relax. 

— 

It's a million years before they get to the hotel in Bradford. Or maybe it's not a million years, but Liam can't sleep, and he's tired enough that he aches all over. Ailie wakes up when the car stops, with a tetchy little crying noise, so Liam undoes all the buckles on her seat and pulls her into his lap.

She blinks at him, and maybe she's forgotten about the horror at the doctor's earlier, but maybe she hasn't; her lower lip trembles and he kisses her cheek and says, "Darling, darling, darling," quietly, and then blows a little raspberry. She giggles tiredly and bats at his face.

Liam opens the car door. There's a crowd of fans in front of the hotel, behind a barricade. On the other side are mostly family and friends; he recognizes a producer from their last album, and a friend of Jade's. He gets a couple of hellos, and he smiles tiredly, but mostly he just wants to elbow his way through the crowd and find Louis, and then a bed to lie down in. Maybe not in that order. 

He's got Ailie in one arm and he grabs a bag with the other before he realizes he can't possibly get everything in. "I'll get it," says Teddy, shaking his head. 

"I thought – I mean – Yeah, cheers," says Liam, because he wants to do it himself but obviously he can't, so he might as well be gracious about it. Ailie claps her hands. 

She's perked right up, and good thing, because when they get inside, the boys are waiting. Zayn's with Perrie, who holds her arms out and says, "Oh my god, look at her little _face_!"

Perrie's reaching for Ailie, and Harry's reaching for her too, but it's Louis who gets there first. He might be magic. "There's my girl," he says. 

Ailie missed him, clearly, because her whole face lights up, and she reaches for him with a happy shriek. Louis rubs their noses together while Liam tries to hold himself together and not get teary that his baby and his boyfriend – if either of them are really his – love each other so much.

Everyone crowds around Louis; Harry's cooing to get Ailie's attention, and Perrie tries to reach around Louis to get to her. Zayn's right behind Perrie, demanding his rights as godfather, which starts Harry in on, "Who chose _you_?" Somewhere in there, Louis surrenders Ailie to Perrie and slips out of the circle of people and back to Liam.

"How are you?" Louis asks. He leans in and Liam thinks maybe he's going for a kiss, but then he stops. He grabs Liam's hand instead.

"Tired," says Liam.

"You look good." Louis edges a little bit closer, and maybe even tries to subtly roll his hips against Liam's. He's not fantastic at subtle, Liam thinks fondly. 

Liam laughs. "I haven't showered, and I've got bits of Ailie's lunch, and snot, and tears all over my shirt, which I've been wearing for two days anyway."

"Sexy," Louis insists.

Liam's not flattered, but he can't really take the way Louis's crowded into his space. At least, not if he can't do anything about it. "I think you're just hard up for it," he says quietly. 

"Well, I haven't had sex in _days_ ," Louis says, almost in Liam's ear. Liam shivers. It's not _fair_ they're in public.

"I'm keeping her forever!" Perrie announces, holding Ailie up like she's holding up Simba. 

Teddy's brought in three loads of bags from the car and dumped them all by Liam. "Did you pack for a year?" Louis asks, one eyebrow up.

"I wasn't sure what I'd need," Liam says. 

"Did you think you were taking her to the moon?" Louis shakes his head. "Where's a clean shirt for you, then? Let's get you cleaned up and presentable."

"You just want to shower with me," Liam grumbles, and then stops, because he's not sure that's true. Louis's eyes light up, though, which makes Liam go a little red, which makes Louis wiggle even closer. "Where _is_ my bag?" Liam asks, frowning. Everything they're surrounded by is Ailie's.

"Did you forget your fucking suitcase?" Louis asks. "You numpty. Good thing your suit was already here."

"I was tired," Liam explains. He can't imagine where his bag is. Is it still sat sadly in his bedroom? He sort of wants to lie down on the floor of the hotel in protest of life being so difficult and exhausting.

Louis shouts, "Liam fucking forgot his own bag, I'm taking him upstairs to find him something to change into. Perrie, Harry, have you got the baby?"

"I do!" Perrie says, and high-fives Zayn. Harry narrows his eyes. Liam thinks maybe they're going to fight it out in a minute.

"Just bring her upstairs when you're tired of her," he says, but Ailie's loving the attention and happy as a clam. "It's not fair," Liam says to Louis, "she's been a mardy little monster for days. She wouldn't stop crying."

"She just missed us," says Louis. "Call before you bring her up, eh?" he says to Harry, elbowing him. Harry gives them both a very knowing look, which makes Liam blush again, but then Louis drags him into the lift.

The doors have barely dinged shut when Louis crowds up against Liam, kissing him. He presses Liam back into the handrail, pressing their hips together. He kisses like it's been a lot longer than three days. 

"Did you miss me, then?" Liam asks breathlessly. He wonders what Louis would have done if someone else had been in the lift. He imagines it wouldn’t have been much different.

"Shut up," says Louis, and kisses him again. He's so ferocious that Liam's head bangs back against the mirrored wall of the lift. He already has a headache, but he doesn't really mind. Louis smells good and he feels better; Liam puts his hands on Louis's arse and pulls him closer. He's never really appreciated before how fantastic it is that Louis's a head shorter than him. Suddenly it's very, very important.

The lift doors ding open and Louis breaks away long enough to say, "Come on, my room."

"I've abandoned my baby," protests Liam weakly.

"I think she'll survive for a few minutes," says Louis. "And you couldn't get her back from Harry now anyway." He fumbles out his keycard and opens the door to a hotel room, but Liam has no idea what the room looks like, or if the lights are on or off, because Louis's kissing him again.

It's mad how kissing Louis makes him feel like he's lost complete control of his life, and he doesn't really mind. Liam tries to pull at Louis's t-shirt but they're pressed too closely together to get anywhere. Louis shoves Liam's joggers down and hooks his fingers in Liam's pants to shove those down, too. 

"I should shower," Liam says, turning his face away. He can't breathe properly, he's too keyed up. It feels like just seeing Louis has made his dick harder than anything else in his entire life, and having Louis's hands near it is almost painful. 

"You can shower after," Louis says. "You're going to shower after, anyway."

They fall on Louis's bed together, and Louis spends a minute throwing pyjamas and shirts and socks off the bed to make room. "Very sexy, glad you tidied for me," Liam says, pulling his own shirt off and kicking his joggers off properly. His pants are already damp where his cock is straining against them. 

"At least I've got lube," Louis says, and Liam shuts up, because Louis's getting naked as well, and he looks glorious. He manages to be tanned in the middle of winter in England, and his hair is soft and already disheveled, and Liam has always loved the soft swell of his belly and the round curve of his bum. Liam climbs on top of him, because he can, pinning Louis to the bed for a proper kiss, knees bracketing Louis's hips and hands on Louis's biceps. He pushes Louis down a little and feels Louis strain in return. His cock is already flushed and hard, too, and that makes Liam feel fantastic. 

Louis presses up against him and there's a moment of almost wrestling; Louis trying to push him over and Liam trying to push Louis down. But then Liam gives in and lets Louis shove him onto his back, because he always does, and having Louis sat, breathless and smug, on his thighs is worth losing anything. "Get these off," Louis says, pulling at Liam's pants and throwing them on the floor. 

"Don't lose those in the mess," Liam says. "I guess I didn't bring any others."

"Oh, what a tragedy for me, knowing you're walking around with no pants on all day," Louis says. Liam pinches his thigh half-heartedly, and gets tickled in retaliation. 

"I'm not going to Zayn's reception without pants," Liam says, and tries to sound firm about it. Giving Louis ideas is always terrible. 

Louis has already lost interest. "Have you really not wanked since you saw me last?" he asks. He runs his hand up and down Liam's cock, and Liam's hips jerk off the bed.

"No," says Liam, gritting his teeth. "And you're a bastard and I don't like you anymore."

"Lies," says Louis happily. His hand is too loose and too gentle to do Liam any good, so Liam puts his hands on Louis's thighs and digs his fingers in. "God, look at you. You are fit, aren't you?" Louis's hand wanders up Liam's stomach and across his chest.

"Haven't had time to work out since I got Ailie," says Liam. He can feel the lack of it in his chest and his thighs. He wouldn't be starting to shake like this, if he were as fit as usual. 

Louis makes a little humming noise to himself. His hand is whisper-light on Liam's abs and tracing the v of his hips; it's actually going to make Liam lose his mind. He's clutching Louis's thighs hard enough that he's going to leave bruises. "I volunteer to babysit so you can do all those press ups and pull ups and sit ups and horrible things. Actually, I want to watch. Let's make Zayn babysit."

"Will you _do_ something?" Liam bursts out. His cock is flush against his stomach and it feels like, if Louis doesn't get on with it, Liam is going to die. 

Louis grins. "It's so hot that you waited for me. The hottest thing I can think of." He leans down and kisses Liam's chest, and up his neck. 

Louis starts to dig his teeth into Liam's neck, and Liam squeezes his hands into Louis's thigh, just under his arse. "You can't," Liam says breathlessly, tipping his head back. "Photographs at the wedding."

"Fine," says Louis, and crawls down Liam's body until he's crouched over Liam's cock. Liam can't help his hips canting up again, but Louis ignores him. He puts his mouth on Liam's hip, just above the bone, and starts sucking angry red marks into Liam's skin. 

He manages two before Liam honestly can't stand it. His chest feels like he hasn't breathed in days, and his legs are starting to shake. He grabs Louis's arm and pulls him up into a kiss that's a lot more rough and desperate than Liam meant it to be, and Louis laughs against his mouth. And then Liam flips them over again and Louis stops laughing. 

Liam wants to get his mouth on every part of Louis, but he hasn't got the patience right now. He kisses his way down Louis's chest and when Louis wiggles, Liam gives him a sharp bite on his nipple. The way Louis stills makes Liam think maybe he enjoyed that. Liam was a little nervous, last time, because he hasn't actually seen many other cocks up close and personal, but he likes Louis's, and he's too desperate to worry much. He gets his hand around the base of Louis's cock and licks his way across the tip. He gives Louis a real pinch this time when he tries to buck his hips up. 

Louis's hands come up into Liam's hair. "Fuck, do it, then," Louis orders. He sounds bossy but breathless. He sounds almost as desperate as Liam feels. Liam feels pretty confident when he slides his mouth over Louis's' cock, and the noise Louis makes – hiccupping and moaning and maybe a little broken – makes Liam grin. He's surprised at how much he likes the weight and heat of Louis's cock in his mouth. He's not surprised at how much he likes making Louis wiggle and groan and tug on his hair with little helpless digs that make sparks fly behind Liam's eyes and his own cock feel heavy and unbearably ready.

"Liam," Louis gasps, and pulls harder on his hair. His hips jerk up and his cock bumps the back of Liam's throat. Liam's eyes water, but he doesn't pull off; this is what he wants. He wants to make Louis come, and he wants to feel it. His jaw is starting to ache and his arm is tired of holding him up, but it's worth it, because Louis can't even make words. And then Louis's hips jerks up again and he comes.

Liam thought it would be bitterer, or nastier; he almost likes the taste. He certainly likes it when he sits back and wipes his face off with the back of his hand, and Louis looks at him like Louis wants to devour him. 

He sits there for a minute, still straddling Louis, while Louis lies there and breathes so heavily Liam thinks everyone in the hotel lobby can probably hear him. Liam considers just putting his hand on his own cock and taking care of himself, because if he doesn't come soon he's going to die. He also thinks, a little guiltily, that he needs to get back to Ailie. 

But then Louis's eyes flutter open, and he puts his hand on top of Liam's. "I want you to fuck me," Louis says. His voice is dark and rusty and amazing.

Liam has to put a hand around his own cock, because it feels like he's going to tip over the edge and come, just from that. Just from the _word_. 

"I've had it worse than you," Louis says. "I was watching loads of porn on my phone the whole time I wasn't helping Zayn. And then _not_ wanking."

"Stop talking about it or I'm going to come," Liam says, trying not to picture that. "Fuck, Lou."

Louis rolls over and leans off the bed so he can get something out of his suitcase. It gives Liam an excellent view of his arse, wiggling around, and Liam leans over and slaps it, because he can. Louis kicks at Liam half-heartedly, and then climbs back onto the bed. "Lube," he says. "I bought some. Basically, I'm better than you in every single way."

Liam laughs. "You're such a knob. Why do I even like you? Why do I put up with you?"

"Because I'm going to let you fuck me," Louis says. He squirts lube all over his hand and then stretches his arm behind himself. "Here's what I learned from porn. Fingers first."

Liam has to close his eyes, because if he watches Louis finger himself he's going to come. Honestly, he's not sure he's going to get far with fucking Louis anyway, because it feels like _everything_ is going to push him over the edge. "Fingers first works on girls, too," Liam points out.

"Not quite the same, is it," Louis says. Liam cracks his eyes open again. Louis's got his head tipped back and his eyes half shut. He's flushed all down his chest. "I admit, I've done this before."

Liam has, too, but he's never said so out loud. "I think lots of blokes do?" he tries.

"Are you giving me the 'everyone's a bit kinky' speech?" Louis asks incredulously. "Here. Good enough. Condom." He throws a condom at Liam with one hand as he wiggles down the bed. 

"Everyone _is_ a bit kinky," Liam says, tearing the condom open. "I got Niall's suitcase by mistake once, you wouldn't _believe_ what I found."

"What if you shut up and fucked me," Louis asks. He's on his back, arching up off the bed with his fingers still inside himself, and the strain in his thighs makes Liam's stomach clench. 

"Good point," Liam says. He rolls the condom on and goes on his hands and knees, crawling on top of Louis. Then he leans down and kisses the inside of Louis's thigh, working his way up until he's back at Louis's cock. 

"Okay," says Louis. "Come on. I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" Liam asks. "It seems quick."

"We have other things to do today, Liam," Louis says. He sounds a little snappish, which means he's nervous, so Liam leans down and kisses him until Louis brings both of his hands up to Liam's shoulders and pulls him closer. Liam pushes one of Louis's legs up so he can get closer, and then he uses his other hand to guide himself until he's pressing against Louis's entrance. 

"Really?" Liam asks carefully, mouthing along Louis's jaw.

"Absolutely," says Louis, tipping his chin up. Liam isn't sure, but he's also not sure he can wait any longer, so he pushes in, as gently as he can. For a minute it's too tight, and he can see pain on Louis's face. But then it gets better, and Liam pushes all the way in, and god, it feels _amazing_. Liam feels hot all over, and shaky, and desperate, and he's not sure he can ever do anything again.

"Come on, move," Louis says, so Liam does. " _Yes_ ," says Louis. "Fuck, yes. You should see your face right now, every fucking wank fantasy come true, so fucking fit, so fucking _hot_ —"

"Shut up," Liam grits out, moving faster. 

Louis can't seem to stop talking. "Kinky as fuck, not touching yourself, only doing it when I say you can, _knew_ you were dirty, so fucking fit, no one else gets to touch you like I do. _Mine_."

Maybe it's the way Louis growls _mine_ or maybe it's that Liam's been waiting literally days, but Liam comes before he realizes he's going to. He feels it from his toes to his fingers, white and hot all over his body, waves and waves of release that feel like he's drowning.

There's a hazy bit, where he pulls out, and Louis does something with the condom, and Liam lies there on the bed feeling dirty and sore and fantastic. His heart is still pounding when Louis curls up next to him. "Not bad," Louis says, in the way that means _fucking amazing_.

"Better next time," Liam tries. He's so tired. He was tired before all this started; he's never going to move again.

Louis kisses his temple. "I expect it's the sort of thing that gets better with practice. You do need a shower. You smell like a baby's bottle."

"Smell like you," Liam says, and closes his eyes, just for a minute.

Next thing Liam knows, Louis is nudging him gently. "Hey," Louis says. "Is Daddy sleeping? Say, 'wake up, Daddy.' Wake up!"

It's a weird thing for Louis to say, well beyond the slightly-kinky Liam was expecting. He opens his eyes and there's Louis, fully dressed, and holding Ailie, stood by the bed.

"What?" Liam asks, and his voice sounds like he hasn't used it in days. 

"You've had a nice long nap, and now you need a shower so we can take Ailie down to dinner," says Louis. 

Liam just stares at him. He feels a bit like he was hit by a truck. "What? What time is it?"

"Nearly five. I tried to let you sleep but you can't miss dinner with everyone. Ailie's met about a thousand aunties and uncles but obviously she likes me best." Ailie claps happily, but then twists in Louis's arms, reaching for Liam.

"Hi, sweetheart," Liam says, taking her. He's under a blanket, which he doesn't remember. "I hope you were good for everyone."

"She's an angel," says Louis firmly. "Now get your arse up and into the shower. We're going to be late."

Liam ignores him, because he's very busy pretending to eat Ailie's fingers and making her laugh. Eventually he gets tired of Louis sighing impatiently at him, though, and rolls out of bed. "Can you help her put on something nicer than that?" Liam says. "She's got about a thousand dresses. Where are my bags?"

"Your bags are all in my room," says Louis, nodding toward the enormous pile of luggage in the corner. Liam doesn't remember hearing any of it brought up. He notices that Louis isn't looking directly at him, like maybe Liam'll be cross about having his stuff hijacked. Liam obviously isn't cross about it. "We'll find a pretty party dress, won't we, Ailie? Won't we find something adorable? Do you want something pink? Or something blue? Or something purple? How about with bows on?"

"She's not going to answer you," Liam says. Ailie squeals and says a lot of nonsense words.

"I understand her perfectly," says Louis. "Go and shower or I won't let you borrow any of my clothes and you'll have to go to dinner naked."

"You wish," says Liam, rolling his eyes, but he goes and has a long hot shower. Between the nap, the shower, and finally getting off, he feels about a thousand percent more like a human. "Louis, have you got anything I can wear?"

"I found you some jeans, and you can borrow a t-shirt," Louis says. He opens the bathroom door and throws some clothes at Liam. "Bought you some clean pants, as well. Honestly, what would you do without me?"

Liam bites his lip, because he doesn't want to say anything unbearably sappy that would make Louis tetchy. "Cheers," he says instead.

"You can't borrow a button-up shirt because you work out so you look like a ridiculous monster person," Louis goes on. Liam snorts at him. "But that's your own fault, and we'll get one from someone. Come and look at the dress Ailie picked."

Liam comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He doesn't miss the once-over Louis gives him, but he ignores it, because Ailie's in the room. She's in a little pink cloud of a dress, covered in bows and frills. She's sat on the floor and is industriously trying to pull her socks off, one foot at a time. "She looks amazing," Liam says. "She looks like some sort of fancy fairy floss confection." Ailie turns and looks at him, holding her arms up and shouting to be picked up. Louis swoops in with Thor the puppy to distract her, and to try and get her socks back on while Liam gets dressed.

The jeans fit, the t-shirt is too tight, and Liam could throw Louis on the bed and kiss him all over for handling everything. He has to settle for bumping Louis with his hip as he takes Ailie, and saying, "You're the best." 

"Of course I am," Louis says, preening. 

Some day, Liam is going to try and make a list of all the things he likes best about Louis, and 'incredibly obnoxious false self-confidence' will be up near the top, and he won't be able to explain to anyone _why_. It's a bit hopeless, really. Liam thinks about it in the lift downstairs to dinner, while Louis tries to teach Ailie how to play pattycake, and Ailie fails to do anything but laugh at him. 

Dinner is all of everyone's families; Liam can spot Zayn's sisters, and some cousins, and grandparents, and then Perrie's mum, and her extended family. They're all trying to mingle in a fancy dining room with chandeliers, so it's a bit loud. Everything is white and crisp and covered in flowers and lights. Ailie doesn't like it; she puts her hands over her ears for a minute, and then pulls on Liam's t-shirt demandingly. Liam's underdressed, but he supposes that's his own fault for forgetting all his clothes.

Harry pops out of the crowd. "There's my favorite party goer," he says. He kisses Ailie's nose and she giggles and bats her eyes like every other girl Liam's seen Harry smile at all around the world. "You look better, too," says Harry, squinting at Liam. "Less like you're about to keel over."

"He had a nice nap," says Louis.

" _Did_ he?"

"Yes," says Louis, unflappable and bland. "He did."

Harry rolls his eyes a little. "You'll have to come up with something better than 'napping' you know. I saw your faces. People on the moon probably saw your faces."

"There aren't people on the moon," Louis says, clearly prepared for a bigger fight. Liam bumps him lightly with his elbow. Harry's not the problem, here. The problem is the two of them and whether or not they want anyone to know. 

"It's a good thing I already told Zayn and Niall," Harry says, shaking his head.

"We were going to do that," Louis protests.

"Yeah, well, you didn't," says Harry. 

"Give us thirty seconds, we're still working out the kinks," Louis grumbles. Liam chokes on nothing, even though he knows Louis doesn't mean kink like that. Not right now, at least. Or maybe, given the way Louis arches an eyebrow at him, he does. 

Harry shakes his head. "Go and talk to Zayn," he directs Liam. "I'll take the baby."

"No, I've got her," Liam says. If he puts the baby down, Zayn might get angry and mumbly, and it's his party. Liam doesn't want Zayn to get angry-mumbly at his own dinner party. He gives Harry a tight smile and leaves him to carry on his almost-fight with Louis. 

Liam knows that Harry's just concerned about the band. He's got the same concerns himself. They're on a break at the moment, and it's medium-difficult balancing his parents and his life and how much he wants to spend every second in bed with Louis. When they're on the road and every minute is scheduled and they've got no private time, he has no idea how it'll work. 

Zayn is with Perrie, both of them looking amazing and chatting to Perrie's mum. "There's my baby!" Perrie squeals. "Look what a pretty little girl you are. What a beautiful, clever little girl." She grabs one of Ailie's feet and wiggles it around a little, and Ailie squeals back at her. 

"I wanted to say hi," says Liam. The look Zayn gives him is halfway between affectionate and ready to peel paint of the walls. "Ailie, say hi to Zayn." He holds Ailie's hand and makes her wave, until she shakes him off and waves by herself. She likes waving. 

"Ailie and I had a nice cuddle while you were sleeping," says Zayn. He makes sleeping sound like a grave betrayal. "Pez, can you—"

"Yeah, of course," says Perrie easily, waving him off and turning back to her mum. 

Zayn pulls Liam and Ailie into a corner. Everywhere is full of people, and a waiter offers Liam a drink, which he waves off. He can't drink and look after Ailie in this crowd. "What the hell, Liam," Zayn says. Luckily, upset Zayn is just like regular Zayn, but he mutters to himself more. "Last I heard you weren't going to do anything with Louis because you were concerned about the band. And now Harry tells me you two are—" He stops and looks at Ailie. "Napping."

"I really did fall asleep," Liam says weakly. Zayn crosses his arms. He shouldn't have to look so cross at his own wedding dinner, Liam thinks guiltily. "Sorry. We did talk about keeping it quiet until after the wedding. I didn't mean to be a distraction."

"I'm not upset because it's a _distraction_ ," Zayn says. "God. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It just happened," Liam says.

"Like Ailie just happened?"

Liam spends a minute rearranging all of Ailie's ruffles and bows. "I've been a bit impulsive lately, I suppose," he says.

"You're losing your fucking mind, mate." Zayn stops to smile at Ailie and pull a silly face with his tongue out. She looks mildly upset by the whole conversation, and starts wiggling to get down. Liam puts her on the floor, but she wants to hold his hands so she can balance herself on her feet. Liam crouches so he can hold her fingers and let her stand, and Zayn crouches with them as well. "Is it alright? Is Louis being a twat? He hasn't freaked out, has he?"

Liam shakes his head. "No. No, Zayn, honestly, it's fine. It wasn't even a big thing, I just accidentally kissed him. I didn't know what he was going to do, I thought he might punch me, but he kissed me back instead, and it's just… It's been really easy."

"Huh," says Zayn. Ailie stomps her feet and shouts. Zayn taps her on the nose and makes her giggle.

"Yeah," says Liam, "it's a bit weird. I don't know why he kissed me back. I don't know why he hasn't flipped out about me fancying him."

"Well, that's just stupid," says Zayn. "Obviously he fancies you as well, or he wouldn't have—" he glances at Ailie "—napped with you."

"I hope so," says Liam. "Or maybe we're both just a bit lonely."

Zayn punches Liam in the arm. Ailie wiggles out of his grasp and crawls energetically across the floor toward the cocktail tables. Liam and Zayn tag along behind her. "That's rubbish," says Zayn. "He wouldn't, if he didn't want to. It's Louis. He doesn't do anything he doesn't want to. He's always been a bit weird about you. Just like you've always been a bit weird about him."

"We just get on really well," says Liam. "I mean, after the first few months. Once we got to know each other."

"You're bloody When Harry Met Sally, is what you are," says Zayn. "You know that now you can never break up, yeah?"

"Dunno if we're actually together," Liam admits. "But I know. Don't worry. Even when we fight, him and me don't actually fight. We won't split up the band, or be jerks to each other in interviews."

"You're already jerks in interviews," says Zayn. Ailie's crawled under a tablecloth, so Liam has to go after her and pull her out again. She shouts her protest and half of Zayn's family looks over. "Are you two planning a press release and all?"

Ailie doesn't want to be picked up, and she starts to complain and cry when Liam pulls her into his arms. He leans back to avoid tiny flailing limbs. Everything is so beautifully white, he's terrified she'll yank on the tablecloth and break all the dishes. "No. We were just planning to carry on like always and see how it worked out. Calm down, sweetheart. It's alright. You just can't crawl under the table and make a big mess." Ailie throws her head back furiously and starts to cry. Liam asks despairingly, "Oh my god, where's my lovely baby gone?" 

Zayn swipes a serviette off a table and hands it to Liam to try and get some of the tears off Ailie's face. "You're going to handle this, and Louis, and touring," Zayn says. "You're sure?"

"Well, not on my own," Liam says. He gives Zayn a bit of a hopeful look. "You know I couldn't do all this on my own, right?"

Ailie's kicking and crying and several of the mums at the dinner are starting to edge toward Liam. "No, no, no, no!" she wails. He's getting used to the idea that when Ailie cries, every woman in earshot will come over to try and tell him what he ought to be doing. 

"Does she need a bottle?" Waliyha asks. 

"Do you need someone to hold her?" Safaa chimes in. 

"Never all on your own," says Zayn. He claps Liam on the shoulder and looks just a little bit teary. "Don't worry about that, mate."

"I knew I wouldn't have to," says Liam. He wants to add _I love you loads and loads_ but he knows that Zayn knows, and Louis would take the piss forever if he overheard. 

And there's Louis, swooping in out of nowhere. "What have you done to my princess?" he asks, taking Ailie out of Liam's arms.

"She wanted to go exploring under the table," says Liam. Ailie cries on Louis's shoulder while Louis bounces her and holds her hand, crooning something under his breath. 

"You can't stifle her curiosity like that," says Louis. "There, Daddy just wanted to keep you out of trouble. He can't help being a bit boring. Don't worry. I'll take you under the table and we can make a fort, alright? Stop crying, there's a good girl." Ailie settles into a quiet sniffle. Louis puts her down on the floor and she sets out for under the table again. Louis follows her, and they both vanish underneath the tablecloth.

"Well," says Zayn. 

Liam bites his lip, because he's smiling like a dope. Louis's so cute with Ailie, and Ailie's so cute with him, and he wants to crawl under the table with them and make a fort, only all three of them probably won't fit. 

"Yeah, okay," says Zayn. "As long as you're happy. Fuck, you should see your face right now." He pulls Liam into a hug, and Liam still can't stop grinning for no good reason. Zayn kisses Liam's forehead. "I'm gonna go and find the missus. Try and get your baby and your Louis out from under my table, please."

"I can't make either of them do anything," Liam protests, but Zayn's walked off.

Liam looks around. There are still a couple of women watching him dubiously, and Liam gives them a little smile and an apologetic shrug, and then bends in half to pull back the tablecloth. Louis is sat with Ailie in the V of his legs, while she bangs a spoon on the carpet. "Hello," says Louis. "Can you bring me a drink?"

"You're going to sit under the table and drink?" 

Louis grins. "It stops Ailie crying, doesn't it? Champagne, please."

"Yeah," says Liam. "Okay." He lets the tablecloth drop again and flags down a waiter to get a couple of glasses of champagne. He sits down on the carpet, ignoring the funny looks he's getting, and pulls the tablecloth back to give Louis one of the champagne flutes. "You set down here, then?"

"Yeah, I reckon me and Ailie are good for a while. Go and mingle. And bring me loads of snacks." Louis salutes with his champagne.

Liam does his best to mingle; he makes a weird vine video with Harry, and talks to Jade a while about Little Mix's next tour. He checks in on Louis a couple of times, but Ailie's pretty content under the table, and eventually crawls out to explore the rest of the room. Every time Liam looks over, Louis's following her around, close enough to stop her putting things in her mouth, but giving her enough space that she doesn't scream and cry. Eventually Liam sees her playing with an empty wine bottle on the floor, and while it's adorable, it's not really what he wants everyone to see her doing, so he swoops in and scoops her up. 

"I was going to stop her, I swear," Louis says. "It was just so cute I wanted to Instagram it first." He holds up his phone. He's got a picture of Ailie holding the wine bottle like she's looking for a drink.

"Don't tweet that, though, please?" Liam asks. Ailie's happy enough to be picked up now. Her dress is all twisted and disheveled and she yawns and pats his face. "I'm going to see what I can find her to eat, and maybe some juice. Dinner hasn't even started, and I'm going to need to take her up to bed soon."

Louis hooks his chin over Liam's shoulder. "We need a nanny. Someone who can take her upstairs for us so you and me can get drunk and have a good time." His dick is pressing against Liam's bum. 

When Liam turns, their faces are so close together that it's hard to stop himself from kissing Louis in front of everyone. "Well, we haven't got a nanny yet," he says. It's a good idea. And he doesn't miss Louis saying ' _we_ need a nanny.' 

Of all people, Perrie's mum finds Ailie some crackers and fruit, a little bit of chicken, and a cup of milk. She sounds just like Perrie, and she doesn't seem at all offended when halfway through, Ailie upends juice all over her fancy dress. 

"Shit, I'm so sorry," Liam says, lunging for a serviette. 

"I've had two babies, it's fine," says Perrie's mum. Her sparkly dress is a bit sticky, though, and Liam feels terrible. Ailie yawns and sniffles and says a load of sleepy nonsense words. "Did you bring a pram? She could nap in it while you eat dinner."

"I didn't think of it," says Liam ruefully. 

Zayn's mum pats him on the shoulder. "It's alright, you're new at this. You'll learn the tricks eventually. She is a sweetheart, isn't she?" 

Ailie's sniffling in the way Liam's learned means she's going to cry soon. "You'd think so," says Liam. He lets both of the mums fuss and coo over Ailie until she gets fretful and whiny. He suspects she's had too many people in one day.

Harry comes over and asks if he can steal Ailie away; Liam lets him, because Harry's always been good when Lux and Brooklyn were a bit tetchy. Sure enough, Ailie falls asleep on Harry's shoulder while Harry's talking to Perrie's brother.

"He's probably telling a story," Louis says quietly in Liam's ear. Liam jumps; he hadn't realized how close Louis was. Louis puts a hand on Liam's waist. Not very subtle, Liam thinks, and isn't really sorry. "A Harry story would put any baby to sleep."

"If he wants to babysit, I don't mind, do you?" Liam asks. 

Louis offers him a flute of champagne. "Can I get you drunk and take advantage of you?" he asks hopefully.

"We're sharing a room with a baby," Liam says. "Or at least, I am. You can get a good night's sleep if you want. I've probably got my own hotel room somewhere." It seems polite at least to offer. Louis has no idea how hard it can be to sleep when Ailie's in a mood.

"I suppose, if you'd prefer," Louis says. His voice is flat, and Liam can see in his face that he's hurt Louis's feelings somehow. 

"Or we can stay with you," says Liam. He doesn't quite have the nerve to kiss Louis in a room full of friends and strangers, but he turns so he's speaking directly into Louis's ear, mouth against Louis's cheek. "I'd rather stay with you."

He can feel Louis crack a tiny smile. "You haven't been invited," Louis huffs. He tightens his hand on Liam's waist, and Liam relaxes. That means Louis isn't upset anymore. He has a moment to think about how odd it is that he knows that; that they've only been maybe-dating a few days and he knows just what tone of voice means Louis's in a sulk, and what sort of bitchiness means everything is fine. 

"I'd really like to kiss you," Liam says quietly.

"You and loads of other people," says Louis, tossing his head a little. Then he turns and grins. "We could go and find a cupboard."

"Not during Zayn's dinner," says Liam, even though he'd like to. "And we can't leave Harry with Ailie three times. That's a bit selfish."

"He wants to hold her," Louis argues, but he lets it go. Liam finishes off the champagne and slips his hand into Louis's. Literally no one in the room is going to think it's odd if the two of them get drunk and hold hands. They've almost built themselves a safety net of ridiculous behavior. 

The dinner is lovely; Danny gives a speech about how long he's known Zayn, and Zayn and Perrie get a bit teary. Then Jesy gives a speech about Perrie, and all the girls cry. Liam feels a bit choked up himself, too. He squeezes Louis's hand under the table and gets a squeeze back in return. 

For a minute, Liam tries to imagine being here, looking at how happy Perrie and Zayn are, and being on his own. Without Ailie, who's napping in Niall's lap, and without Louis, who's still holding his hand under the table. Just on his own, a bit lonely and a bit jealous. He couldn't have admitted he was jealous before; he feels a bit better about life in general now he's got a maybe-boyfriend and a probably-baby. This is what he's always wanted, and what he always assumed he'd have. Even if it's not at all how he thought it would happen.

"Are you crying?" Louis whispers incredulously. "You massive baby."

"It's just lovely," Liam says, watching Perrie and Zayn kiss while everyone applauds. "Sorry. I can't help it."

"Never met your mum when she wasn't crying," Louis says, giving Liam a bit of a sideways glance. "Is this what you're going to be like, as a dad? Tears everywhere, all the time?"

Liam considers for a second. "Yeah, probably."

Louis tries not to laugh, because there's another speech going on. "What have I got myself into?" he whispers, and then kisses Liam's cheek and goes back to his food. Liam just grins at him. As if Louis didn't know that beforehand, honestly.

—

Eventually Ailie has to go upstairs to get some proper sleep, and Liam's tired and tipsy enough to want to take her up himself. He gets her ready for bed and then falls asleep on Louis's bed, only waking up when Louis lands on top of him.

"Oof," says Liam. "What?"

"I had to go and have a pint with Niall," says Louis. He sounds drunk as shit. "Our last pint as bachelors together. Anyway we took a band vote."

"You and Niall?" Liam blinks at him. It's dark and he's half-asleep and Louis's too drunk to get his own shoes off so he's just wiggling around on the bed futilely. 

"Niall and Harry and Zayn. They told me I didn't get a vote, since I'm napping with you already." Louis snorts. He flops over on his back and giggles at himself. "And you don't get a vote since you're napping with me." 

Liam's a bit worried they'll wake up Ailie, who's sleeping in her pushchair-converted-to-a-travel-cot. "What did they vote on?" Liam asks, trying to wake up enough to help Louis out of his jeans and shoes.

"They voted yes," says Louis. He rolls on top of Liam, jeans still on one of his legs. He kisses Liam's neck sloppily. He smells like many, many pints with Niall, and a few cigarettes with Zayn. 

"Yes on what – Louis!" Liam hisses. Louis's got one hand down Liam's pants somehow. "Too drunk to get your own socks off, honestly," says Liam, trying to shove Louis off. Louis bites his neck instead.

"They voted yes," says Louis again. "So long as we both know we're idiots. But we're adorable idiots. Apparently." He waggles his eyebrows and tries to suck a hickey on Liam's collarbone. Liam tips his head back and groans a little. At least there, no one will be able to see it tomorrow. 

"I'm willing to be an adorable idiot, then," says Liam. "They're alright with it? Really? With us?" It makes his chest feel warm all over. He's done so many things lately without asking anyone: huge, life-altering decisions that could easily go wrong. Knowing that the lads have decided it's going to work… Well. It means a lot. _A lot_.

His answer is a snore, and Louis drooling on his chest. Liam rolls his eyes and pushes Louis over on his side. He pulls Louis's jeans off the rest of the way and spends a minute fighting with the duvet. Louis's a dead weight on top of it, and Liam would like them both to be underneath it. 

"You're lucky you're worth all this trouble," says Liam fondly. Then he rolls over and goes back to sleep.

—

The wedding ceremony is lovely, and Ailie is well behaved right up until the dinner afterwards. Then she knocks a bottle of champagne off the table when Liam isn't looking, and the ensuing mess and shouting adults make her cry. She's cheered back up by thirty seconds of Niall pulling stupid faces, though.

Liam takes Ailie home the next morning. Louis has to stay and help out with some family things, and Liam doesn't even mind too much, because he's exhausted and Ailie's grumpy. Louis corners him while Zayn and Perrie are saying goodbye to Ailie and kisses him until Liam feels dizzy. 

"So, until next time you see me, no—" Louis says, and mimes jacking off with one hand.

"Absolutely not," says Liam. "It might be a week."

"I'll be home for Ailie's birthday," Louis says. "Joint birthday party, remember?" 

As if Liam could forget. He kisses Louis with his hands on Louis's hips, trying to dig his fingers in so he'll leave bruises. Not that he thinks Louis will forget him, but… He needs to leave some sort of mark. 

Then he takes Ailie off Zayn, and wishes them both a happy honeymoon, even though they can only manage a week off, and heads home. He and Ailie both fall asleep in the car. It's been an awfully long trip.

They manage a couple of peaceful days; Liam misses Louis, but he's busy memorizing every word to Finding Nemo and Peppa Pig with Ailie, and they do a big shop at Primark for Christmas presents for everyone. Liam gets fleecy socks for his sisters and his mum, and a sleepsuit with little snowmen on for Ailie. He gets Louis an Iron Man knitted hat and a Doctor Who scarf. Harry gets the ugliest bow tie Liam's ever seen, and Niall and Zayn will get whatever Ailie's pulled off the shelf and thrown into the trolley, because he's got actual presents for them already. Then he buys the shop out of blinking fairy lights for his flat, and a little plastic Christmas tree. Ailie doesn't know what Christmas is, yet, but he can't let her first Christmas go without a load of celebration. 

Liam spends a lovely morning trying to explain the Christmas tree to Ailie; he hands her tinsel and tries to get her to put it on the tree, but she's much more excited to just shake it vigorously and put it on Thor. He has her put the star on top, and tries singing her some Christmas carols, which she quite likes. But then she grabs the edge of the little tree and tries to use it to pull herself to her feet, and knocks the whole thing over. There's a brief minute when she's covered in tinsel and fake plastic pine needles and fairy lights, absolutely fine but startled and crying her heart out, and Liam, who is possibly the worst dad in the world, snaps a picture before he rescues her, because it's just so cute. 

_can this be are Xmas cardddddd?_ he texts Louis, and just gets a series of fantastically delighted emojis in return. Liam sends the picture to his parents as well, and then his mum phones him back and cries because it'll be Ailie's first proper Christmas.

Then the next day Michelle calls, and things go rather sideways.

"I thought you said that you _weren't_ the partier of the band," she says, and then before Liam can ask her what she's on about, "but here's a picture of Ailie, unsupervised and surrounded by alcohol."

"What?" Liam splutters. He's got Ailie in his arms, pulling her own hat off and then chewing at the edges of it. He nearly drops her.

"You haven't seen it?" Michelle asks. "I can't imagine how you thought this was suitable for a baby, but I suppose that's a pop star's mentality, isn't it? Anything goes."

" _No_ ," Liam says. He hasn't searched his at replies on twitter since the wedding, he's been too busy playing Barbies with Ailie, but he flips open his laptop. Ailie, on his lap, throws her hat on the floor and shouts happily at it.

The same picture comes up in about a thousand replies; someone at the wedding took a shot of Ailie on the floor, holding a wine bottle. It looks awful; even through the Instagram filter, he can see a cigarette next to her, and a shattered wine glass under the table behind her. He can also see the edge of Louis's shoe – it must be just before they picked her up – but it looks for all the world like she's been left on her own to play with empty bottles at a party. 

"Oh, god," says Liam. His stomach feels awful, like he's eaten a load of lava. "She was only on the floor for a second, we grabbed her as soon as we saw what she was touching, honestly, I swear—" 

Michelle is already off on a lecture. Liam's heart is racing, and he only realizes halfway through he's not really hearing what Michelle is saying. He's too upset, and her tone of voice is absolutely _I'm sorry I thought you were a suitable candidate for a father, when you're obviously not_. 

Liam says, "I'm sorry," about a thousand times. Ailie stops talking cheerfully to herself and looks at him with concern – it's possible he's imagining that a bit – and puts her hand on his nose. He thinks it's meant to be comforting. Mostly it just makes him think that if Michelle takes her away, he'll lose his mind.

"I'll have to come and have a long chat with you," Michelle says. "And do more home visits. This sort of thing can't be allowed to happen again." And then she hangs up, before Liam can ask to clarify just what that means about him and Ailie.

He doesn't know what to do, so he calls Louis. Louis is furious. It hadn't occurred to Liam that he was allowed to be furious.

"Who the fuck took that picture, I'll fucking kill them," says Louis.

"You took one," Liam points out. Ailie doesn't like all the shouting; she puts her hands over her ears. 

"But I didn't bloody post it, did I?" Louis snaps. "You'd think at Zayn's wedding no one would be this kind of twat. I'll fucking murder them."

"We shouldn't have let her play with the bottle," Liam says guiltily.

"We didn't let her get drunk!" Louis shouts. "She's a baby! She crawls around and picks things up!" Ailie starts to cry, lower lip trembling. "Are we supposed to put her in a plastic bubble, or—"

"Stop, you're upsetting her," says Liam. "Shhh, darling, come on. It's alright." He bounces her a little, and sings her a quick snatch of the busy bee bedtime song, but she sniffles into his shoulder. He thinks maybe she's being a bit dramatic. 

Louis makes an outraged, frustrated noise. "When I find out who posted the original, I'll make them sorry," he says, but in a much calmer tone. "I suppose we can't keep her from every possible scandalous photograph, or opportunistic dickbag."

"We can try," Liam says glumly. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He kisses Ailie's forehead. She pouts at him.

"Send me a picture of you two," Louis says. "I won't be there until tomorrow night. Have you got a nanny for the tour? Have you decorated the nursery? Have you set up her birthday party yet?"

"No, no, and no," says Liam. "We've just been watching Finding Nemo and learning the alphabet on CBeebies." He holds his phone out and snaps a shot of him and Ailie, although it's mostly the back of her head. 

"Thank god you aren't on your own with this," Louis says, in his most disdainful voice.

"Yeah," says Liam. He can't manage any sarcasm. He hits send on the photo and adds _she missess youuuuu x x_ in a text. 

Louis says, "Don't worry. I'll handle it." And then he snickers. "And by 'it' I mean your dick, by the way. She's got to start sleeping in the nursery, because I'm not going to only have sex when you've got a babysitter until she's ten or something."

 _Do you think we'll be having sex when she's ten?_ Liam wonders, but doesn't say. "She gets lonely. I'm not going to make her sleep in another room because you're horny."

"Yes, you will," says Louis, with complete confidence. 

"Goodbye," says Liam, pretending to be annoyed. He still feels a sick sort of dread about Michelle and Ailie, but there's a healthy layer of being okay over the top of it, because if Louis says he'll handle things, then he will. "See you tomorrow night."

"Goodnight, Ailie! I love you! I'll see you very, very soon!" Louis shouts into the phone. Ailie perks up a little, but then Louis rings off, and she yawns and settles back against Liam's shoulder. 

Liam carries Ailie into the bedroom and kisses each of her tiny fists. "I'm sorry," he whispers. The guilt in his stomach feels heavy, like he might be sick. "I'm so sorry I screwed it up. I swear I won't let anyone take you away from me. Okay? No matter what."

Ailie's mostly asleep; her eyes are heavy and her smile is sweet and sleepy. She puts one hand over Liam's mouth and says, "Bahhhh." 

"Yeah," Liam says. "Exactly." He hugs Ailie until she's really asleep, and then puts her down to bed. He spends a long time sitting on the edge of his bed, watching her sleep, and trying to work out what he should have done differently.

—

Ailie's up bright and early, which means Liam is as well, because she starts banging on the bars of her cot. When he picks her up, she's singing a little song to herself, and he feels a surge of pride. "You're going to be very talented one day," he says, voice creaky. "You already are, aren't you? You're the best baby in the world." 

She's excited to be up, and excited for her bottle, and excited to crawl around finding bits of fluff on the floor. She finds a hat that Louis lost fully a year ago, and every time Liam looks up she's got something else in her mouth. 

Ailie's got dust in her curls and something suspiciously sticky all over her hands and mouth when Liam picks her up. "Abwuh!" she says proudly, getting her sticky fingers all over Liam's face. 

The doorbell rings. Liam looks to see who's outside, because fans have definitely found his flat more than once and spent the entire day buzzing his door. But it's not a fan; it's Michelle, with her tablet and a huge frown on her face. 

"Oh, god," says Liam to Ailie, buzzing Michelle in. "And you're all _dirty_. Shit. Oh no, I didn't say that. Please don't learn that word. Please don't." Ailie knows when he's upset; her face goes all grumpy and quiet. A crying baby is the last thing he needs; Liam kisses her cheek until she giggles again, just as Michelle comes in. 

"Surprise home visit," she says grimly, looking around. Liam knows without turning that the sink is full of dishes and there are baby toys all over the floor. Ailie's sticky and dirty and shrieking. Liam knows he looks exhausted.

"At least there aren't any open bottles out," he says, joking weakly.

Michelle doesn't smile. "I'll need to look around," she says. She begins making notes on her tablet.

Liam is absolutely going to be sick. "Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?" he says to Ailie. He carries her to the washbasin and tries to get her less sticky under the tap. Mostly he ends up soaking wet himself. 

Michelle walks around making notes of things, and all Liam can think is how terrible the flat looks. His mum would be so ashamed. He wishes he'd made the bed, and emptied the bins. There's a half-drunk bottle of Ailie's milk sat on the work surface, probably spoilt. And there's beer in the fridge, and wine he'd put away in case Louis wanted a night in.

Also, if she opens his laptop, she's going to find quite a lot of searches for gay porn, and he has a feeling that won't endear him to her at all.

Michelle walks around making disapproving noises to herself and poking into Liam's cupboards and ticking things off on her tablet. It makes Liam feel ill. Ailie starts to wiggle to try and get down, and Liam won't let her, so she throws her head back and wails. Michelle looks over, of course, and Liam's frozen – he has no idea if it's worse to have Ailie throw a crying fit while Michelle is there, or to seem like a complete tit who can't get Ailie off the floor. 

Ailie doesn't like waiting; she flails madly and shrieks and shouts, "No, noooo!" When Liam still doesn't put her down she starts crying loudly, slapping her hands on his shoulders. 

"I wanted to tidy before I let her crawl around," Liam says, but that sounds bad, too; he ought to have tidied already, surely. He tries not to look guilty, but he _feels_ guilty. "Let's put you in your high chair while I mop, alright?"

Ailie is _not_ alright with that. She cries when he puts her down, and tries to cling to his arm. Michelle's watching, and Liam wants to cry, too. Ailie looks betrayed, and Michelle looks suspicious, and he's trying to be good at this, but it feels like he's getting worse and worse at it.

He can't put Ailie down when she's reaching for him like that. He just can't. He picks her back up, mumbles something about checking her nappy and carries her into the bedroom. She calms down once she's on his lap on the bed, and he gives her her puppy. "Puppy," she says sadly, stroking its rather sticky fur. He ought to launder Thor but there's almost never an hour when Ailie doesn't want him. 

"Darling, you've got to be good today, alright?" Liam says. Ailie takes a deep shuddering breath like she's thinking about crying again, but she's a good baby, really, and after a thoughtful couple of minutes chewing on Thor she wiggles off his lap and crawls across the bed after an electronic toy guitar Niall got her. She spends a while pressing the buttons while Liam tidies in the bedroom. He's glad of the excuse not to watch Michelle take notes, honestly.

He hears something out in the flat, and then Louis shouts from the door. "I'm home! Where's my baby?"

Oh, Christ. Michelle may not be thrilled about that, either. "Louis, hi!" Liam shouts, scooping Ailie and Thor up and jogging out to meet Louis. Louis's got a rolling suitcase in one hand and a huge shopping bag in the other. His face is a little red and his hair is windblown, and he looks a little tired and bruised under his eyes. Liam wants to make him tea and give him a hot bath and make him sleep for about a week. "You're back early, we weren't expecting you. Michelle is—"

Louis drops both of his bags and puts his hands on either side of Liam's face, pulling him in for a kiss. Liam's got his arms full of Ailie, so he huffs an impatient little laugh, because Louis doesn't listen. Of course he doesn't listen. 

"I missed you," Louis says, with his mouth still pressed against Liam's. 

"Of course you did," says Liam, which is really more Louis' type of joke than his. Ailie squeals and reaches for Louis, who takes her. "Michelle is here, though, so—"

"Hello," says Michelle. She's in the doorway, looking at both of them with raised eyebrows.

Louis's face goes through a million different emotions. He's sort of amazing that way. Liam sees surprise and embarrassment and then fury, which he tamps down to 'very cold fury' really quickly. "Hi," says Louis. He shifts Ailie a little, so he's between her and Michelle. 

"It's fine," says Liam, trying to sound reasonable and cheerful. "Surprise home visit, sort of thing. Make sure the place isn't full of drugs and needles and crazy parties."

"You can have a party if you like," Louis snaps. "Or a boyfriend." His chin goes up a little. The way he's staring at Michelle has terrified plenty of people who work for them; there was one sound engineer who was a dick to Niall, and then cried when Louis got that look on his face. But Liam's not sure this is the best way to handle the current situation.

"I didn’t realize you were asking about yourself," Michelle says, looking at Liam.

"I… yeah," says Liam, shrugging, because he's not sure what else to do. "It's all really responsible and good for Ailie, I promise. It's so much easier with two of us to look after her, and Louis's a _great_ dad. He knows what to do when she's crying better than I do, and she loves him, and—"

Louis kicks him in the ankle. "Shut up. It doesn't matter. She can't be prejudicial. Anyway, we've got lawyers. Millions of lawyers. The really expensive kind." 

"I haven't come to take Ailie away," says Michelle. "And I haven't come to tell you not to have a boyfriend." The way she looks at Liam clearly says _Although I thought you were the straight one_. Liam would like to say, _I thought so, too, but then… Louis_. 

"Well, you couldn't," Louis says. Ailie is busily trying to put her fingers in his mouth, which makes it a bit difficult for him to glower, but he's managing. 

"You're a public figure," says Michelle to Liam. "That means if a picture like that goes out, you get scrutinized, and so do we. You've got to be more careful. And you need to put locks on all the cupboards so Ailie can't fling them open and get to what's inside. There's a couple of other things, as well, but in general you're fine. You've just got to be more careful. Twice as careful as a normal person."

"I'm normal," Liam objects.

"You were never," Louis says immediately. "And we will be. It's just a bit mad, what people think they can take pictures of with us. But we've got a nanny for the tour, and extra security for Ailie, and we're arranging everything around her."

Liam turns and raises his eyebrows, asking _We are?_ Louis nods. "It's all sorted, then," Liam says, although he's not sure when that happened. 

"I'll still need to come and check on things. Do be careful," Michelle says. "Especially as Ailie's poorly. She can't drink alcohol, probably ever, and you've always got to be really careful, even with how much water and milk and juice she has—"

"I know," says Liam. "I've had years of practice at that." He rubs his finger on Ailie's cheek so she turns and he can kiss her forehead. "I'm really careful."

"Liam's reliable, and dependable, and boring, I promise," Louis says. He gives Liam a little grin after he says it, to take the sting out. 

"Make sure that you are," says Michelle. 

She has a checklist of things to go over with Liam, but he only listens with half an ear; most of him is busy watching Louis play with Ailie. He's still trying to get her to say 'Louis,' or to help her to walk. She looks so pleased to have him back; everything Louis does is the funniest thing Ailie's ever seen.

Liam knows that feeling.

"I've got an email from the solicitor," says Michelle. She puts her hand on top of Liam's, startling him back to the conversation. "The adoption papers have been submitted. You know that, right?"

Liam had known, in an academic sort of way, that the papers were being applied for. He's let the solicitors worry about all of that; he's been a bit more focused on having enough nappies and fish fingers for Ailie. He nods stiffly. 

"You're absolutely sure, aren't you?" Michelle asks.

"I am," says Liam. His stomach twists, nervous and excited, hopeful and terrified all at once. 

Michelle looks at him for a minute, and Liam can't tell if she's angry, or concerned, or a bit sorry for him. "You're awfully young," she says.

"I'm sure," Liam says again. "I really am."

Michelle nods. "I think it'll go through," she says. "Be careful what you wish for. Twenty-two-year-old pop-star dad sounds like a pretty difficult life to me." Liam just shrugs and shakes his head. It's going to work out, he knows. 

After Michelle leaves, Louis walks over and wraps his arms around Liam from behind. Ailie's happily sat on the living room floor, flinging Thor around and shouting at him. "It's going to be alright," says Louis. "You're doing this as well as you possibly could be."

"I'm not," says Liam. He thinks about Perrie's mum, and Zayn's mum, and his own mum, and how effortlessly they seem to know what to do when something's wrong with Ailie.

"You're always too competitive, Payne," says Louis, putting his chin on Liam's shoulder. "You can't be the world's greatest dad your first month on the job."

"I can try," Liam says. It sounds more melancholy than he meant; he shakes his head like he can shake off his lingering feeling of not doing very well. "Anyway, I've got to make lunch and tidy the place. You could help—"

Louis just snorts.

"You could look after Ailie," Liam amends his statement.

"Yeah, I could," Louis says. One of his hands wanders down to Liam's crotch and squeezes. "I missed you. I said that, right?"

Ailie looks over at them and waves her dog. Liam feels a bit guilty getting groped, but she has no idea what's going on. "You did."

"Good." Louis darts down and bites Louis's neck, and then goes to play with Ailie. Liam still doesn't feel like he's doing as well as he could be, but at least he isn't doing it alone.

—

Ailie sleeps in the nursery that night, because Louis can't keep his hands to himself. Liam doesn't really want him to. It's the first time they've had enough time to go as slowly as Liam wants; he wants to map out every flavor of Louis's skin with his mouth, marking the differences between the softness of Louis's belly and the bony ridge of his shoulders. 

He pins Louis's hands to the bed above his head with one hand and sucks his way down Louis's neck, while Louis groans and tips his head back. He's so beautiful Liam wonders how anyone has ever looked at anyone else in the band on stage. But then, they don't get to see Louis like this, coming apart underneath Liam. 

"Eventually," Louis says, pushing up against Liam, "I'm going to fuck you and you're going to love it."

Liam bites his lip. "I've thought about that," he says. His free hand skims over Louis's hips. "I'm not sure I'd like it."

"Babe, you're gonna beg for it," Louis says. Liam shivers. If Louis thinks so, he's probably right.

This time, Liam uses his fingers to open Louis up, watching all the different expressions that flicker across his face. Liam concentrates like he's learning a new song, trying to memorize every way to crook his fingers and make Louis sigh like _this_ , or shifting to make Louis groan like _that_. He's going to be an expert at every way to make Louis come. 

This time, Liam isn't as desperate, and he can spend more time creating a rhythm that makes Louis's breath catch is his chest, and his fingers clutch Liam's biceps bruisingly hard. Liam goes as slowly as he can, dragging it out, watching the flush spread down Louis's chest and Louis's eyes start to roll back in his head. And when Louis finally comes, shaking apart underneath him, it tips Liam over the edge, too; white around the edges of his vision and the high note of orgasm that sings through his balls and his belly, like the endless crest of the perfect wave.

Later, when Liam's too tired to move, Louis says, "We'll start easy," and pinches Liam until he rolls over. And then Louis licks his way down Liam's spine, and flattens his tongue across Liam's arse. 

"Wait," Liam says, but he's too wrung out to really object, even to something so odd. And then a minute later Louis's pressing in with his tongue, and _holy mother of god_ it feels – It feels like – 

That desperate groaning noise Liam can hear is apparently himself. "What? Fuck, Louis. _Fuck_ ," he manages, and then he doesn't make any more words for a while. He can hear Louis humming smugly to himself, but however smug he is, he's earned it. Liam's breath catches in his chest, and his whole body feels like it's lit up with Christmas lights.

"Proper begging for it already," Louis growls, and Liam would, if he could do anything but make the most embarrassingly desperate noises. Whatever Louis's doing, however strange it is, Liam wants him to never, ever, _ever_ stop.

Louis is also an expert at sucking dick. He's an expert at all sorts of things, and Liam's going to compliment him on all of them, maybe make him a badge with a gold star on. What he actually says is, "Oh Louis, oh _please_ ," and then he comes so hard it makes his toes curl into the duvet, and his stomach and thighs shake. 

"Yeah," says Louis, smug as anything. He sits up on his heels and starts wanking himself with one hand. He's going to come all over Liam's thighs, Liam can tell, but they're already both such messes, he can't bring himself to care. "Good, right?"

"Ace," Liam says. He feels like his whole body is made of rocks; he's never moving again. Ailie will have to learn to look after herself. "You're amazing. You're the best."

Louis shudders and curls in on himself, coming all over Liam and the duvet. It'll need to be washed. Everything will need to be washed, Liam thinks, and shakes his head. He grabs at Louis's arm and tugs him down on to the bed so they can cuddle. A sticky, sweaty, messy cuddle, but the best sort of cuddle anyway. Louis's so hot that they don't need the duvet, anyway.

Liam can hear Ailie's even breathing through the baby monitor, and Louis's sleepy, heavy snuffles against his chest. 

"I'm a good boyfriend, right?" Louis mumbles. His mouth is on Liam's shoulder. Liam thought it was a kiss for a minute, but he's fairly sure it's just sleepy drool instead. He shouldn't find it so sweet. 

"The best," says Liam automatically. "If that's… Are we boyfriends?"

Louis reaches over and pinches Liam's nipple. "Shut up."

That means yes. Liam grins up at the ceiling. "Alright. I'm a pretty good boyfriend, too."

"What do you bring to the table besides a baby?" Louis asks. "Crying and abs. That's all."

Liam laughs. "What else could you want, though, really?"

"Dunno. I'll make a list. Shhhhh." Louis puts his hand over Liam's mouth, and Liam bites at his fingers. 

A few minutes later Ailie wakes herself up, crying, and Liam gets up to walk around with her. She sucks contentedly on a bottle while Liam sings Justin Timberlake and kisses the top of her head, and thinks sleepily that he wouldn't rather be doing anything in the world.


	2. Codas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two codas, because somehow this fic wasn't long enough yet. <3

BIRTHDAY

Liam's been up with Ailie since four, and Louis's been trying to go back to sleep that entire time. 

He can hear, in the corridor, Liam singing quietly to Ailie, and Ailie crying. Sometimes she's louder and sometimes she's quieter, but she's been going without a break for two hours. 

Eventually Louis can't stand listening to it anymore, so he throws the duvet back and climbs out of bed. "Sorry," Liam whispers. Why he's whispering is anyone's guess; Ailie and Louis are both awake now. 

"Ailie," says Louis, ignoring him. "Baby. Darling. Sweetheart. You've got to stop crying. It's our birthday. We need some rest before the party." He rubs his crooked finger across her cheek until she turns to look at him, big brown eyes full of tears. She's the most beautiful baby in the world, even with her red face and snotty nose. Liam looks shattered, standing around in just his underwear with dark circles under his eyes. He's got that look he gets when they've spent too long at the airport and he hasn't slept and he's getting a bit desperate for a nap. Louis loves him more than seems reasonable. But then, he always has.

"It's not your birthday," Liam says, because he's tired. Louis doesn't think Liam's trying to start a fight; he's just tired and contrary.

"My birthday is Christmas Eve, so I won't be here," Louis says. "So I'm having a birthday today, with Ailie." 

"You can't have every day be yours," Liam says.

"Right, you're too tired to talk to. No wonder she's crying," says Louis, and takes Ailie out of Liam's arms. "Go to bed, Liam. Take a nap."

"She's ill," says Liam. "She won't stop crying, and she never stays up all night crying. What if it's her kidney? What if she's poorly and I didn't take her to hospital?"

"What if you got some sleep before you lose your bloody mind," Louis mutters. He puts Ailie on his hip and bounces her a little. She sniffles sadly. Louis puts one hand on her forehead; she's not warm. He's secretly a little relieved. He doesn't want to spend her birthday waiting at A&E. 

"She won't stop crying," Liam says. He sits down on the floor and puts his head on his knees. Sometimes he looks about five years old, particularly when he's tired. 

Louis's tired too, and his head hurts, and Ailie's clutching his shirt and looking at him expectantly. She gets that from Liam, somehow: looking at Louis as if he can make everything better. It terrifies him, and simultaneously makes him feel a bit like Superman.

"She's being mardy because she's a baby, Liam. Babies cry."

"Ailie doesn't," Liam tells his knees.

Louis can't stand it. Liam's awful at taking care of himself sometimes. He kicks Liam until Liam looks up. "Go to bed," Louis says. "Go and crawl into bed and let me look after Ailie and stop being such a baby." 

He sounds tetchy; there's no reason for Liam to look up at him and smile. Liam's eyes go all soft, and even though he looks exhausted, he's nearly naked and he also looks fit as fuck. "How are you going to get her to stop crying?" Liam asks. It's not a challenge. Like he honestly wonders what Louis knows that he doesn't.

"I know all about babies," Louis bluffs. "Changed a million nappies, haven't I? Go on, go to bed." He shoves at Liam with his foot until Liam gets up, and then watches jealously as Liam goes back into the bedroom and buries himself under the duvet.

Ailie watches him go with tears in her eyes. "Daaaaaa," she wails, starting to cry again. Louis carries her down the corridor where Liam won't hear, and does the only sensible thing; he calls his mum.

"Has she got her teeth yet?" his mum asks.

Louis frowns and stares at Ailie's mouth. She's crying again and chewing on her fist. He tries to pry her mouth open so he can have a look, which makes her wail. "Dunno," he says. "Some of them?"

"If she won't sleep, and she won't stop crying, and she's not feverish, try giving her some cold food, or a cold washcloth to suck on. You can also rub your finger along her gums."

"Can I?" Louis wonders dubiously. He tries putting a finger in her mouth, but she doesn't want him to, moaning "No, no, no." "Hang on a tick. I'm going to check the freezer."

"I'm going back to sleep now, thank you very much," says his mum. Louis sighs at her, but she's rung off, so he puts the phone in his pocket. Ailie cries quietly. 

There's frozen snap peas in the freezer. Louis takes out a bag of them and hands them to Ailie, trying to persuade her to suck on them. It takes a little doing, but once she gets the idea, it calms her down. They'll have to buy more food, Louis thinks, looking at all the drool. But at least she isn't crying.

He winds up on the sofa with Ailie on his lap, holding a bag of frozen peas, watching Finding Nemo. It's the fastest way to get Ailie to settle, but Louis has watched it about three hundred times in the last month, and he's a little tired of it. He dozes off almost immediately, and only wakes up when Ailie drops a bag of half-frozen, damp, vegetables on his crotch.

"Shit!" says Louis, which makes Ailie giggle. He pretends to frown at her, and she grins and claps and looks every kind of adorable. At least someone's happy. On the television, sharks are chasing Marlon. Ailie wiggles off his lap and onto the floor, and then pulls herself up to her feet, holding the sofa. She shrieks something at him. "At least one of us is excited to be awake," Louis says. "Oh, but it's your birthday, isn't it? No wonder you're excited. Come on; we've got a surprise for your dad." 

Ailie won't be carried; Louis has to let her hold his hands and walk herself into the nursery, while he stoops over bent in half. Then she crawls off to find Thor while he pulls out the outfit he's got planned for her party.

First, there's a Batman babygrow. Ailie's perfectly happy to put it on; one sleepsuit is as good as another to her. And then, much to her delight, there is a sparkly pink tutu which Louis ties on over the top of it. Ailie likes the tutu, but then Ailie likes anything that's pink. In particular, she seems to like chewing on the sparkly edges.

It's the most perfect birthday outfit Louis can think of. He's a little sad it doesn’t come in his size, to be honest. Particularly since it's more a present for Liam than anyone else. He tries to put a tiara on Ailie, but she pulls it off immediately. Maybe when she's bigger, Louis thinks wistfully. He'd really like her to be a proper Princess Batman when Liam wakes up.

He carries Ailie into the bedroom, where Liam is sprawled across the bed and drooling. It's late enough that he needs to get up and shower before people start arriving. Baby birthday parties don't happen at ten pm, it turns out. More like eleven in the morning. 

"Say 'get up, Daddy!'" Louis coaxes. 

"Daaaa," says Ailie loudly. Louis puts her down basically on top of Liam. Liam rolls over and blinks at both of them, with the loveliest smile on his face. Louis is never, ever that cute when he wakes up, and he wonders that Liam puts up with him. 

"My darling," says Liam, and then his eyes go wide. "Oh my _god_."

"The cutest baby in the world on her birthday," says Louis proudly. "Right? Right?"

"You're amazing," says Liam reverently. Louis can't tell who he's talking to, the baby or him. He'd like to think it's him. He's always enjoyed – possibly too much – the way Liam's so easy to impress. 

"She's Princess Batman," says Louis. "Right?"

"You're brilliant," says Liam. He fumbles for his phone and snaps about a thousand pictures of Ailie, and then some of Ailie and Louis, and then turns it around and tries to get her to pose with him as well. Ailie's not that interested; there's important crawling to do.

"I figure she can be Princess Batman every Halloween until she's big enough to argue," Louis says. He's a little bit embarrassed how happy he is that Liam's so pleased, so he pretends to look annoyed. 

"Then she can be Princess Iron Man," Liam says. "You look _beautiful_ , sweetheart. You look perfect."

"Aaa!" says Ailie agreeably. 

Liam sits up and kisses Louis. It's not that Louis wasn’t expecting it – Liam's learnt it from Louis, after all – but Louis's not entirely adjusted to this new world where Liam just kisses him, if he feels like it. It doesn't quite feel real. Louis likes to dig his fingers in, just to be sure. Liam's too solid to be imaginary, and the sour taste of his mouth was never there in dreams. Louis puts his hand on Liam's cheek and tilts his face up. Liam opens his mouth a little bit more, and Louis climbs on to the bed, straddling him, and –

"Abnuf a _goom_ ," says Ailie certainly. 

Liam pulls away. "Really?" he asks. "You don't say."

"Ammmb maff," Ailie agrees.

Louis sighs. They can't really have sex right now; they haven't got time and Ailie's got no interest in a nap. "Go and shower," he says. "Paul's texted that everyone will be here soon."

"Mmm," Liam agrees. He does something with his phone. "Just tweeting Princess Batman. Honestly, I know I'm biased, but she's the cutest baby in the entire world."

"You aren't biased," says Louis. "You've just got eyes." 

Liam beams at him. It's so hard for Louis to keep a straight face; when Liam looks pleased like that, Louis wants to stop the entire world and keep him that way. "Go and get showered," Louis says, rolling his eyes. It's the only way to stop Liam's joy from making his entire heart melt. "You smell terrible."

"No, I don't," says Liam cheerfully, but he gets out of bed. Louis slaps his arse, because he can, and then takes Ailie out for breakfast. He finds some toys that are probably meant for teething and puts them into the freezer, in case Ailie gets cranky again later. 

Niall and Harry show up early. Niall's got an enormous cake and Harry's got a bag full of presents that's large enough for Ailie to play in. "You haven't put up any decorations," Niall says, frowning.

"No," Louis agrees. "I'm trying to get a tetchy baby to eat some applesauce right now."

"She's not tetchy," says Harry, stealing Ailie away. "You're never tetchy, are you, sweetheart?"

"She's never going to like you best, Styles," Louis says, but Harry just grins at him and carries Ailie off. 

Niall can't stop shaking his head. "You're a rubbish dad. I'm gonna put up some balloons and bunting and tinsel." 

"What do you mean, dad?" Louis asks. Niall's brought decorations, somehow. Maybe Liam phoned him. 

"Dunno," says Niall, wrinkling up his nose. "If Liam's her dad, and you're Liam's whatever, then you're Ailie's dad too, aren't you?"

"Liam's whatever?" Louis repeats. He considers being outraged, but it's Niall. You can't be outraged at Niall.

The face Niall pulls is hilarious. "'Boyfriend' is a bit stupid, isn't it? You're not any different than you were, you're just touchin' each other's cocks. Don't want to hear about it: please don't tell me. I'm sure it's great. Liam's cock is probably ace and I'm sure he tries really hard, and gives it to you just how you want it, but I'll never get that picture out of my brain now, and I didn't want it in the first place."

Louis is speechless. It's maybe the second time he can ever remember that happening. "Well then," he says finally. 

"Hold this pink balloon," says Niall, and that's the end of that conversation for a while. 

All the friends they've invited are all the same people they see anyway; Caroline brings Brooklyn, and Lou brings Lux, because Ailie should have friends to crawl around with. But there's the entire band, and Liam's parents, and two of Louis's sisters, and Zayn and Perrie who've just got back and look tan. Liam's flat fills up with people and babies and presents. Louis spends a lot of time reminding people that it's his party as well, but no one takes him seriously. 

"Everyone's mean to me," Louis complains. He snuggles up behind Liam, arms around Liam's waist and chin on Liam's shoulder. Well, chin on Liam's shoulder if Louis stands slightly on tiptoe. "Having a Christmas birthday is rubbish, I never get a present for each one. Why can't I have my birthday today?"

"Because it's Ailie's birthday, and you're slightly cracked," says Liam, but he sounds fond. 

Ailie's opened a small mountain of presents; she's happily throwing ribbons around and trying to eat the shiny wrapping paper, while Harry makes meticulous notes about who gave her which presents. Lux keeps taking her toys and then running over to show them to her mum. Then she runs back over and tries to give them to Ailie, who isn't particularly interested. 

"I've got something for you in the bedroom," says Liam.

"Yeah," Louis leers. "I bet you have." 

Liam elbows him in the stomach, but he also laughs. "A present, you twat," he says.

"Ooooh. I love presents."

"Yes," says Liam patiently. "I know." He takes Louis's hand. Out in the middle of the party Ailie squeals happily, and Louis can hear Harry laugh, and then Niall's braying delight.

Louis follows Liam into the bedroom. "You know, Niall has a lot of opinions about your cock," says Louis.

Liam looks horrified. "What? Why?" 

"I don't know. He's not wrong, but I wish he hadn't shared them with me, to be honest." Something occurs to Louis, and he crosses his arms while Liam looks for something in the cupboard. He also makes a secret note that Liam's got rubbish hiding places for presents. Next time Louis'll find it. "Have you noticed," Louis says, "that lately Ailie's been saying 'da' quite a lot?"

"She says all sorts of nonsense words," Liam agrees. He pulls a box out of the cupboard. Not big enough to be a car or an elephant; probably too large to be a watch. Then again, Louis could buy all of those things for himself. His sisters complain quite a lot about how hard he is to shop for, now.

"But she says 'da' and she reaches for _you_ ," Louis says. Liam looks at him and stills. "I think she's saying daddy."

"No," says Liam, but he doesn't sound sure.

"Yes," says Louis certainly. "She did it twice this morning. I didn't even think about it."

Liam just stares at him for a minute. Then he sits down suddenly on the bed and puts his head in his hands. "Oh my god," Liam says.

"All those Daddy Direction jokes," Louis says. "And now you're proper daddy Liam." He's so proud of Liam – and, oddly, of Ailie – his heart could burst. He imagines he looks rather smug and dickish at the moment, and he's not sorry. 

"I never thought – I don't know if I really – is it honestly—"

"Liam," says Louis, rolling his eyes again. "Shut up."

Louis's put a lot of work into Liam Payne. He knows when Liam needs a hug and when Liam needs a swift kick in the arse. He's basically taken the best, sweetest, most trusting person he's ever met and turned him into a confident, sexy, teasing, cuddling, perfect boyfriend. So he's pretty confident that what Liam needs at the moment is bluntness, not coddling. He brought home a baby; he's got to think of himself as the baby's dad. That's just all there is to it.

"Right," says Liam eventually, looking up and squaring his shoulders. Louis's so smug it's probably visible from space. He's always right about Liam. "Yes. Okay. Do you want your present, or—"

"That's just stupid," says Louis, sitting beside him on the bed. "Gimme."

Liam laughs, a little shaky but entirely delighted. "It's sort of stupid. But—"

Louis's already grabbed the box out of his hand and ripped it open. Mostly it's full of paper; Louis throws that aside for Ailie to play with later. Eventually he finds a set of keys, and a pair of Raybans. "What the fuck, Liam?" he asks.

"It's kind of stupid. I just thought, it'd be nice… I mean, we didn't start dating until I had Ailie, so we never got a chance to be properly alone together. But I thought… Anyway, next break we have, the one in February, I… I hope it's cool with you? But I've rented a house on the beach in Hawaii, the north shore where all the good surfing is, and there aren't as many tourists. And my parents have already said they'll watch Ailie, but I bet Harry'll fight them about it. So I thought we could have that surfing getaway, you and me, and no baby, and no one barging in, but only if you want to—"

"Fuck, Liam," says Louis. His chest hurts. He can't tell if he's going to cry. 

"Do you not want to? I know you only get to see your sisters on our time off—"

Louis turns and kisses him, hand wrapping around the back of Liam's neck to pull him in tighter. It's such a fierce kiss it's almost angry. He could be furious, actually; Liam's so frustratingly perfect, and kind, and thoughtful. Louis could kill him. 

"I fucking love you," says Louis, mouth still against Liam's. "How fucking dare you? What am I supposed to do now? Honestly."

Liam smiles, a little confused. "Yeah? Good. 'Cause me, too. So that's good."

"Yeah," says Louis. It's nice that Liam understands him so well. "A few days on the beach, just the two of us. That sounds alright. Or actually—" Louis bites his lip, and Liam's face falls. He hates being wrong so much, and Louis loves him for that. For how hard he tries at every silly little thing. "I think we should take Ailie," Louis says impulsively. "And a nanny. That way we'll have someone to watch her while we're surfing and doing other things." He waggles his eyebrows up and down at Liam until Liam bursts out laughing. 

"Or we could do that," Liam agrees, grinning.

"You'd miss her too much, you baby," says Louis fondly. "Me, too." He's dealing with quite a lot of emotions. Like wanting to bawl, because he's not sure he deserves Liam, and wanting to fuck Liam through the mattress. There are about two dozen people in Liam's flat, so it's not a good idea. Not right now, at least. He threads his fingers between Liam's and squeezes. "You know you have to get me a different Christmas present, right?" Louis says instead, working heroically to sound normal.

"Yes," Liam says, and rolls his eyes. "I have known you for a little while now."

"Lucky you," says Louis. 

"Yeah," says Liam, ducking his head a little. He's so god damn sincere. "Lucky me." 

And there's nothing Louis can say to that, so he just leans in and kisses Liam again.

 

 

CHRISTMAS

Louis spends Christmas Eve with his sisters and his mum, because it's his birthday. And then, even though he's not sure it's a good idea, on Christmas Day he drives to Liam's parents' house.

"Please," Liam had said about a hundred times. "I don't want Ailie to have Christmas without you. I'll make you a stocking, and you can have dinner with us. Come and watch Doctor Who with us. Please?"

Of course Louis wants to be with Liam and Ailie on Christmas. He wants to take a thousand pictures of her and her first Christmas tree, and her first stocking. He's too late to help her leave out mince pie and sherry for Father Christmas, and carrots for his reindeer. But he wants to be there for everything else.

The problem is that Liam has had a load of trouble telling his parents why Louis would be there. Louis doesn't blame him; Liam's parents are amazing and loving and wonderful, but a bit conservative. They've already had a shock with Ailie. They love Louis-Liam's-bandmate. He's not sure they love Louis-Liam's-boyfriend.

Still. He promised Liam. 

He is unsurprised to see, as he parks, that Liam's parents' house is covered in rainbow lights, and there's some fake snow scattered around the garden, because it hasn't been cold enough for proper snow. Louis's heart starts pounding. It's going to be fine, he tells himself. And if it isn't, he's brought some very expensive sherry for Liam's dad, and even more expensive wine for Liam's mum. He's got loads of presents for everyone, just in case. Liam's sisters like sparkly, pretty things. He's even got jumpers for the dogs. 

Mostly there are presents for Ailie. Louis's missed her, and every single shop he's walked past all month has been full of things he just needed to buy for her. He suspects Liam may have done the same thing, and they'll need to buy a bigger flat in London to accommodate all her new toys.

His heart's a bit in his throat when he walks up to the door. Liam's sounded a little unsure about his parents since he got Ailie, and it's a bit of a one-two punch; _hey, Mum and Dad, here's my new adopted baby and by the way I've got a boyfriend even though you had no idea at all I was even a little bit gay. And by the way, that boyfriend is the annoying one in the band who's always convincing me to get tattoos._ At least, that's how Louis imagines the conversation went. 

The door opens and Liam's sister Ruth shrieks, "He's here!" The house is ablaze with twinkly fairy lights, and more Christmas decorations than Louis's seen in his entire life. He's not surprised, to be honest. There's Frank Sinatra Christmas songs playing, and a tree that takes up half the living room. Brit runs by, barking, and then a moment later Loki runs by, chasing her. 

It's so overwhelmingly Christmas-y that Louis doesn't even notice for a second that Ruth is wearing a truly hideous Christmas jumper. It's blue, and covered in multi-colored snowflakes. And then he sees that Liam's mum is wearing the same thing.

"We're so glad you're here!" says Ruth, flinging herself at him. Louis gets an enormous, bone-crushing hug. Ruth says quietly in his ear, "Don't worry, we've been buttering up Mum and Dad."

"Cheers," says Louis. He's simultaneously really pleased and a little concerned that they needed buttering up.

"Come on in, put down your bags," says Ruth, dragging him into the house. 

The pile of presents under the Christmas tree is enormous. Louis slides his bags over to join them. And then a hand grabs his, and he turns around to find Liam beaming at him, wearing a different, incredibly hideous, red Christmas jumper with reindeer on.

"So glad you're here," says Liam. He's got a giant, genuine smile and pink cheeks that mean he might have some mulled wine or something. "Hey, babe. We missed you."

"Where's Ailie?" Louis asks, because that's his priority. "I bought a fancy new camera to take snaps of Ailie opening presents."

"I think she'll enjoy the paper and ribbons more than the toys," says Liam, with a little smile. He's definitely tipsy; his breath smells like wine when he leans closer. Louis glances over at Ruth, who's beaming at them. Then he looks over at Liam's mum, who looks suspiciously wet around the eyes. 

"Maybe she'll grow up to be a decorator," says Louis. Liam leans in and kisses him. It's a friendly, slightly drunk, mildly sloppy kiss. Louis would enjoy it a lot more if he weren't a bit worried that Liam's mum was about to burst into tears, or that his dad might come in and punch Louis. Does Liam's mum know why they're kissing? Has Liam tried to explain? It's impossible to enjoy a kiss when he's terrified.

Liam squeezes Louis's hand. "It's fine," he says. "I promise, it's fine. I told them. It's… It'll be fine."

"If I saw a strange boy kissing one of my sisters I'd kill him," says Louis, which is true. Ruth doesn't look like she wants to kill anyone. Not yet, at least. Liam's mum is definitely going to cry, though. It's strange she hasn't hugged Louis yet. She always wants a hug.

"Happy birthday and Happy Christmas," says Liam, as if he didn't say it on the phone yesterday. 

Louis takes a deep breath, because it's not going to get any less awkward. "Bring me my baby," he says, and kisses Liam, hard and fast.

He can feel Liam smiling against his mouth, even before Liam shouts, "Nic! Bring Ailie! Louis's here."

Louis shouldn't be surprised to see that Nicola is wearing the same jumper that Ruth and their mum are wearing. He _is_ slightly surprised that they've found that same jumper in Ailie's size. "Oh my god," says Louis.

"Ruth went a little mad at M&S," Liam says. He probably thinks he's whispering. "It's cute, right? I'm putting it on twitter later. All in the same jumper."

Louis is in danger of saying something unbearably teary. Maybe it's the Christmas music, or the overwhelming Christmassness of the Payne house, or how sincere Liam's entire family is. "Part of the family," says Louis, and then looks around for a drink. Even if they aren't quite sure what to do with Louis, they love Liam and Ailie, so much.

Ailie squeals and reaches for him. "Baby," says Louis happily. 

"Look," says Liam, and grabs a pink ruffled headband with reindeer antlers on it. He puts it on over her curls and it jingles as she turns to look at him. Louis kisses her cheek a couple of times and blows a raspberry, just for good measure. Ailie looks as delighted as ever. 

"You're all such a good audience," says Louis. "So easy to make laugh."

"Yeah," says Liam, squinty-eyed and pleased. 

A flash goes off, because Ruth has started taking photos. "You're all loved up and adorable," she says. "I love being an auntie. Have some mulled wine, Louis. Or a sherry. Dad's got the sherry open. For Father Christmas, you know."

"I brought some as well," Louis says. "I'd love one." Louis doesn't want to get sloppy, but he doesn't mind taking the edge off his nerves. He's waiting for Geoff to take him aside and give him a talking to. Louis is afraid to relax. Ruth takes another couple of picture and then gets him a drink. 

Liam's dad comes in. "Glad you got here," he says. His cheeks are exactly as pink as Liam's, and he's got that same reindeer jumper on. Sometimes they look very much alike and then other times they've got identical Christmas jumpers on, and they look just alike. Geoff offers Louis a handshake, and Louis tries to make it the firm sort that's manly and friendly, rather than the sort that admits he's sleeping with Geoff's son and he's sorry about it. He's not sorry.

"Thanks for inviting me," says Louis. It's so _awkward_.

"Nice to see you," says Geoff, and then there's a minute of hesitation. But then he gives Louis a quick hug, and Ailie a kiss on the cheek. He's not looking at Louis, not quite directly in the eye. But it's as good as Louis can imagine any of this going, so he'll take it. 

"You two in matching jumpers," says Louis to Liam. "It's _amazing_."

Liam shrugs, a little pink and embarrassed. "It's Christmas," he says. 

"You're adorable," says Louis. He glances over at Liam's dad to make sure he's distracted, and then kisses Liam's cheek. Ailie blows her gran a kiss, and Ruth snaps another photo. "Is your dad going to murder me?" Louis asks quietly. Brit and Loki have settled on the sofa, in a pile of fur.

"Nope," says Liam. "He's a bit… It's a little bit… It'll work itself out. Ruth and Nic are really chuffed, though. Just so happy for us." 

Louis nods and bites his lip. "Okay," he says. "Okay. If you promise."

"They don't know what to say," says Liam. He puts some tinsel on top of Ailie's reindeer antlers and she pulls it off with both hands and offers it to Louis. "It's all a bit… But they're not angry. They're just confused. But they love me, and they love you, and they'll love us."

"They will," agrees Ruth. "Have another drink."

"You are my favorite Payne," says Louis, taking the refill. 

Nic yells, "I should be your favorite!" She's comes over with a neat little gift bag and hands it to Louis, who has to give the baby to Liam so he can take it. 

"What's this?" Louis asks, looking at Liam, who shrugs. Ailie pulls her antlers off and starts chewing on them thoughtfully. "We aren't opening all the presents?"

"This one is special," says Ruth, grinning. She and Nic exchange glances Louis thinks are definitely conspiratorial.

Liam gives her a bit of a look. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing," says Nic, sing-song. "Open it."

Louis looks at Liam, but Liam clearly doesn't know, either, so he opens the bag.

There's an ugly Christmas jumper in it. In fact, the same ugly Christmas jumper that Liam and his dad are wearing. "Oh my god," Louis says.

"If Ailie gets one, you get one," says Ruth. 

Louis looks at Liam. Liam's got a little wobbly around the mouth, and hides his face in Ailie's curls. "Is this alright?" Louis asks. He looks from Liam to his dad. 

"Oh, of course, Louis," says Liam's mum.

Louis is not going to cry. Things are still really weird, and slightly fraught, and having the same jumper as Liam and his dad is _weird_.

It's also one of the kindest things anyone's ever done. "You're ridiculous, all of you," says Louis, and hugs Ruth, and then Nicola. 

"You always make Liam laugh," says Ruth. "Oh god, I need another drink. Who else needs another drink? Go and put your jumper on. We need to take pictures for the family."

Louis doesn't know what to do with his face. "Stop crying on our baby," he tells Liam, who just shakes his head and sniffs a little. "Tell your daddy to stop being so ridiculous and stop crying," Louis tells Ailie instead. 

She says "Daaaa," and pats Louis's face. 

"I love you," Louis whispers, giving Liam a quick, fierce hug.

Liam nods a lot. "Go and put your jumper on," he says. "We've got to take a thousand pictures before we can eat, and I'm starved."

"You're always hungry," Louis scoffs. They both roll their eyes, because they both just didn't make the same joke about Niall.

The jumper is a little too big, and it looks ridiculous. Louis grins like it's one of the thousand-dollar shirts they get asked to wear sometimes, when they're doing a big performance. Liam is holding Ailie and snacking on everything his mum has put out on the table for Christmas dinner, while Ruth and Nic help each other fix their hair and start posing in front of the Christmas tree. 

"First we'll have all the kids," Geoff says, picking up the camera. Louis takes Ailie. Liam's taller than his sisters, but he's still their little brother, and Ruth tries to rub tinsel and fake snow into his hair. 

"Stop, stop, you monster!" Liam yells, laughing. Ailie's obviously a bit cross at being left out of the fun, because she shrieks and tries to lunge her way out of Louis's arms and toward Liam. 

"Here, take her," Louis says. Liam reaches for Ailie, and Ailie reaches for all the shiny things on the tree. 

She won't turn around and pose for pictures, no matter how much her grandparents and Louis call her name. "Come on, darling. Smile," Liam coaxes. 

"Give her to her gran. She loves her," says Geoff. Liam hands Ailie over and she settles down, holding a shiny blue ornament with both hands. Liam takes a few pictures with Geoff and Karen holding Ailie. Loki gets quite excited by all the cameras and comes running over to investigate. After a minute he gets bored again, and lies down by Liam's foot.

"All the lads now," Ruth shouts. "Come on, Louis. Give us the camera."

Louis feels really unsure about the idea. But Liam is smiling at him, so he finishes his sherry and goes over to stand with Liam and his dad, all three of them in matching jumpers. The camera flash goes off about a thousand times, so he hopes his face is doing something acceptable. He can't hide behind his normal popstar smile. His face is making some other, terrible, sincere smile, instead.

"Just the boys and the baby," says Karen. "Come on, love." She pulls Geoff away from the tree, and Liam edges a little closer to Louis as they get Ailie back again. 

"Blow kisses," Liam coaxes, taking Ailie. Ailie obediently does her approximation of blowing kisses, and Nic and Ruth coo while her grandparents get a bit teary. They don't seem to particularly mind Louis being in the photo. Not even when Louis, a little rattled by all these photos and feelings, reaches for Liam's hand and clings. 

"It's just nice," says Karen. She's starting to cry again. "It's so funny, but I suppose Liam's got just the family he wanted."

"Fuck," says Louis, like he's just been hit. He squeezes Liam's hand. "I need a break, I need to go and get some air, I need—"

Liam leans over and kisses him. Louis goes nervous and stiff, but Liam tastes just the same as always. Even before they were boyfriends, Liam was this sort of calm, comforting, solid person. After a minute Louis manages to relax and kiss Liam back, and none of Liam's family throw anything at him. 

These pictures won't be able to go on the Christmas card, obviously. But Louis thinks they'll probably put them up on the fridge at Liam's flat and keep them there for years and years. 

"No, nooooo," says Ailie. She shoves at Liam until Liam stops kissing Louis and puts her down, so she can crawl over to Loki. He seems quite content to be cuddled and stroked, despite the occasional finger in the eye.

Liam whispers, "After we eat, you've got to help me get Ailie started opening presents. If she starts now we might be done by New Years."

"Oh, we'll just buy her more," says Louis, because he will. Every Christmas from now on is going to have to involve mountains of presents, and Christmas jumpers, and photographs, and weeping. It's always been his favorite time of the year and now it's… Well, now it's something else. Louis turns and gives Liam a quick kiss – the camera flashes again – to let him know. The look on Liam's face, though, says he already knows, and he agrees.


End file.
